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How do you deal with breakups?

Ylva

Ylva

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
How do you deal with being dumped?

What about the "can we still be friends" line?

How long does it normally take to stop hurting?
 
I tend to get mad, then blame myself, then realize that doesn't help so, I work at moving on. I focus on work and hobbies and, try to spend time with friends. Takes me a couple of months to get to where I don't want him back, and a year or so before I'm ready to think seriously about another long term relationship.

I'm fine with the "friends" line, all but one of my still living exes are still my friends, one still works with me and, I'm the boss so, that's fine for me.

How long it hurts depends on the real reasons for the breakup. If I was equally or more at fault then, not long. I blew it, my bad so, to fix it, I need to fix me. If it was more them, a bit longer, nothing I can do to fix the cause of the problems so I tend to brood about it for a few months before I can let it go.
 
I breathe deeply, following my in-breath and my out-breath....
I find my center....
I become fully present in the moment, and..........

Get in touch with my inner guru on dating, womanhood, snacks, & self-esteem










 
Warmheart said:
I breathe deeply, following my in-breath and my out-breath....
I find my center....
I become fully present in the moment, and..........

Get in touch with my inner guru on womanhood & self-esteem










Click to expand...


I am sorry to stray off topic, but I am not sure I ever saw until now that Ms. Piggy can at times be quite sexy.
 
I am currently going through a trial separation and it hurts like hell. i have slipped into a depression and could really do with some advice too. hang in there
 
Oh :( I am sorry to hear this Ylva. I hope you and qwerty as well feel a little (cold perhaps) comfort that you are not the only one who's had that happen. For the breakups, the only thing that helped me was lots of exercise, it gave me the ability to burn through the dreadful anguish and confusion, bit by bit.
 
In no time at all, some new guy is likely gonna be puttin' the moves on you.
Hold out for someone suave. ;)

 
It depends on the relationship. The last one was really toxic, so I've been "over him" since the split but I still have a lot of venting I need to do and my friends and family are sick and tired of it as am I. I don't want him back but that first week after the split was when all the good memories kept flooding and I cried a lot. But after that I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and just felt like I had stepped out of a time machine. Then last April happened and it really kicked my butt. But that needed to happen. I needed to figure out on my own WHY it was a good thing it ended and with better words than the vague ones I had been sitting on. This was the month where it hit me hard. Epiphanies galore.

As for how it happened? He suggested we discuss the possibility of breaking up, so that next day we talked, and I took off the ring. Didn't give it back to him and I don't know why, but now I have things to sell. That's a great way to look at it. The dress, too. ;) Tis the season.
 
anne.bc said:
It depends on the relationship. The last one was really toxic, so I've been "over him" since the split but I still have a lot of venting I need to do and my friends and family are sick and tired of it as am I. I don't want him back but that first week after the split was when all the good memories kept flooding and I cried a lot. But after that I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and just felt like I had stepped out of a time machine. Then last April happened and it really kicked my butt. But that needed to happen. I needed to figure out on my own WHY it was a good thing it ended and with better words than the vague ones I had been sitting on. This was the month where it hit me hard. Epiphanies galore.

As for how it happened? He suggested we discuss the possibility of breaking up, so that next day we talked, and I took off the ring. Didn't give it back to him and I don't know why, but now I have things to sell. That's a great way to look at it. The dress, too. ;) Tis the season.
Click to expand...
 
I have never been able to hold a dating relationship, such that I theorize that I may not
have any adequate sense of "others thoughts or feelings", if this is not it, I then do not know
what is causative for this, beyond being aspie.
 
I have never really been able to hold a "meaningful relationship" for
for very long if at all. I have tried dating but until I learned of my Aspie
I could not understand why dating did not seem to work for very long.
 
It is better to break up than to stay together for poor or even imagined reasons. This is your opportunity to find a better fit. Take some time and date yourself for a while.
 
I still think about the loss of one particular relationship.

Almost to the day that would have been 29 years ago. Others? Not so much...if at all.
 
I was just given the "let's be friends" routine yesterday from a guy I really liked. But I guess I just couldn't do the whole "emotional, needy female" number that guys seem to want. Oh well, on to the next attempt, and to work on myself as well.
 
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