How to ask partner about life expectancy???

[granolaturtle]

So very recently I was having a conversation with my partner and I knew he was chronically ill and that he had problems with his stomach and all these other things related to his nervous system and whatnot but he told me that eventually either his stomach lining, kidneys, liver or intestine lining will give out and I don't know what that means for how much time he has.

but I don't know the most sensitive way to ask. I don't want to remind him even more about what he's going through and we've had quite a bit of discussion already about his health and whatnot.

I care about him so much but I don't know what to do.

 

[Suzanne]

Hi there.

I have a dreadful digestive system. Hiatus hernia that is the biggest it can get, which means that the stomach is pushed up into the esophicus ( terrible spelling) and slides back down, as it is a sliding hiatus. Also suffer GERD and IBS, but despite this, I am able to control things.

First of all, the stomach lining is so strong, that it cannot be damanaged, because that lining takes acid that is stronger than battery acid and needs to be this strong, due to the stomach acids that we NEED in order to basically chew up the food we eat and then, go through another opening to our intestines.

If he is an acid reducing tablets, then reduce them as soon as possible. I was on 40mg and even going to 60mg due to chronic acid issues, but now down to 10mg and do a particular exercise each morning, that is supposed to push the stomach back down and close the hole.

Is he perhaps a bit of a hypochonidriac?

None one dies of stomach issues, but the medicine that one is encouraged to take, can cause damage to other parts of the body.

I have a plain yoghert and honey each day and that helps balance the good gut bacteria.

And he wants to take up cardi exercises, because that is great for the heart.

 

[granolaturtle]

Hi there.

I have a dreadful digestive system. Hiatus hernia that is the biggest it can get, which means that the stomach is pushed up into the esophicus ( terrible spelling) and slides back down, as it is a sliding hiatus. Also suffer GERD and IBS, but despite this, I am able to control things.

First of all, the stomach lining is so strong, that it cannot be damanaged, because that lining takes acid that is stronger than battery acid and needs to be this strong, due to the stomach acids that we NEED in order to basically chew up the food we eat and then, go through another opening to our intestines.

If he is an acid reducing tablets, then reduce them as soon as possible. I was on 40mg and even going to 60mg due to chronic acid issues, but now down to 10mg and do a particular exercise each morning, that is supposed to push the stomach back down and close the hole.

Is he perhaps a bit of a hypochonidriac?

None one dies of stomach issues, but the medicine that one is encouraged to take, can cause damage to other parts of the body.

I have a plain yoghert and honey each day and that helps balance the good gut bacteria.

And he wants to take up cardi exercises, because that is great for the heart.

He has a central nervous system disorder and is in a wheelchair. He also has issues with mobility throughout the day. I remember last time he had a bout of illness he couldn't even hold down water. and there's also his kidneys and liver.

I'm afraid to say he isn't a hypochondriac. I wish, so, so much that was the case. but I don't know how this affects his life expectancy so that's why I was asking how to ask him about it.

and I think he already has a specific diet he needs to follow.

 

[paloftoon]

Whatever exercises are feasible for him to do, and discussing positive things can be helpful. if you do those exercises with him and spend time with him during these activities, that can be very helpful too.

 

[Alcyon]

Why not just flat out ask him? It is generally what we do, and maybe it will be a relief for him to talk about it.

 

[granolaturtle]

Why not just flat out ask him? It is generally what we do, and maybe it will be a relief for him to talk about it.

update: I did and he said he doesn't know, but is sure he won't be old. He promised to tell me when it gets really bad so I can be there for him.

 

[midlife aspie]

update: I did and he said he doesn't know, but is sure he won't be old. He promised to tell me when it gets really bad so I can be there for him.

Don't expect this. My experience is that folks don't want to cause more anguish for their loved ones than they feel they must, so they tend to understate things. I know this will be hard for an Aspie, but you likely will have to rely more on your own intuition in this case.