When I see someone apologize for crying or attempting to hold back from doing it, I urge them to allow their natural venting of emotions to operate. I believe it to be healthy. A big part of the reason is my inability to do so. Often, I am desperate to cry; it is, however, a fairly rare occurrence. But would it actually be better if I can more readily cry?
This past Tuesday, while in the midst of a strong meltdown, I watched a movie. It was a badly-acted, wartime holiday story from American Girl - real sad and with a predictable ending. Throughout most of it, tears were pouring down my face. I felt horrible, but have little idea if letting it out was alleviating the hurt or adding to it.
Back in June, I attended a mental health-related conference as a volunteer on the technical side of its production. It was for parents of struggling kids, and took place over several days. For me, it was wonderfully eye-opening even while causing a great deal of distress. I had been such a kid and, 20-25 years later, I still am one.
Standing in the hotel lobby on Saturday morning, a couple of hours were spent singing to myself. Then, while saying and singing a prayer, a few genuine tears came out. I now felt sad but calm. That moment was a major turning point. Since then, I've been able to let myself be vulnerable, opening up to others and, more importantly, inside this messed-up mind. Doing so has been immensely freeing but also dangerous, because it's not yet happening with the restraint and direction of therapeutic support.
When thinking that I may cry, should I allow it? Should I actively invite such emotion? It's not clear to me. It would be great to see what the relationship of others to crying is. Does it come naturally to you? How do you choose to react to it? What kind of effect does it have on you?
This past Tuesday, while in the midst of a strong meltdown, I watched a movie. It was a badly-acted, wartime holiday story from American Girl - real sad and with a predictable ending. Throughout most of it, tears were pouring down my face. I felt horrible, but have little idea if letting it out was alleviating the hurt or adding to it.
Back in June, I attended a mental health-related conference as a volunteer on the technical side of its production. It was for parents of struggling kids, and took place over several days. For me, it was wonderfully eye-opening even while causing a great deal of distress. I had been such a kid and, 20-25 years later, I still am one.
Standing in the hotel lobby on Saturday morning, a couple of hours were spent singing to myself. Then, while saying and singing a prayer, a few genuine tears came out. I now felt sad but calm. That moment was a major turning point. Since then, I've been able to let myself be vulnerable, opening up to others and, more importantly, inside this messed-up mind. Doing so has been immensely freeing but also dangerous, because it's not yet happening with the restraint and direction of therapeutic support.
When thinking that I may cry, should I allow it? Should I actively invite such emotion? It's not clear to me. It would be great to see what the relationship of others to crying is. Does it come naturally to you? How do you choose to react to it? What kind of effect does it have on you?
