How do you feel about those who are "transgendered"?

[Hurting89]

After seeing a transgendered person yesterday (it was a large man in transition) I got thinking about this. There is no moral opposition on my part to this as I am not religious or a "believer" and I stigmatize no one but I think for a man transitioning to a woman they have NO IDEA what they're getting themselves into and how hard it really is to be a woman.

They may have wished they had been born female but they have never experienced the turmoil and criticism that goes along with growing up in a female body. I have heard that many men that have transitioned into a woman have ultimately gone back on their decision and it's no wonder. I think sometimes it would be easier for a woman to transition into a man because of our current society.

What is your opinion on this?

 

[unsurewhattoname]

What turmoil and criticism? What is hard about being a woman?

(and I mean in places like the US, Canada, Europe, Japan, South Korea, Australia, New Zealand, etc - not talking about places where girls can't get educated or anything)

 

[Jonathan Lees]

there are struggles for both genders male or female, both genders face different struggles and challenges in day to day life. im not trying to say women don't suffer they clearly do (and there is a lot of gender inequality in society that of course im totally against, im also not making any judgement on which gender has it worse), im just saying that being a man is not a cakewalk either. in fact men are often expected at least in the UK to bottle up our emotions and to not be expressive and this can lead to a myriad of problems and depression, suicides are far higher for men than women in the UK as well for example.

i also have no objection to the transgendered and think all should have the opportunity to transition if they wish. we are all born with a biological sex (what our body is like) but gender (male or female or cisgender or genderless) is part of our self identity that we choose and determine for ourselves, everyone should have the opportunity to transition their body to more closely fit their self identity. also with modern technology the transition is getting better and better.

 

[Hurting89]

there are struggles for both genders male or female, both genders face different struggles and challenges in day to day life. im not trying to say women don't suffer they clearly do (and there is a lot of gender inequality in society that of course im totally against, im also not making any judgement on which gender has it worse), im just saying that being a man is not a cakewalk either. in fact men are often expected at least in the UK to bottle up our emotions and to not be expressive and this can lead to a myriad of problems and depression, suicides are far higher for men than women in the UK as well for example.

i also have no objection to the transgendered and think all should have the opportunity to transition if they wish. we are all born with a biological sex (what our body is like) but gender (male or female or cisgender or genderless) is part of our self identity that we choose and determine for ourselves, everyone should have the opportunity to transition their body to more closely fit their self identity. also with modern technology the transition is getting better and better.

I believe most men have never experienced the same harsh level of societal judgment as women, a man may be rejected for his looks, weight or social awkwardness but a woman will be condemned for this. In my late teens and early 20's in retail and restaurant jobs ect. I watched co-workers be fired for gaining weight or having their appearance change in some way (bad acne breakout ect) while men could stay on no matter what they looked like. There were also many other things that were acceptable for men to do that a woman could not get away with. Not demonizing a gender (not my intention at all) but society still does not regard us as of equal value in my opinion. I live in Canada why is supposed to be a "feminist" and "classless" society which couldn't be farther from the truth.

Those transitioning from a man to woman have to realize that they will lose certain privileges doing so.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

I believe most men have never experienced the same harsh level of societal judgment as women, a man may be rejected for his looks, weight or social awkwardness but a woman will be condemned for this. In my late teens and early 20's in retail and restaurant jobs ect. I watched co-workers be fired for gaining weight or having their appearance change in some way (bad acne breakout ect) while men could stay on no matter what they looked like. There were also many other things that were acceptable for men to do that a woman could not get away with. Not demonizing a gender (not my intention at all) but society still does not regard us as of equal value in my opinion. I live in Canada why is supposed to be a "feminist" and "classless" society which couldn't be farther from the truth.

i agree society is deeply unfair and many terrible things happen to women everyday including those you have mentioned above, i am a feminist and i wish society was fairer and im sorry for your negative experiences.

 

[apt-get]

I'm a transgender woman. Since there's a lot that most folks don't know about trans people, I'll be willing to answer questions that people have in this thread (quote my reply when asking so I get a notification).

 

[apt-get]

They may have wished they had been born female but they have never experienced the turmoil and criticism that goes along with growing up in a female body.

People who aren't trans are often not aware of the turmoil of living with gender dysphoria. It sucks, and the only way that trans people can effectively deal with it is to transition.

I have heard that many men that have transitioned into a woman have ultimately gone back on their decision and it's no wonder.

You've heard incorrectly. Regret rates for transitioning are actually very low, and very few people de-transition. Among those who do, it's usually due to transphobia in society and lack of support than not actually being trans. Regardless, the overwhelming majority of folks who transition are happy that they have transitioned. Speaking from experience, transitioning has been a huge benefit to my life, and I'd be willing to bet that most people that knew me both before and after would say I've improved from transitioning.

Those transitioning from a man to woman have to realize that they will lose certain privileges doing so.

Honestly, this sounds a bit condescending. Trans people already know that society treats men and women differently. On top of that, those of us who do transition have to deal with the fact that if we are visibly trans, that's a whole other loss of privilege on top of differences in how men and women are treated in society. This is something that most trans people are aware of when they start transitioning. Before I started transitioning, I saw quite a bit of articles about trans women getting killed and whatnot. For me, loss of social privilege is a very reasonable trade for having my body have the physiology I should have been born with.

 

[apt-get]

but gender (male or female or cisgender or genderless) is part of our self identity that we choose and determine for ourselves.

Being transgender is not a choice.

 

[Butterfly88]

I think people have the right to be whatever gender they choose. Transgender people often feel they were born in the wrong body.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

Being transgender is not a choice.

i didn't mean that being transgender is a choice, i didn't word it very well, i was merely trying to say that we have a right to our own gender identity (i said choice merely as a way of separating gender from biological sex), i understand that many transgendered people feel trapped in the wrong body and i know that is out of your control. i was less saying it was a choice more trying to say it is a right to be able to be whatever gender is right for us regardless of the sex of our bodies and that everyone has the right to transition. im sorry if i offended you it was not my intention, im not always the best at wording things and i hope you forgive me.

 

[Jonathan Lees]

Being transgender is not a choice.

what i really meant is we have a right to be a different gender to the one ascribed at our birth and i used the word choose to show this while knowing full well that for many it is not a choice, i do think we have a right to choose however if we want to even if for many it is not a choice. id love to know more about being transgendered and an aspie as not being one i have no idea what is like. once again sorry.

 

[apt-get]

im sorry if i offended you it was not my intention, im not always the best at wording things and i hope you forgive me.

You seem to have good intentions, so don't worry about it.

id love to know more about being transgendered and an aspie as not being one i have no idea what is like.

Feel free to ask. I came to this thread as someone to ask questions to since this is a subject that I'm guessing most people don't really know about.

 

[granolaturtle]

Yeah, trans women and men are both affected by misogyny, because that attitude is about controlling gender roles. I do like to point out that some trans people don't want to transition because they like their body the way it is. And that's okay too.

 

[unsurewhattoname]

I do like to point out that some trans people don't want to transition because they like their body the way it is. And that's okay too.

...then how are they trans? I thought trans meant someone who transitioned. Like a trans woman is someone who transitioned to be a woman. Is that not what it means?

 

[AsperDragon]

I believe most men have never experienced the same harsh level of societal judgment as women, a man may be rejected for his looks, weight or social awkwardness but a woman will be condemned for this. In my late teens and early 20's in retail and restaurant jobs ect. I watched co-workers be fired for gaining weight or having their appearance change in some way (bad acne breakout ect) while men could stay on no matter what they looked like. There were also many other things that were acceptable for men to do that a woman could not get away with. Not demonizing a gender (not my intention at all) but society still does not regard us as of equal value in my opinion. I live in Canada why is supposed to be a "feminist" and "classless" society which couldn't be farther from the truth.

Those transitioning from a man to woman have to realize that they will lose certain privileges doing so.

And i have worked 20 plus years in retail and restaraunt and i have seen women get big tips because they showed cleavage and ive seen women do things that would get a man fired instantly....it seems to me the current transition is going on in your mind as you realize that the worldview you had about men and women in society is still formative....yes women have it bad...so do men .....in many ways womens issues are worse in our society....in many ways mens issues are worse......ever been beaten by several people and then get detention for complaining that you just got beaten because you should learn to be a man? Im guessing not.....Ever had your life threatened with explicit details saying that they would be waiting in the parking garage to beat your head into a bloody pulp in the ground and then have security laugh at you for asking for a security escort to your car? Then later a woman working at the mall overhears a private conversation my friend and i were having about Shakespeare and gets scared because she doesnt understand our topic.....she tells the same place's security that i scared her and they immediately start paperwork to have me barred from the mall i worked at. Hmmm....explicit death threat not serious because you are a male.....vague fear based on partially overheard conversation by a female gets immediate action resulting in my having to retain legal counsel just to keep my job.
My point is.....all humans have it bad....both males and females have assholes that want to hurt others and to think that one gender holds the title for harder to transition to is not apt.
I cant tell you how many beatings i have endured in my life because i was acting in a way that another man didn't think was manly enough. ..i know that had i been transitioning to be a woman those beatings would have been even worse.
I think we can all agree that anyone going through a gender transition is a brave soul that has and will face great adversity and that they all deserve our support and acceptance.

 

[apt-get]

...then how are they trans? I thought trans meant someone who transitioned. Like a trans woman is someone who transitioned to be a woman. Is that not what it means?

Being trans means that a person's gender is different than what one would assume from their birth sex. Trans people before transitioning are just as trans as trans people after transitioning. It's really rare for a trans person to not want to transition, but I guess it's possible.

 

[Ste11aeres]

After seeing a transgendered person yesterday (it was a large man in transition) I got thinking about this. There is no moral opposition on my part to this as I am not religious or a "believer" and I stigmatize no one but I think for a man transitioning to a woman they have NO IDEA what they're getting themselves into and how hard it really is to be a woman.

They may have wished they had been born female but they have never experienced the turmoil and criticism that goes along with growing up in a female body. I have heard that many men that have transitioned into a woman have ultimately gone back on their decision and it's no wonder. I think sometimes it would be easier for a woman to transition into a man because of our current society.

What is your opinion on this?

I think that there is a hatred of people who've transitioned from men to women that goes beyond anything we cis-women normally have to experience. Their experience is probably not the same as the experience of us who've always been women-and by "not the same" I mean that they've probably got it worse.

 

[King_Oni]

I don't get the fuss about it all. If someone wants to identify as a woman and look the part, by all means, go ahead (obviously the same goes for women who identify as male)

All the issues people have with it totally go over my head

 

[StephF]

I fully support a person's choice to identify with whatever gender / lifestyle they choose. Yes I'm sure they will face difficulties but that shouldn't stop them. I applaud them for their bravery !

 

[Rainbowpride]

i always will support any one who is LGBT i see nothing wrong with being LGBT