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How many friends do you have?

How many friends do you have?

  • 0

    Votes: 9 34.6%

  • 1-2

    Votes: 8 30.8%

  • 3-5

    Votes: 5 19.2%

  • 5-10

    Votes: 1 3.8%

  • 10+

    Votes: 3 11.5%
  • Total voters
    26
That's kind of a hard question. Because although I am very shy, and prefer alone time, I also crave companionship. I like almost everyone I meet, so there are many people who I consider friends, even if I don't talk to them regularly. But there are only a choice few whom I allow into my heart, to know my secrets. Very few in my entire life, actually.
 
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It depends on what you would call a friend. Close friends, I have 1 or two at a time. People who I know who might call themselves friends but aren't close ones, about 10. These are mainly friends of my partner, but really they are his friends rather than mine.
 
Are we talking online friends, or...?

I consider my wife to be my best friend, and everyone else IRL is either family or an acquaintance. I really like talking to people who share my special interests and obsessions though (none of them live in my neck of the woods), so that kind of limits me into hermitdom / internet-friendville. But I like it that way. I'm super shy so I don't really care.
 
Through much of my life I tended to end up with more friends than I could really handle, I have the gift of the gab.

Of course I'm getting older now and there's a bit of Grumpy Old Man Syndrome adding to my character. So when I moved down to Adelaide I decided that this time around I don't want any friends. I'm happy with that. I still have a couple of good friends up north and a couple of online friends that I've never met in person, for me that's enough.
 
I definitely have more than 50-60 acquaintances, and my circle of surface level friends irl is probably about 20+ people, but I have less than 10 close friends irl, one best friend, and a lot of close online friends.

I'm very extroverted so I don't really have a hard time meeting people or making connections, but the number of people I legitimately trust and would talk to about personal stuff is very small.
 
First, you have to define "friend." Outside my immediate family that would range from zero to three, depending. NTs often consider "friends" to be what I consider casual acquaintances.

I had a really close friend once but he died 20 years ago.
 
Not many, I can say that much.

Offline specifically is where this falls apart for me. I only know one person offline, and... that's it. Most people are either annoying or spectacularly uninteresting, so I tend to just keep to myself. The very concept of actually making a new friend offline is inconceivable to me. I have no idea how I got the one I do have (no seriously, I have zero memory of that, he's just always been there).
 
I had a best friend from when I was 4 to when I was 24. Until I got a new bf and he "accidentally" gave me a concussion. I talked to my friend about it and she told me I should take advantage of how much money he lioed to spend for me because my whole life sucked and she said I deserved it. I told her it was against my principles to be friend with someone who suggested to take advantage of someone like this and that we could no longer be friends. I hated myself so bad for ending the only real friendship I ever had for a guy (who ended up being an abuser) that I've let him beat me for 3 years thinking I deserved it and I had no one else and could never find friendship like this ever again.
I was right. I never had a real friend who didnt betray me after her.
No one understand me I dont want to try anymore.
 
Ravendreams said:
I had a best friend from when I was 4 to when I was 24. Until I got a new bf and he "accidentally" gave me a concussion. I talked to my friend about it and she told me I should take advantage of how much money he lioed to spend for me because my whole life sucked and she said I deserved it. I told her it was against my principles to be friend with someone who suggested to take advantage of someone like this and that we could no longer be friends. I hated myself so bad for ending the only real friendship I ever had for a guy (who ended up being an abuser) that I've let him beat me for 3 years thinking I deserved it and I had no one else and could never find friendship like this ever again.
I was right. I never had a real friend who didnt betray me after her.
No one understand me I dont want to try anymore.
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That's sad. I do hope you are no longer in an abusive relationship.
Have you ever thought about contacting your old friend, perhaps?
 
i have a sizable amount of friends and people i consider chosen family (mostly made through my special interests), but in my day-to-day life i'm largely asocial. i really enjoy interacting with others but definitely prefer the buffer of texting or social media contact. i'm almost exclusively socially reactive as opposed to proactive; i very rarely initiate in-person social interactions, but i can sometimes be prodded out of my shell and into a hangout if i'm feeling up for it

my desire to maintain my relationships and experience "typical" companionship VS my desire to avoid the bottomless exhaustion that comes with masking, overstimulation, unpredictability, and being separated from my routine. a constant and tiresome balancing act
 
Alexandria said:
That's sad. I do hope you are no longer in an abusive relationship.
Have you ever thought about contacting your old friend, perhaps?
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Too much damage has been done between my parents and hers (neighbours fight) and me and her. Last time Ive tried to reconnect She was in an abusive relationship and her bf got mad at my 2yo for playing. I cannot have any more drama in my life.
 
Ravendreams said:
Too much damage has been done between my parents and hers (neighbours fight) and me and her. Last time Ive tried to reconnect She was in an abusive relationship and her bf got mad at my 2yo for playing. I cannot have any more drama in my life.
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I'm sorry to hear that. In such a case, I agree, it is best to let it go...

I see you're a new member here - so a warm welcome to you! I'm sure you will find new and interesting people here with whom to interact, @Ravendreams :)
 
None offline unless you count meeting online friends once every year or so. I have 3 proper friends currently including partner. Used to be 4 but things happen. I've been meeting more people but as I no longer participate in much it's not very easy to have enough casual interaction to ever be more than vaguely friendly with others.
The key ingredient really seems to be essentially locked in a room together, nothing to do but interact. A class, an event, a job, a club, a trip. Month or so of that and you can often get there if it's someone you were ever gonna befriend at all. Difficult to replicate this online.
 
Only a good online friend. Excluding my family, I don't consider anyone else a real friend. Acquaintances are plenty, but no real friends.
 
IRL, and local enough for frequent contact: 0
Work-based friends: 1
Several online friends.

I do have some distant friends, very infrequently contacted, but still close.
 
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