How many here can say "your family & others didn't have your back"

[Aspychata]

I am a motherless child, my father, my step-father, nope. My brother, was 50/50. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. My grandmother was the only person who had my back. What's your story?

My mother was emotionally neglectful, uncaring.

 

[elgat0verde]

My parents never had my back, they always blamed me for everything
Father is an extreme narcissist
Mother is an enforcer and narcissist as well
Sister is a narcissist.

I had some uncles and aunts that did have my back but they have since passed away

Most of my extended family doesn't care about me so I am on my own and have always been on my own because they are all narcissists

 

[Xinyta]

My bio mother left me at 1 & 1/2 years old.
My stepmother is a narcissistic, neurotic, control freak.
My father is all about money and his own success. So narcissism.
My half sisters are both messed up in thier own ways.
My half brother is the only one that seems half way normal. If not overly spacy around family. Though that's for good reason.

Overall, I got shelved. My half siblings got alot more attention. Even though my step mother, thier mother, screams at them too for mundane/trivial reasons.

So yeah. I did get pretty well screwed out of alot in life, because of my parents.

 

[Bolletje]

I’ve had times in my life where my family did not have my back at all. Thankfully, right now is not one of those times.

 

[Judge]

Guilty as charged. Though "my family" these days amounts to my brother and my cousin, and that's about it.

Then again maybe I should discount my brother sense we had a falling out some six months ago. With a cousin who won't even recognize autism in whole or in part other than as a lifestyle choice and attitude.

When my mother was alive, she always had my back no matter what. Thanks Mom.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

My siblings and I are tight and especially three years ago as my mother was dying we supported each other. Growing up I basically had an absentee father and a mother who craved attention and wanted to micromanage us. Nobody understood my social difficulties. I grew up confused and did not know where I fit in.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

We have always had each other's backs. When my dad died my brother who lived in the basement needed home, my sister found a suitable condo. Asked the rest of us to pool our funds make an offer had the condo bought in a matter of days. No questions asked. A few of us just did it without getting spouses involved. As family is family. brother died few Years later. unbelievably and unintendedly our investment had doubled, when we sold the condo. a couple of my sibling could have done this alone, But we all shocked each other. no haggling done in a day.

 

[Outdated]

I grew up in a dysfunctional and splintered family, I had to be pretty much self sufficient by age 12.

These days I don't even know if any of my family still live.

 

[Ken]

Too long a story here.

Never had any family member having my back. In fact, quite the opposite. I once had a friend that I can say had my back, but unfortunately that was temporary. I guess I can say my wife sometimes has my back.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I do not wish to tell the story. But I can say that I pretty much was on my own, and had to teach myself everything. I was alone most days and had no one to talk to. Not even at school or home. My grandmother was my only happy place in life.

It was very difficult.

I mean, there were some really happy memories of togetherness. But for the most part, I was an unwanted child, and there were drugs and a lot of unspeakable immorality in the adults around me. I always wondered why adults' eyes sparkled in a different way than childrens'. And why adults spoke so slowly, and didn't want to do things with children. I didn't realize until adulthood, that their eyes were sparkling and their behavior was so different, because they were high on pot, coke, or heroin. This was a painful truth.

I mean, they used drugs in front of me, and encouraged me to do the same. I knew they were getting high. But I didn't realize the depths of their addictions and how it affected my upbringing, until I had a child of my own, and reflected on how I would do things differently.

People often say they wish they could have their carefree childhood back. Mine was horrible. Nearly every day and every night. I am so glad to be rid of it. I can be free.

I love my family with a fierceness. I am so proud of my parents. They are such good people, and have overcome so much. They have been there for me throughout my whole adult life.

 

[TBRS1]

My parents were good.

My dad was undiagnosed (1920 era), a farm kid who was "cured" with a belt. mom was loving and kind, and taught dad to be better than those who raised him.

But they were not supportive. I was not diagnosed (would have been late 50s, early 60s, so undiagnosed was better), and mom & dad wanted a more normal kid that they could be proud of.

Still, they were pretty good when you consider the surrounding time & place.

Today, they would have known better. But not then.

 

[Luca]

I’ve had to be self sufficient and have my own back for basically my entire life.

I don’t know my biological family at all, I was bounced around from various foster homes and facilities, and I have been faced with basically the worst abuse that humanity has to offer.

My adoptive family is rarely supportive or generous beyond a surface level. I have to do most things entirely on my own, and I get asked to pick up their messes a lot.
My parents are in their 70s but I may as well be parenting them. They act like they’re being supportive but a lot of the things they say and do are abuse.

Some of my irl friends definitely have my back and are incredibly loyal and supportive, and some of them are two-faced and competitive. Depends on which group of friends.

So I have to fend for myself most of the time and if anyone has my back, it’s me.

 

[Kisa the tea]

My parents are horrible people. They are both alcoholics and my mother was addicted to smoking. They barely ever did anything for me or my sibling. We were on our own a lot. They didn't care about us at all. They were not ready for the responsibility of taking care of a child, let alone two.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

It is hard, what do you do?
Mine do not either, understand my struggles or have been able to support them.
My dad has been a lot better lately but still I need more undivided attention at times and compassion and empathy.
I like a lot of attention not always in a verbal way sometimes just understanding, compassion and empathy and hugs and kisses.
And I like gifts and being spoiled and feeling like I matter.
Some attention you want is not always the superficial stuff.
But feelings of comfort like you matter.
People cannot understand or empathize. Their hearts are too small to comprehend.
Sometimes people can only understand if they were there and they speak your language.
People are often too self-centered and that is why their relationships mess up.
If you have seome sick, you stand by them. You only know when you are in the situation and have to care for another.
No one is perfect everyone can get frustrated but loving and caring for a sick person is a labour of love.
You have to make them meals, support them if you get frustrated you do. You may get angry, some people are lucky when they have people who try their best because it is not easy for the person to be terminally ill.
No matter what ends up being the outcome, that person will always need empathy and support and it is nice to know someone loved you and stood up for you and would remember and miss you.
I know my family would but it is hard when they cannot understand or be the support you need.
Men can be worse than women roo, my dad is better than my mum but hopeless with medical stuff and it is probably because he loves me so much too and could not stand to see me sick.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I’ve had to be self sufficient and have my own back for basically my entire life.

I don’t know my biological family at all, I was bounced around from various foster homes and facilities, and I have been faced with basically the worst abuse that humanity has to offer.

My adoptive family is rarely supportive or generous beyond a surface level. I have to do most things entirely on my own, and I get asked to pick up their messes a lot.
My parents are in their 70s but I may as well be parenting them. They act like they’re being supportive but a lot of the things they say and do are abuse.

Some of my irl friends definitely have my back and are incredibly loyal and supportive, and some of them are two-faced and competitive. Depends on which group of friends.

So I have to fend for myself most of the time and if anyone has my back, it’s me.

Hugs, so sorry.
You deserve so much more. XoXo
Hope you find genuine love in your life.

 

[AprilR]

My parents did their best to support me when i was a child. I always hided my problems like anxiety, trouble relating to others and making friends bc i did not want to make my parents sad.

 

[Metalhead]

My parents are narcissists. Nobody in my blood family has my back.

 

[betazoid]

My aunt was mostly supportive.
My mother was young when she had me, she made some serious mistakes, she wasn't abusive and we have a good relationship today but she was never a particularly good parent.
My grandparents raised me as much as my mother did and they're a violent, alcoholic narcissist and a manipulative codependent. So that's been fun to unpack.
My biological father was never in my life.
Other relatives needn't really be mentioned. No close relationships or support from any of them. But I do like my siblings, all of whom are much younger than me.

My aunt and mother are flawed but I appreciate them. They're human, at least.

 

[All-Rounder]

I’ve had to be self sufficient and have my own back for basically my entire life.

I don’t know my biological family at all, I was bounced around from various foster homes and facilities, and I have been faced with basically the worst abuse that humanity has to offer.

My adoptive family is rarely supportive or generous beyond a surface level. I have to do most things entirely on my own, and I get asked to pick up their messes a lot.
My parents are in their 70s but I may as well be parenting them. They act like they’re being supportive but a lot of the things they say and do are abuse.

Some of my irl friends definitely have my back and are incredibly loyal and supportive, and some of them are two-faced and competitive. Depends on which group of friends.

So I have to fend for myself most of the time and if anyone has my back, it’s me.

I'm quite competitive by nature, and it's in my nature to compare things, however I think that a lot of nature's gifts to humans are not comparable between humans and cannot be compared in a way that they will give any superior results, and some things do not qualify as negatives if for example someone's style or task completion is better than someone else's. It's just human difference and there is beauty in accepting it to some extents.

Although I believe that it's not worth it hanging out with people who make you feel bad when you're with them like maybe once in 6 months and spacing it out to that point, like an aquaintance if even, and real friends should surround you with their capacity to make you feel good because it matters to our mental health and we are the sum of the humans that surround us, in one way or another. It's not personal, some people just don't match.