How do you deal with a break up?

[paloftoon]

I was making a lot of progress on a relationship I was in. There were a lot of good things happening maybe up until two weeks before the break up.

I didn't see the hints, but the flip side also is there was not enough honesty in specifics that were bothering the partner. Part of it might have been feelings that there was not going to be a good future. They don't tell you because they don't know how to express and/or don't want to say. Probably usually a combination of both.

Any tips or questions? I could definitely use all the support I can get right now. Thank you.

 

[Bolletje]

Cliche, but try to focus on other things. Be kind to yourself. Hang out with friends, engage in your hobbies, maybe pick up a new hobby. Whatever you do, don’t ruminate on the breakup. Allow yourself to grieve, but don’t wallow too much.

 

[Suzanne]

The best way to get over a break up is that each time you dwell on all the postives of the relationship, you make yourself think of the actual reason for the break up and instead of listening to sad music; listen to music that makes you feel strong.

Keeping busy too is the goal and soon enough, the ache will fade.

 

[SusanLR]

 

[Thinx]

Can you say more about the points like you say, there was not enough honesty in specifics - what's an example of that? Hard to venture tips without more specifics!

I'm sorry it's tough now, it's hard to lose someone.

 

[paloftoon]

Can you say more about the points like you say, there was not enough honesty in specifics - what's an example of that? Hard to venture tips without more specifics!

I'm sorry it's tough now, it's hard to lose someone.

See PM.

 

[paloftoon]

I will say that natural rumination has helped me give myself complete closure and helps me learn. But I do have to be careful not to overdo it. It's hard to balance especially since cause in the situation below, there were things that need to be sorted out for myself.

I was once in a weird exdate situation where I will not get into details on this more public thread, but I needed to do it for my own closure because there were weird things online going on that were directed at me. I was lead astray because a lot of those around me were telling me otherwise. I finally wrote one final closure e-mail, and got an indirectly bad response online and not via e-mail. Then, I finally realized that I had to unfriend because the other person would not unfriend and hold on to hope not there (or knowingly make me hold on to hope and make me miserable in online communication format for unintentionally creeping him out.)