How I handled a bad day without giving up. Even though I wanted to!

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

Today was the worst day at work. I got there determined to have a good day and started to. Then the manager that always picks on me (my coworkers and other managers see it too and said they don't like it) came over just as I was getting into my rhythm and told me I was doing it all wrong.

First I grab 18 frozen sausage patties, but I have trouble counting in a normal way. I find it easier and faster to count 4 stacks of 4 and add 2. He saw me going to start laying them down on the grill and said "why do you have it in a big stack in one hand like that." How are you going to put them down 2 at a time. (He was wanting me to use both hands to put down 2 at a time) I said, "I can't do it like that". He said, " yes you can, watch" and took them from me and started doing it for me! I told him I still can't do it that way Because it's not how the training video showed me. It said "lay the patties in the order you will remove them." If you do 2 at a time, you would then have to have a spatula in each hand to take them up and that's ridiculous!

My brain shut off and I couldn't handle anything else he said but I didn't walk away and I didn't punch him in the face either. He then lied and said I was wrong and not following procedures. Then he pointed at a picture book and said "it's in there." I said, "show me what you mean". So he opened the book and found out I was right the whole time. I think he was trying to confuse me for some reason?

At that point I said "I'm going on break and stumbled away." All my coworkers and other managers saw it and said that was messed up. I went outside and crumbled to the floor and called a friend. I wanted to go get drunk and throw it all away but I didn't. I lost my appetite and was afraid to go back in because I thought I was going to get fired. Even though I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't get fired but that situation ruined the rest of my day and I got a bad headache.

Even after he left, I felt physically weak and kept forgetting things about my job and I just couldn't shake it. I asked to go home but they were busy and needed me. So I stayed. Plus he left to go to a meeting so the problem was gone, I just couldn't recover from this like I wanted to. I had to endure 7 more hours with a headache and my brain all scrambled. I had to go in the freezer and sit down a few times, but I made it through! I've decided I'm not going to run away from my problems, I think I am the problem, and so maybe I need to learn how to overcome myself.

Thank God I am safe in bed, I have a place to stay, shower, clean clothes, and an opportunity to try it again after this day off. Love you all and thank you for listening.

 

[Rodafina]

Well done making it through some intense thoughts and feelings and to the safety and comfort of your bed. Good idea to use short breaks in the walk in freezer to calm down, or shall we say cool off?

 

[Bolletje]

I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I think you handled the situation well.

 

[Angular Chap]

Sorry to hear you had a tough day, but I really admire you for being true to yourself. At my old job, I ended up running away from problems and resorted to heavy masking to try to cope with it all, but you stood tall and powered through to the end like a champ.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Today was the worst day at work. I got there determined to have a good day and started to. Then the manager that always picks on me (my coworkers and other managers see it too and said they don't like it) came over just as I was getting into my rhythm and told me I was doing it all wrong. First I grab 18 frozen sausage patties, but I have trouble counting in a normal way. I find it easier and faster to count 4 stacks of 4 and add 2. He saw me going to start laying them down on the grill and said "why do you have it in a big stack in one hand like that." How are you going to put them down 2 at a time. (He was wanting me to use both hands to put down 2 at a time) I said, "I can't do it like that". He said, " yes you can, watch" and took them from me and started doing it for me! I told him I still can't do it that way Because it's not how the training video showed me. It said "lay the patties in the order you will remove them." If you do 2 at a time, you would then have to have a spatula in each hand to take them up and that's ridiculous! My brain shut off and I couldn't handle anything else he said but I didn't walk away and I didn't punch him in the face either. He then lied and said I was wrong and not following procedures. Then he pointed at a picture book and said "it's in there." I said, "show me what you mean". So he opened the book and found out I was right the whole time. I think he was trying to confuse me for some reason? At that point I said "I'm going on break and stumbled away." All my coworkers and other managers saw it and said that was messed up. I went outside and crumbled to the floor and called a friend. I wanted to go get drunk and throw it all away but I didn't. I lost my appetite and was afraid to go back in because I thought I was going to get fired. Even though I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't get fired but that situation ruined the rest of my day and I got a bad headache. Even after he left, I felt physically weak and kept forgetting things about my job and I just couldn't shake it. I asked to go home but they were busy and needed me. So I stayed. Plus he left to go to a meeting so the problem was gone, I just couldn't recover from this like I wanted to. I had to endure 7 more hours with a headache and my brain all scrambled. I had to go in the freezer and sit down a few times, but I made it through! I've decided I'm not going to run away from my problems, I think I am the problem, and so maybe I need to learn how to overcome myself. Thank God I am safe in bed, I have a place to stay, shower, clean clothes, and an opportunity to try it again after this day off. Love you all and thank you for listening.

1. I am sorry you had to go through that, with what appears to be a toxic personality. Unfortunately, this person happens to be your manager, who has some power and authority over you.
2. From the outside, looking in, it sounds like the manager is actually a weak, insecure person who happens to be in a position of power. People like that are naturally a nuisance and can manipulate others, much to their delight. I makes them feel good to "flex" their authority. However, do realize that this is a weak person.
3. As an autistic individual who completely understands "we have our ways" because we can process our information differently than others, obviously, you're not dealing with someone who can recognize that you're still doing a good job.
4. Obviously, you feel things deeply and combined with a need to keep a job, it set you up with a deep sense of anxiety that was overwhelming. Good on you for sort of "keeping your wits about you" and knowing when to step away from the situation.

Bad bosses everywhere. However, do understand that a person that has to "flex" and "project" themselves by bullying, manipulating, embarrassing, making fun of others, etc. is a weak individual. This is a person, who likely, is quietly an insecure, anxious person themselves. Knowing that, and that this person has found a "target" in you, is handy information. What would happen if you suddenly started acting as if YOU were the dominant person in the next interactions with this person? A dominant person has the demeanor of the quiet, stoic, calm, assertive. A dominant person doesn't have to project. A dominant person has emotional control. You won't find a dominant person emotionally raising their voice. Use logic and reason. A dominant person walks into a room and without doing anything, everyone knows this person is dominant. A dominant person isn't always the manager or supervisor, but can be found in the "lower ranks" as an "unofficial team leader". I think if you do a bit of research on this topic you can recognize the traits, then work on yourself to imitate and use those techniques.

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

Well done making it through some intense thoughts and feelings and to the safety and comfort of your bed. Good idea to use short breaks in the walk in freezer to calm down, or shall we say cool off?

Yes

 

[1ofakind]

I'm so sorry about your work situation. I struggle with bullying too! But I really liked what Neonatal RRT shared. I'm going to try to work at having more of a dominant personality to make me less of a target for bullying. To me, it seems kind of like gaining self confidence with heart (Need to research to learn about it). I need to practice with some neighbors who have been bullying me. Maybe we can both work on these skills and share our progress?

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I think you handled the situation well.

Thank you. My coworkers want me to say something about it, but I think I already have. I just want to be left alone when I'm doing my job. I understand there are rules and procedures, but I'm not stupid. Maybe I can just make my new special interest studying the procedure book. I really don't want to be confrontational. And I'm not. I asked questions all the time and I'm confused because different people say different things. What I need is consistency.

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

1. I am sorry you had to go through that, with what appears to be a toxic personality. Unfortunately, this person happens to be your manager, who has some power and authority over you.
2. From the outside, looking in, it sounds like the manager is actually a weak, insecure person who happens to be in a position of power. People like that are naturally a nuisance and can manipulate others, much to their delight. I makes them feel good to "flex" their authority. However, do realize that this is a weak person.
3. As an autistic individual who completely understands "we have our ways" because we can process our information differently than others, obviously, you're not dealing with someone who can recognize that you're still doing a good job.
4. Obviously, you feel things deeply and combined with a need to keep a job, it set you up with a deep sense of anxiety that was overwhelming. Good on you for sort of "keeping your wits about you" and knowing when to step away from the situation.

Bad bosses everywhere. However, do understand that a person that has to "flex" and "project" themselves by bullying, manipulating, embarrassing, making fun of others, etc. is a weak individual. This is a person, who likely, is quietly an insecure, anxious person themselves. Knowing that, and that this person has found a "target" in you, is handy information. What would happen if you suddenly started acting as if YOU were the dominant person in the next interactions with this person? A dominant person has the demeanor of the quiet, stoic, calm, assertive. A dominant person doesn't have to project. A dominant person has emotional control. You won't find a dominant person emotionally raising their voice. Use logic and reason. A dominant person walks into a room and without doing anything, everyone knows this person is dominant. A dominant person isn't always the manager or supervisor, but can be found in the "lower ranks" as an "unofficial team leader". I think if you do a bit of research on this topic you can recognize the traits, then work on yourself to imitate and use those techniques.

Thank you

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

I'm so sorry about your work situation. I struggle with bullying too! But I really liked what Neonatal RRT shared. I'm going to try to work at having more of a dominant personality to make me less of a target for bullying. To me, it seems kind of like gaining self confidence with heart (Need to research to learn about it). I need to practice with some neighbors who have been bullying me. Maybe we can both work on these skills and share our progress?

For sure. We could also watch old kung fu movies and practice moving our mouths after we are done talking LOL (you're kung fu is no match for my spectacular spatula skills)

 

[Xinyta]

Today was the worst day at work. I got there determined to have a good day and started to. Then the manager that always picks on me (my coworkers and other managers see it too and said they don't like it) came over just as I was getting into my rhythm and told me I was doing it all wrong.

First I grab 18 frozen sausage patties, but I have trouble counting in a normal way. I find it easier and faster to count 4 stacks of 4 and add 2. He saw me going to start laying them down on the grill and said "why do you have it in a big stack in one hand like that." How are you going to put them down 2 at a time. (He was wanting me to use both hands to put down 2 at a time) I said, "I can't do it like that". He said, " yes you can, watch" and took them from me and started doing it for me! I told him I still can't do it that way Because it's not how the training video showed me. It said "lay the patties in the order you will remove them." If you do 2 at a time, you would then have to have a spatula in each hand to take them up and that's ridiculous!

My brain shut off and I couldn't handle anything else he said but I didn't walk away and I didn't punch him in the face either. He then lied and said I was wrong and not following procedures. Then he pointed at a picture book and said "it's in there." I said, "show me what you mean". So he opened the book and found out I was right the whole time. I think he was trying to confuse me for some reason?

This does sound like bullying, but it also sound like this manager is a know-it-all too. Trying to get you to do your job wrong because he thinks his way is "better". Or he may of not paid enough attention or didn't care to. Especially if he ended up needing the picture guide, to only find out you were right.

If anything, he publically humiliated himself. So you can take solice in that. You just did what you needed to do as a employee.

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

1. I am sorry you had to go through that, with what appears to be a toxic personality. Unfortunately, this person happens to be your manager, who has some power and authority over you.
2. From the outside, looking in, it sounds like the manager is actually a weak, insecure person who happens to be in a position of power. People like that are naturally a nuisance and can manipulate others, much to their delight. I makes them feel good to "flex" their authority. However, do realize that this is a weak person.
3. As an autistic individual who completely understands "we have our ways" because we can process our information differently than others, obviously, you're not dealing with someone who can recognize that you're still doing a good job.
4. Obviously, you feel things deeply and combined with a need to keep a job, it set you up with a deep sense of anxiety that was overwhelming. Good on you for sort of "keeping your wits about you" and knowing when to step away from the situation.

Bad bosses everywhere. However, do understand that a person that has to "flex" and "project" themselves by bullying, manipulating, embarrassing, making fun of others, etc. is a weak individual. This is a person, who likely, is quietly an insecure, anxious person themselves. Knowing that, and that this person has found a "target" in you, is handy information. What would happen if you suddenly started acting as if YOU were the dominant person in the next interactions with this person? A dominant person has the demeanor of the quiet, stoic, calm, assertive. A dominant person doesn't have to project. A dominant person has emotional control. You won't find a dominant person emotionally raising their voice. Use logic and reason. A dominant person walks into a room and without doing anything, everyone knows this person is dominant. A dominant person isn't always the manager or supervisor, but can be found in the "lower ranks" as an "unofficial team leader". I think if you do a bit of research on this topic you can recognize the traits, then work on yourself to imitate and use those techniques.

I just want to do a good job and I try really hard to.

This does sound like bullying, but it also sound like this manager is a know-it-all too. Trying to get you to do your job wrong because he thinks his way is "better". Or he may of not paid enough attention or didn't care to. Especially if he ended up needing the picture guide, to only find out you were right.

If anything, he publically humiliated himself. So you can take solice in that. You just did what you needed to do as a employee.

One thing I'm not is a quitter or a coward. I will use this to get stronger. My coworkers said they have seen managers come and go and I have too. I will just have to outlast and outlive. Eventually he will crumble away.

 

[Judge]

I just want to do a good job and I try really hard to.

One thing I'm not is a quitter or a coward. I will use this to get stronger. My coworkers said they have seen managers come and go and I have too. I will just have to outlast and outlive. Eventually he will crumble away.

I once had to outlast such a negative force at my place of work for about two years. In hindsight it was inevitable that he would get fired, and he did. Though he was not even in my department. Turned out people well above him were just looking for an excuse to get rid of him.

- And they did. The nastier they are, the more likely their demise will be- all through their own doing.

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

I once had to outlast such a negative force at my place of work for about two years. In hindsight it was inevitable that he would get fired, and he did. Though he was not even in my department. Turned out people well above him were just looking for an excuse to get rid of him.

- And they did. The nastier they are, the more likely their demise will be- all through their own doing.

I wish no harm on anyone. I hope and strive for peace but at the same time I've seen what happens so that is even more motivation to remain pure of heart and not stoop to their level

 

[Judge]

I wish no harm on anyone. I hope and strive for peace but at the same time I've seen what happens so that is even more motivation to remain pure of heart and not stoop to their level

Yep. Karma is alive and well in most any workplace.