Autism in my case has left me with a bit of a unique outlook on things. Yes, I have Autism and in terms of things like Anxiety, not liking large crowds, having been bullied, having been abused, sensory, the delays that led to my first diagnosis, all that. I’m also a rare bird in the fact that at only 38, I’ve lived a life and a crazy one at that. I’ve gotten to do lots of cool things and have also experienced hard times. I’ve traveled the country with and without a Car. Met my Better half in the process of traveling without a Car. I’ve had things go sideways on me more times than I can count. I’ve rolled up on things best left to imagination and have to try helping those impacted. Yet Autism for me has always been in the background, sometimes lurking there, other times out and present as a tool for getting wired into whatever I want or need to get done.
I grew up in a family with a rich military background, had a rough upbringing, but also grew up in style. My Mom started me young because she wanted me to keep up with my peers, mainstreaming me as much as she could. My Stepdad entered the mix, the owner of a Taxi Business and a Towing Business. Immediately he jumped in before he ever started dating my Mom. I was allowed to disassemble wrecked Taxis, help do maintenance on Taxis, and ride with the Tow Truck Drivers. My Mom forced me into a Cadet Program and that led to Civil Service for seven years.
I spent years, if not my entire life being underestimated due to Autism. My own Family never once believed I’d go as far as I eventually would. They didn’t think I’d handle my business or ours collectively as a family. The day my Grandma fell ill in 2006 was the beginning of a change in their attitudes. My Grandma never underestimated me. I’d been doing Security for 2 years when she got diagnosed with Stage IV Cancer. She beat that but was worn down. When in her greatest time of need at 83 years old in early 2008, I sounded the alarm from my office. I sent everyone and everything over to the house. I was Grandma’s protector, gatekeeper, you name it. My actions that early February Morning earned us 9 more days at her side before she passed. Then my travels began the following year and I would meet my better half over the course of the 2-1/2 years bouncing around. My Mom tried not to let me get after it, but my Stepdad told her to let me explore and find my place. I got myself into some pretty hairy situations. A few times I was certain I wasn’t going home alive, but I did. I met my better half and later asked her out. We’ve been together 14 years and she’s also on the Autism Spectrum like I am. Her Birthday being the day after mine and we are a year apart with me the older. Having all this experience, most of the family no longer underestimates me. Rather they know that I am just as capable if not more capable of handling business compared to them. Only exception is my Surviving Sister and my Dad’s Wife, both continue to underestimate me and even recently have tried taking advantage of me. That got shut down rather quickly on the part of my Dad’s Wife. My Sister is in the process of learning that lesson.
I belong to an Autism Group locally which is more for my Better Half than me as I see it. She’s the quiet one but likes to go out and do things. I myself in these groups despite having Autism, feel out of place. Reason why I feel out of place is because of life experience. I’ve lived a life, good, bad, ugly, and sometimes downright terrifying. Since my Oldest Sister passed away, my immediate family on my side has been a train wreck to put it mildly. My Mom is battling mental health issues but has come a long way since my Sister passed. My other Sister hasn’t spoken a word to her in 5 years and was one of those who bullied me growing up. The fact she’s an Autism Mom herself doesn’t seem to have changed her when it comes to me, despite my Nephew being 14, having Severe Autism, and will require assisted living for the rest of his life. My Sister accuses my Mom, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins of treating me differently. They don’t. She does, and refuses to see it. She and my Dad’s wife are the only people who do and have tried taking advantage of me, which I won’t allow. They’re not dealing with the sheltered kid I used to be. I’m well traveled, have more life experiences than they do, and am a seasoned professional in what I do for a living. That doesn’t register with them which is why I wish they didn’t know I have Autism. I trust my employer to know about Autism well beyond my own surviving Sister. That’s saying something. I miss my Oldest Sister because like me, she wouldn’t stand for the shenanigans. Let me put it this way. My Mother In Law as I call her, is a saint same as the rest of the family on my Better Half’s side. They’ve been my rock the last 14 years. As overly protective as I am of people around me in general, so to are they of me to an extent. They know I’m very capable and I’ve lived a life to prove it. Mother In Law tells me as of late “You’re the one with the head on your shoulders, yet you have Autism. That’s saying something. That actually says a lot”. Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not trusting of people in general because of everything I’ve experienced. I’ve taken steps to safeguard myself and the family I became part of. If me being safe and living life to the fullest means that my circle is small, so be it. My lifelong best friend that I grew up with since birth, he’s not in the Spectrum, but the fact that I am never mattered. I’m friends with his Wife too. A lot of those who bullied me when I was younger, I’m friends with them because we are now adults and they too have some life experience that taught them the errors in their ways. Some I met along the way as I traveled the country, Autism and not, they ended up being the biggest bullies I’ve ever encountered, and tried to ruin me. My relationship with my better half almost didn’t happen because of the things that were being said. My Mother In Law however, got to know me and knew immediately that these people were completely wrong and they were twisted.
Yes, I’ve definitely lived a life. I believe that I am in a unique situation of not fitting in with many others on the Spectrum because of it. If not for my Better Half and her family, I probably wouldn’t be involved in the Autism Community to even the minor degree that I am.
This is all just my two cents of it all, so it’s probably not worth much to you all. Figured I’d just get it out of me though.
I grew up in a family with a rich military background, had a rough upbringing, but also grew up in style. My Mom started me young because she wanted me to keep up with my peers, mainstreaming me as much as she could. My Stepdad entered the mix, the owner of a Taxi Business and a Towing Business. Immediately he jumped in before he ever started dating my Mom. I was allowed to disassemble wrecked Taxis, help do maintenance on Taxis, and ride with the Tow Truck Drivers. My Mom forced me into a Cadet Program and that led to Civil Service for seven years.
I spent years, if not my entire life being underestimated due to Autism. My own Family never once believed I’d go as far as I eventually would. They didn’t think I’d handle my business or ours collectively as a family. The day my Grandma fell ill in 2006 was the beginning of a change in their attitudes. My Grandma never underestimated me. I’d been doing Security for 2 years when she got diagnosed with Stage IV Cancer. She beat that but was worn down. When in her greatest time of need at 83 years old in early 2008, I sounded the alarm from my office. I sent everyone and everything over to the house. I was Grandma’s protector, gatekeeper, you name it. My actions that early February Morning earned us 9 more days at her side before she passed. Then my travels began the following year and I would meet my better half over the course of the 2-1/2 years bouncing around. My Mom tried not to let me get after it, but my Stepdad told her to let me explore and find my place. I got myself into some pretty hairy situations. A few times I was certain I wasn’t going home alive, but I did. I met my better half and later asked her out. We’ve been together 14 years and she’s also on the Autism Spectrum like I am. Her Birthday being the day after mine and we are a year apart with me the older. Having all this experience, most of the family no longer underestimates me. Rather they know that I am just as capable if not more capable of handling business compared to them. Only exception is my Surviving Sister and my Dad’s Wife, both continue to underestimate me and even recently have tried taking advantage of me. That got shut down rather quickly on the part of my Dad’s Wife. My Sister is in the process of learning that lesson.
I belong to an Autism Group locally which is more for my Better Half than me as I see it. She’s the quiet one but likes to go out and do things. I myself in these groups despite having Autism, feel out of place. Reason why I feel out of place is because of life experience. I’ve lived a life, good, bad, ugly, and sometimes downright terrifying. Since my Oldest Sister passed away, my immediate family on my side has been a train wreck to put it mildly. My Mom is battling mental health issues but has come a long way since my Sister passed. My other Sister hasn’t spoken a word to her in 5 years and was one of those who bullied me growing up. The fact she’s an Autism Mom herself doesn’t seem to have changed her when it comes to me, despite my Nephew being 14, having Severe Autism, and will require assisted living for the rest of his life. My Sister accuses my Mom, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins of treating me differently. They don’t. She does, and refuses to see it. She and my Dad’s wife are the only people who do and have tried taking advantage of me, which I won’t allow. They’re not dealing with the sheltered kid I used to be. I’m well traveled, have more life experiences than they do, and am a seasoned professional in what I do for a living. That doesn’t register with them which is why I wish they didn’t know I have Autism. I trust my employer to know about Autism well beyond my own surviving Sister. That’s saying something. I miss my Oldest Sister because like me, she wouldn’t stand for the shenanigans. Let me put it this way. My Mother In Law as I call her, is a saint same as the rest of the family on my Better Half’s side. They’ve been my rock the last 14 years. As overly protective as I am of people around me in general, so to are they of me to an extent. They know I’m very capable and I’ve lived a life to prove it. Mother In Law tells me as of late “You’re the one with the head on your shoulders, yet you have Autism. That’s saying something. That actually says a lot”. Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not trusting of people in general because of everything I’ve experienced. I’ve taken steps to safeguard myself and the family I became part of. If me being safe and living life to the fullest means that my circle is small, so be it. My lifelong best friend that I grew up with since birth, he’s not in the Spectrum, but the fact that I am never mattered. I’m friends with his Wife too. A lot of those who bullied me when I was younger, I’m friends with them because we are now adults and they too have some life experience that taught them the errors in their ways. Some I met along the way as I traveled the country, Autism and not, they ended up being the biggest bullies I’ve ever encountered, and tried to ruin me. My relationship with my better half almost didn’t happen because of the things that were being said. My Mother In Law however, got to know me and knew immediately that these people were completely wrong and they were twisted.
Yes, I’ve definitely lived a life. I believe that I am in a unique situation of not fitting in with many others on the Spectrum because of it. If not for my Better Half and her family, I probably wouldn’t be involved in the Autism Community to even the minor degree that I am.
This is all just my two cents of it all, so it’s probably not worth much to you all. Figured I’d just get it out of me though.
