How do you deal with shutdowns?

[Lobelty]

It took me a long time to notice that I actually do shut down quite often actually. On most days, I get home and have some time for myself and want to do so many things but then I just have no energy to do anything and just end up scrolling Instagram until I can go sleep or there is some other thing I need to do. I also regularly have problems getting out of bed.

I am already trying to find a way to create more space just for myself during the day so I would shut down less often. But I came here to ask, when you ARE shutting down, is there any way to get out of it? Or do I just have to sit it out?

What do you do when you shut down? Is there something that helps you get out of it quicker?

Thank you for reading this and I would love it if you want to share your experiences in the comments

 

[Darkkin]

I retreat from people and other sensory stimuli. (e.g. I may take the dog for a long walk with my music on repeat and way too loud. I pull my shades or retreat to the basement and keep the lights off or low.)

I revert to comfort zone distractions. (e.g. foods, books, movies, tv series...things that don't require active engagement (spoons) but are still enough to fill up time)

If there is anxiety or any other strong emotion fueling a brief shutdown (pause), I may be still just long enough to get home and then vengeance and/or freakout clean the house. It is a weird coping mechanism, but it helps.

 

[Rodafina]

Good question. I’m still figuring it out myself because there doesn’t seem to be a good formula, yet. But here’s a few things that seem to help:

- Carve out time and space for myself no matter what.

- Limit unpleasant sensory input as much as possible.

- Only talk about it with people who understand (like forum folk).

- Don’t put myself in a situation where I will do something I will regret (like yelling at my dog or being rude to a family member)

- Believe that it will pass. Trust that it cannot last forever.

- Don’t be afraid to rejoin the world slowly when I start feeling better.

Like I said, it’s definitely a work in progress for me. Looking forward to reading the other responses here.

 

[Kisa the tea]

I need to be by myself when I do. Usually just sitting or laying down alone and (if I'm at home) do something I don't need my full attention for like a video in the background or something.

 

[VictorR]

For me, watching a favourite TV show episode or movie is something I like to do when I'm low on spoons, since I know exactly what to expect and it can cheer me up.

 

[Outdated]

What shuts me down is people with excited voices, this includes TV and radio. So I mostly only have friends that have a quiet and reserved nature. There are some people I can see day in and day out and they don't tax me at all, other people can completely burn me out in less than 15 minutes.

When I get burnt out I have to retreat before my behaviour gets too erratic. Losing myself in a special interest helps me get over it quicker, as well as plenty of sleep.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Prevention is key. In my home I don't play loud music, turn on bright lights, or watch bright videos. I try and avoid big commotions. I prefer quiet domestic arts, shopping quietly, or retreating to the hills or waterfront for important doses of wild nature.

 

[Progster]

I avoid activities that are high energy and tire me, or I tend to shut down in the middle of them. I find it tiring to have to talk all the time so I find ways to make it so I have breaks from the talking - when I'm teaching, get the student to do a five minute activity on their own. This is a coping mechanism for work. In social situations, I tend to shut down after a while and not speak, or I get up and go for a short walk outside if the environment is noisy. But I now avoid being in that kind of situation. I've found that as I get older, I don't have as many 'spoons' and I shut down more quickly.

 

[SusanLR]

Spend time to myself, usually in bed watching a favorite TV show and end up falling asleep.
Retreat, don't interact or talk with others, followed by a good night's sleep is the best cure I've found for a shutdown.

 

[tazz]

I'm getting a bit better at noticing when I'm approaching a shutdown so I can act a little sooner to prevent it. I have to go where people are not, and do something routine. I like to sit in the garden smoking a pipe, or potting up some seedlings in the greenhouse. I also don't have as much patience and energy for suffering overwhelming situations so I do more to avoid them in the first place.

But when shutdown starts to happen there's not a lot I can do to stop it. I have to just sit it out. Go somewhere alone and quiet.

Sorry if that's not much help.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

I'm getting a bit better at noticing when I'm approaching a shutdown so I can act a little sooner to prevent it. I have to go where people are not, and do something routine. I like to sit in the garden smoking a pipe, or potting up some seedlings in the greenhouse. I also don't have as much patience and energy for suffering overwhelming situations so I do more to avoid them in the first place.

But when shutdown starts to happen there's not a lot I can do to stop it. I have to just sit it out. Go somewhere alone and quiet.

Sorry if that's not much help.

Oh boy for me it took years to be able to admit when I was going to be in shutdown. For me it was weakness to admit that I was suffering, and a 'hassle' to do so; this mostly comes from my parents, who knew that 'something was wrong' and 'it had to stop' whenever I'd come back to their house after work and be silent and agitated. Even with my now-fiance, it just..took a long time for me to be comfortable and say when I was withdrawn or shutting down or whatnot.

 

[tazz]

This is only a recent development. I look back on my years running my own business and find it difficult to believe I was ever able to do it. But I realise now that it took a huge amount of energy to get through each day. Avoiding the meltdown or shutdown was a bit like bailing out a sinking boat - it's gonna sink but the harder I worked the longer it stayed afloat. It's only in the last 6 months, at the age of 50(ish) and with help from a psychologist and having gone through the autism assessment and diagnosis process, I've started to notice my "spoon count" (haha, I hate jargon but screw it, this feels like a good fit).

https://www.autismforums.com/threads/counting-spoons.43526/

 

[Aspychata]

First acceptance that l am feeling like l am dropping off of the earth. If it's really bad, darkness, and a soothing noise like a fan or a low TV hum. I have a rocking chair, and l find that is self-soothing, l didn't know it rocked when l bought it. And doing nothing, or getting a pressing chore done so l know the next 24 hours are free if needed. Sometimes a hit of caffeine and a run at the gym does wonders. And the toughest thing? Actually acknowledging what sent me down this path of agony or series of unfortunate events, so l can mindfully hit each trigger/mind fart into my mental pool game into the corner pocket, by analyzing the trigger, thinking about how it made me feel, then accepting it, then a deep breath, and releasing. Sometimes l have to wash, rinse and repeat the cycle if it's a particularly big trigger that caused me CPTSD. This is becoming easier to do, because it use to take me a week to even aknowledge the trigger. Now it's down to the next day.

 

[DaisyRose]

I like go listen to my favorito music and chill for a bit. It helps to clean my head and think about what is going on. I also like to write in my journal to get rid of the bad and negative feelings I had in that moment. I also like to talk to a loved one like my mom who will give me a big hug and help me get my feelings off my chest.

 

[Judge]

How do I deal with shutdowns?

First and foremost, I get myself as far from human contact as is possible given the circumstances. For me that most of the process. Otherwise it's just a matter of time that I'm ok and come out of that "fog".

And that I do it alone, and without any interference from anyone, regardless of their good intentions.

The last real shutdown I had involved me fleeing to my car, getting in and locking the doors. Let alone in a crowded parking lot of people who didn't even notice me.

 

[Autoktovia]

I really like animals and I have a lot of pets. It doesn't always work, but sometimes when I'm shutting down (or already shut down) my Fiancé lets my ferret out to play. Watching my ferret play usually helps pull me out of it. Maybe one of your special interests would help, if you have any. I think my pets help me because it distracts me from whatever caused the shutdown.