How to deal with loneliness

[pineman93]

How do all of you deal with being lonely

 

[VictorR]

Engaging in one's interests is a great way to keep oneself busy. Sometimes it also helps to have multiple interests that you can jump between.

I also like going for walks in nature. The tranquility and seeing and experiencing other living things, be they trees, birds, fish, or fellow walkers, helps me feel connected and part of a larger whole.

 

[pineman93]

That’s true but I would also like to have friends but I’m not sure where to start

 

[VictorR]

Most of my friendships developed over work (e.g. getting to know a colleague well) or a common interest / experience (e.g. interacting with fellow forum members here).

I'm currently trying to work on a third way, which is attending social activities / events (e.g. meetup groups and hiking groups).

One of the main things is that friendships are things that quite often develop slowly over time, and sometimes there are people whom we come to know and respect as acquaintances but you don't have a sufficient mutual connection to become friends, and that's okay too.

 

[pineman93]

I see I have though about going to social groups as well but transportation could be a problem

 

[VictorR]

Indeed, physical location, mobility and transportation challenges, and obscurity of one's interests can sometimes pose additional challenges to making connections, but think of it as something to overcome, so that when you do overcome them, you can better celebrate your successes.

One of my interests for example is travel and seeing new places and experiencing new things, but as someone who neither drives nor rides a bike, my options are restricted considerably, but I just plan around that and focus on what is possible. And sometimes that takes me to places that I might not have otherwise gone to.

 

[pineman93]

I would like to learn how to drive it would give me or ability to help my family out how ever I’m also scared the I am going to hurt someone on accident or break something but I think learn to drive will help my social life also I’m going to bed we can continue this tomorrow if you would like.

 

[pineman93]

This is a reason I miss school being there wasn’t fun but you could talk to your friends

 

[VictorR]

If you're not already working or volunteering, have you considered the possibility? That would at least give you some interaction with others, in a predictable way, that may help you with feeling more connected with your community and also help with practice and confidence in talking to people.

 

[Georgia Galaxy]

Engaging in one's interests is a great way to keep oneself busy. Sometimes it also helps to have multiple interests that you can jump between.

I also like going for walks in nature. The tranquility and seeing and experiencing other living things, be they trees, birds, fish, or fellow walkers, helps me feel connected and part of a larger whole.

I agreed ^^

 

[Mr. Stevens]

That’s true but I would also like to have friends but I’m not sure where to start

I agree with Victor that friendships can take time. And, in my experience, often come from chance. I would add that when we are desperate for friends or partners, this tends to attract the wrong people. Not that knowing this makes loneliness easier to deal with, but it is worth keeping in mind if that's a struggle for you. It was definitely a struggle for me, at certain times.

 

[Suzanne]

Watch Korean dramas, that is how I battle with keeping away loneliness. But, there is a snag, because once the drama is over, I can feel the nasty sensation come back and so, need to find another drama to watch.

 

[betazoid]

Do you have any friends who are also on the spectrum? Personally, I never felt lonelier than before I understood my autism, when I was still trying to fit into a neurotypical world with neurotypical friends. These days I seek only other autistics/neurodivergents and although the quantity of friends I have today is much lower than ever before in my life, the quality of my relationships with the friends I do have is so much higher because there's so much more understanding/authenticity/depth. I'm much happier in general and feel less lost, like I understand and value myself more.

It is hard to meet new people though, I still struggle with that. It can be difficult to find other autistic people in real life. I wish there were more in-person groups or networks or something.

Anyway, you may be happy with the friends you already have. I know how much loneliness sucks so I sympathise. I hope you find a way to deal with it that works for you.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

^ I totally agree with this post. It's so much nicer befriending people on the spectrum, or even those with intellectual or other developmental disabilities.

 

[JRai701]

How do all of you deal with being lonely

I deal with loneliness by listening to sad songs (‘Kid Cudi - Day n Nite’ specifically) I would sit on the floor as well and depending on how severe the loneliness is, I would cry. It helps me get through it temporarily. I keep myself busy by playing a fun video game, watching funny YouTube videos or watching Latina porn. But porn is not good as a coping mechanism as it can start a vicious cycle and become a habit.

Also realise that it’s totally normal to feel this feeling because we are social creatures. It will eventually go away, the more you think about it the worse it becomes. If people don’t want to be friends with you for who you are then forget about them.

Anyway I hope this helps. Goodbye.

 

[pineman93]

Thanks for the advice

 

[pineman93]

^ I totally agree with this post. It's so much nicer befriending people on the spectrum, or even those with intellectual or other developmental disabilities.

I think this as well you be able to understand each other a little bit better

 

[pineman93]

I deal with loneliness by listening to sad songs (‘Kid Cudi - Day n Nite’ specifically) I would sit on the floor as well and depending on how severe the loneliness is, I would cry. It helps me get through it temporarily. I keep myself busy by playing a fun video game, watching funny YouTube videos or watching Latina porn. But porn is not good as a coping mechanism as it can start a vicious cycle and become a habit.

Also realise that it’s totally normal to feel this feeling because we are social creatures. It will eventually go away, the more you think about it the worse it becomes. If people don’t want to be friends with you for who you are then forget them.

Anyway I hope this helps. Goodbye.

Yea playing video games a watching youtube helps too but after a while the feeling comes back

 

[kityoume]

Usually I communicate with people on the Internet or watch series and films, also videos on YouTube. I try to meet people somewhere, but I don’t expect too much from it, it’s just a way of leisure.

 

[kityoume]

You can try to find connections based on your interests, such as finding someone to play video games with