How do you deal with the homeless?

[Daguerreo]

There's one issue I've always had, and really feel the most uncomfortable in, and that is homeless people. There are several things that make me uncomfortable, and and have made me less and less genial towards them.

When they ask for money, they try to haggle every coin you have, saying no is one of the hardest things for me to say. Some talk to you across the street, yelling, and continue. I have learned to ignore them, and carry on. I don't really like doing this, but I don't want to give money to them, and I think it's nicer pretending to have not heard them, then saying no.

They're always blunt in their language, and I'm afraid of talking to them. I don't want to interact with them. When I visited San Francisco, I was afraid of all the homeless people, there was so many, and it ruined sight-seeing for me, because I was very uncomfortable when they were around, and I wanted to leave the area completely.

Does anyone else have issues with homeless people?

 

[IContainMultitudes]

I also saw lots of homeless people when I was in San Fransisco about 13 years ago. I liked how they were at least honest about what they wanted money for: I saw a few who were holding signs that said "Need money for beer." (Interestingly enough, I saw a grand total of one person begging for money when I was in Chinatown; he was down on his hands and knees with his face to the ground and a cup on the ground in front of him.) I'm a little skeptical about the homeless people where I live being in such a dire situation; I think I've seen one or two people who had signs saying they were Vietnam veterans who didn't look old enough to have been in the Vietnam War.

I don't encounter very many homeless people, but it does bother me when people in public ask me for money (whether they're homeless or not). My general policy when I'm asked if I have money I can give someone is to say "no" and go about my business (I don't usually carry very much cash anyway). Sometimes I'm sort of tempted to say, "Yes, I do have money, but I'm not giving you any," but that probably wouldn't be a good idea. One time when I was at the public library, this one guy who seemed a little threatening followed me all the way to my car to ask me for money; I briefly considered going for the big Maglite flashlight I keep in my car in case I needed to defend myself, but I figured it was a better idea to just run to the car, get inside, and lock the door.

I know that there are homeless people in genuinely difficult circumstances and that they don't necessarily end up that way just by being lazy, but my general policy is still not to give people handouts (it's not like I have a great deal of money to throw around myself).

 

[whale_bone]

If they are obnoxious I tell them that I'm poorer than they are, and ask if they could spare some change. And it's not like it's untrue. I'm in debt at least $20 000 for school, and can't really afford groceries. If they are verbally abusing I tell them to ****-off.

If they're nice, and I have time, I'll offer them a cigarette and talk with them. Seriously, some of the most interesting conversations I've had in my life have been with homeless people. I swear some of them were aspies, actually.

A few times, I've helped them get money (but that's only when it's a girl by herself, who I've never seen before... and I'm concerned about her safety).

But, yeah... I've always found homeless people more interesting than intimidating. I guess I like how they laugh at NT conventions and social posturing. And they tend not to judge my weirdness like others do. They're kind of refreshing to talk with.

 

[Spinning Compass]

One time when I was on vacation in Florida I was accosted by this homeless couple. I was by myself and there were two of them and nobody else around so I had to do some quick thinking. We were right outside this old cigar factory that had been renovated into shops and restaurants and stuff, so what I did was I told them that I would not give them money but I would buy them a meal. Well, they wanted to go to a place that was 15 blocks away but I said no, it was either here or not at all. So we all went inside. They were real nervous for some reason. We went to a bar and they ordered food to go. When the food came they sure left in a hurry. All the time the waitress was giving me the stink eye and when they left she called security and told them that the panhandlers were back and then she chewed me out for bringing them in there. Oh well.

 

[WildCat]

Depends. I've hung out with a few homeless without any sort of trouble, but that's just my luck. For safe measure I have this habit of being weary of anyone on the street that's not associated with someone else I know or whom I don't know personally. In a high traffic area like the grocery store I work at, and the neighborhood in which it's located, if you're not watching your back you're asking for trouble. At best you can get yourself into a sticky situation if you give off a certain vibe; worse, victimized - so unless it's someone asking for a cigarette I usually either mind my own business or lie and play broke (just like many of them do anyway).

I have plenty of stories to share about all the beggars and fiends that have been up there, if I could fit them in one post that is

 

[jaws]

I don't like being approached (really by anyone, lol) by beggars, however IF I have cash (which I seldom do) I'll give it to them. I figure it is good karma, and I'd hope someone would spare me a little if the roles were ever reversed. That said, I'd NEVER give them a ride (been asked that a few times) that just seems too dangerous. I will say that since I hardly ever carry cash, when I do give it to a homeless person it is usually a larger bill and I think the look on their face is amusing....but most of the time I just do a quick search of my pockets and tell them sorry, I don't have any to spare and continue walking.

 

[LgndKllr24]

Usually when I see somebody who is homeless, or looks like they are homeless, I am in my car stopped at a traffic light. I always make sure my windows are rolled up, because I really don't want them spotting me. My wife says there are some homeless people here in Vegas who are very aggressive and will actually start to almost get into your car. I don't want that to happen.

 

[Spinning Compass]

That reminds me of another time when I was in Florida. There was a little roadside park by the Suwannee River and I thought I'd stop in there to take a picture of the river. I was just swinging around looking for the best place to park my car when this guy came up off this picnic table where he had been lying all covered with beer cans. He looked (and probably smelled) awful. He comes lurching towards my car yelling, "give me a ride, give me a ride home!" I hit the gas and spun gravel getting out of there. About a mile down the road there was an agricultural inspection station with a Florida State Police car. So I stopped and the officer wanted to know if he could help me. I said I didn't need any help but that there was a man a mile down the road who needed a ride home and maybe they could help him out. I'm sad to say I didn't stick around to see if he was grateful for the help I sent.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I stopped giving money directly to homeless people after too many instances of being glared at because I didn't give them enough, and really I was not much better off than they were, because I was on disability and lived in a group home. Also, there was one time I "helped" a woman with "gas money" for a car I never saw, and later discovered she had pickpocketed me. Now instead of giving directly to homeless people, I give to charities set up to help them.

 

[King_Oni]

Well... it's a different deal here I guess. Because in Holland, everyone actually has the rights to a house and all. Every homeless person around here (though, there might be a couple of exceptions), is doing this by choice. They get benefits from the government and all, so if they're begging for money, they're actually just asking for "extras". And why should I give away my extras to someone else? If people are begging for money, to sleep somewhere, I don't see how I'm gonna help them. Because, for a fact, they get benefits from that... it's actually a problem they can't manage their money, and spend it on drugs or alcohol. Well, if you think about it, surely, it could be stated that "they should be helped with that". But with the national healthcare which actually is mandatory for everyone in Holland, it's not that I'm paying additional fees to help him/her.

So all in all, no one could be homeless over here... though, the ones that are, are so because they either choose to, or have a really, really weird loophole in laws which makes it an unbearable situation to live in. And I find it quite weird that with the homeless people I see, and those that are actually in homeless shelters (there are some), those people aren't helped outright, because apparently, they can map all of them and support them if they wanted to. I mean, if some guy comes to the shelter each day... I guess, there should be someone to ask him what his deal is. If that's not the case, then I wonder why not. Are the employees at a shelter only there to cash the money they 'earned" so hobo's can sleep?

 

[Occasional_Demon]

Well, in a lot of places - although I can't speak for Holland, obviously - while technically there are services to help homeless people into a home, realistically there are not enough homes to go around and too many people needing help. So, at least in my part of Australia, some people are homeless not by choice but due to circumstances. There's simply not enough resources to help the ones most in need. There are homeless shelters, but again, need > places. Plus lots of the shelters are short-term only, so they can deal with demand. The waiting list for public housing stretches to years, and due to higher living costs and higher rents, more and more people are finding it hard to maintain private rentals.

I know personally that I could've easily become a homeless kid at one point because there were so many times where I'd considered running away from home [not a happy family life, etc. blah blah]. If I'd ever done that, I would've ended up on the streets. I didn't have friends I could crash with, and not much family. I guess my point is that it's not hard to find yourself homeless. There's also a higher incidence of mental illness amongst those with mental illness, which makes it even harder for people to access services they need.

Sometimes I'll give people some change. I know that there's always a suspicion that people are going to use the money for beer or whatever, but I think that's their choice. Although once I remember once I gave someone money because he wanted to buy a burger from McDonalds, and that was exactly what he did, heh.

 

[kasmanaft08]

@King_Oni: That's an extremely interesting about the housing... I wasn't aware of that.

Although, I will argue, with the amount of shelters and programs around- it's that same logic to some extent in the U.S. I personally never gave money to the homeless, and for lots of reasons.

1. I'm not exactly rich, and have been tight on money in my own ways as well. I earned it (or it's at least mine) so I have full choice in what I do with it guilt-free, as selfish as that may sound.

2. If I did choose to spend my money on some charitable purpose, I'd much rather give to a cause I think could use it and benefit more people, not someone who (and let's be honest) is very likely untrustworthy for the above reasons. I would especially much rather give extra money to someone I personally know who is having cash problems or trouble paying bills.

3. It was a well-documented scam in the US, that people made enough money by things like that- that they would pretend to be homeless (or in unfortunate situations) just to make money. They made enough to support themselves apparently. They filmed some and found them just go home at the end of the day (or just spent it on drugs and went back to wherever they lived).

4. Also, particuarly in Austin, many of them were straight up assholes and banded together in groups, and would harass you or generally be obnoxious.

But if it were a situation where they needed food, I wouldn't give them money, but would much rather buy them a dollar-menu item or give them food I have. I really don't trust giving money to strangers like that and never do.

 

[Droopy]

I was once with my brother and a friend at the bus station when we were approached by this guy asking for money. He said that he was a pound short and couldn't get his bus home. Since he seemed polite and genuine my friend decided to give him a pound. A few moments later we seen the same guy exit the bus station, cross the street and go straight into the bookmakers to place a bet!

Generally I try to ignore the homeless and beggars, but often feel guilty when I walk past them. Sometimes I would give a pound if I feel like it. I have seen a number of homeless guys who do nothing but sit in the same spot and drink/smoke while asking for money. I tend not to give those types my money. The last person I gave money to was an eastern-European lady who was selling roses on the streets, in the pouring rain, to try and make a living. I gave her some money but told her to keep the rose as I had no need for it. I think it's important to note that while there are scammers and alcoholics, there are also genuinely homeless people that need help.

 

[Streetwise]

There's one issue I've always had, and really feel the most uncomfortable in, and that is homeless people. There are several things that make me uncomfortable, and and have made me less and less genial towards them.

When they ask for money, they try to haggle every coin you have, saying no is one of the hardest things for me to say. Some talk to you across the street, yelling, and continue. I have learned to ignore them, and carry on. I don't really like doing this, but I don't want to give money to them, and I think it's nicer pretending to have not heard them, then saying no.

They're always blunt in their language, and I'm afraid of talking to them. I don't want to interact with them. When I visited San Francisco, I was afraid of all the homeless people, there was so many, and it ruined sight-seeing for me, because I was very uncomfortable when they were around, and I wanted to leave the area completely.

Does anyone else have issues with homeless people?

try to not look at anyone

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

When people ask me for money and I have any on me (I usually do), I give it to them.

It is not for me to judge how they use it or lies or truths they may have told. I used to worry about that kind of stuff but I don't anymore.

That said, I do not live in a large city, nor in places where there are congregations of homeless people, so it might be different if there is an element of danger involved. OTOH, I have been in homeless shelters and "bad" parts of town over my lifespan. Those areas were not where the scary events happened in my life. I try not to be afraid of people just because they look different or live differently.

In fact, in pondering this, I have realized that over my lifespan, it is those people who could be seen as dangerous, or in dangerous neighborhoods, or whatever, who helped me the most, intervening in critical stages of my life. I was truly blessed.