How to drop being an obsessive consumer?

[Metalhead]

I am in a house surrounded by possessions, most of which gather dust. They are all neatly placed on shelves. The thrill of a new acquisition always sucks me in. I feel as if the possessions might be worth more than I am.

This is consumer culture, and I want out of it.

 

[Misery]

Honestly, I'd suggest just trying to spend some extra time getting, well, time out of the things you do already have.

I've been doing this recently with games on Steam. At some point something just "clicked" for me, and suddenly I went "wait, WHY am I buying these but not REALLY playing them? What's the point of buying a game with 50 hours of content if I only play it for 30 minutes before grabbing something else?" and after that little revelation, I've mostly stopped doing that. I've been playing much more of my backlog, and I'll only buy something if it looks like I'll *really* get into it. Heck, the last 3-4 big sales or so, I didnt buy *anything* at all. Almost unheard of for Steam.

Same for my other hobbies. Like, board games, there's a notorious trend for a lot of people to have a "shelf of shame" which is like a Steam backlog except way, way more rediculous because those unplayed (often still shrink-wrapped!) games take up A LOT of space. I fortunately decided to make sure to do things differently BEFORE ever reaching that point. I tend to get a game that has expansions and is designed for the long haul, and then focus a lot on that... so I dont have or buy NEARLY as much stuff yet still get the same amount of enjoyment. Moreso, really, since I can get DEEP into the games I have.

In other words... when you are feeling the urge to get that "thrill" of a buy, go to the stuff you do have and get a different thrill from them. And on the occasion you DO go buy something... make sure it's something that will keep giving you that thrill on an extended basis.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Consumerism is a quick thrill. That is what is counted on by our culture.

The things of no immediate use that I purchase is because I have plans for them and a little satisfaction from understanding those posessions when they are temporarily in my custody. My collection of Trilobites from all of the families from the Devonian will go to a college or university. Meanwhile, as I study more about them and how to infer their habits I will carefully review the specimens.

 

[Slim Jim]

Take up being an obsessive anti-consumerist.

Spoiler

Change your values. That's all you can do.

I don't want that expensive new coffee maker, it means absolutely nothing to me.

I dislike shopping. And material objects, I break it, I replace it.

I'm very utilitarian.

But unless you have this natural disposition, I'm not sure you can, just drop it.

It's lifestyle. An addiction.

Like I say, find something else to be obsessed about. That has a stronger pull, tug, on your psyche, your emotions, your energy, your focus. That's all you can do really, switch obsessions, switch the drug.

 

[Slim Jim]

Actually, I believe runaway materialism, to be inhuman. When you care more about the gadget, than the human conditions, sweatshops , that manufactured it. That's when your values become inhuman.

Animals hunt and gather. That's not unique human trait. Our Humanness is not in material acquisition. As all living entities share this basic trait. Basic being key word. Wanting 'stuff'' is very basic. A very basic drive. Humans are more advanced than that. (In theory.) In our potentialities.

 

[SimonSays]

One of the biggest issues is having too much money available to spend.

You have money, you are bored, and you have a habit of window shopping, especially on Amazon, so you buy stuff, because it gives your ego a thrill to acquire more, especially if you haven't bought something new for a while.

But it is the thrill you are looking for not the thing, and that comes about by making the choice to window shop when there is no reason to do so. So you have to change your habits of behaviour. Be happy with what you have. Recycle and re-purpose. Stop looking for dopamine and serotonin fixes from the acquisition of material things. In other words stop being a consumer

It takes discipline because the urge is strong. Everywhere you go, some company is trying to get you to buy something; ads on buses, posters, etc. Even going into a grocery store is designed to tempt you into buying more than you came in for. Most people do exactly that. It takes discipline not to buy something just because you know you can, and practice to break the habits that we are all encouraged to have.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

He who has the most stuff, wins, I have heard.

The problem with the rat race is that we are still rats. There is an old Great Depression saying; “use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.” I still have high quality clothes older than my nephews and nieces. Cooking, I love leftovers and get pretty creative and still have lots of venison in the freezer from last fall. Veggie scraps go into the compost for the garden, as does wood ash from our woodburning stove that reduces our heating bill. I'd go solar, but if I can't amortize the cost over 15 years for a unit that provides a 3 day backup for an all electric house running geothermal, I'm not interested.

I get things for their utility. Approaching this past winter I had a still serviceable 11 year old John Deere sub-compact tractor, an X320. But it was not a good fit for conditions. It was not easy to change out implements (I kept bruising myself) and clearing snow on a sloping driveway it would not make headway, uphill, even with chains, in icy conditions. I got tired of having to drag it back up with my car. I finally got a Kubota and it is superior in near every way that counts for me. Now to make it last!

 

[Raggamuffin]

It'll tie in with your mental health. Excessive spending, issues with impulse control etc. etc.

At the end of the day, purchasing stuff might provide a brief thrill, but it won't fill the void, or help you feel better in yourself.

It serves to distract from the reality that you need to work on your beliefs - as that's what shapes your outlook, perspective and reality.

Ed

 

[Slim Jim]

Just see what happens when the stores are about to run out of toilet paper. Then you see human nature, we climb over our neighbors and step on their children to get it.

That was fear. Fear is a part of human nature, but not the whole story., And certainly not a state to aspire to. Fear = Greed = Aggression. Reverting back to our primitive amygdala driven impulse for survival.

I don't think we are so advanced. But we like to think we are.

We like to think many things. We are advanced, or we are not advanced. What we think determines our values. Has consequences in the real world. Outside of our heads.

Facts remain, we are animals , yes, but more than that, that is indisputable. We are the most complex creature on the planet. So in that sense, we are advanced, relative to all other species. Our cerebral hemisphere, consciousness, is the most advanced. So it's not fantastical to claim that.

What's not advanced is, our unthinking, drive towards "stuff," and more "stuff," operating on that level, our consciousness ,is reduced to that of a wild animal, chewing n a carcass, or some plant, if it's a herbivore.

Yeah, the point is , we are all that and more. We are capable of self awareness, reflection, reasoning, we are capable of being more than that. (In theory) In practice, most people are closer to animals, this is true. We all have addictions, impulses, nobody is perfect, but we have the capacity, to transcend these things. Animals can't. They cannot reflect on their actions, their instincts. The proof of that being, most animals can't even recognize themselves in a mirror.

We have discernment. We can realize what is necessity for survival, and what is frivolous. We don't have to let emotions control us. Especially if they are negative.

Fear, lack, emptyness, boredom, all these things produced dissatisfaction, which leads to consumerism. But it can never be satiated, because it doesn't actually fix the real problem. That's how millionaires, can still commit suicide/self-destruct.

 

[Forest Cat]

That was fear. Fear is a part of human nature, but not the whole story., And certainly not a state to aspire to. Fear = Greed = Aggression. Reverting back to our primitive amygdala driven impulse for survival.



We like to think many things. We are advanced, or we are not advanced. What we think determines our values. Has consequences in the real world. Outside of our heads.

Facts remain, we are animals , yes, but more than that, that is indisputable. We are the most complex creature on the planet. So in that sense, we are advanced, relative to all other species. Our cerebral hemisphere, consciousness, is the most advanced. So it's not fantastical to claim that.

What's not advanced is, our unthinking, drive towards "stuff," and more "stuff," operating on that level, our consciousness ,is reduced to that of a wild animal, chewing n a carcass, or some plant, if it's a herbivore.

Yeah, the point is , we are all that and more. We are capable of self awareness, reflection, reasoning, we are capable of being more than that. (In theory) In practice, most people are closer to animals, this is true. We all have addictions, impulses, nobody is perfect, but we have the capacity, to transcend these things. Animals can't. They cannot reflect on their actions, their instincts. The proof of that being, most animals can't even recognize themselves in a mirror.

We have discernment. We can realize what is necessity for survival, and what is frivolous. We don't have to let emotions control us. Especially if they are negative.

Fear, lack, emptyness, boredom, all these things produced dissatisfaction, which leads to consumerism. But it can never be satiated, because it doesn't actually fix the real problem. That's how millionaires, can still commit suicide/self-destruct.

I think you underestimate animals and overestimate people. People do that all the time, we think we are so smart and great. You say animals can't recognize themselves in a mirror and they can't reflect on their actions, their instincts. That's something people think they know, because they think they are so much smarter than animals. I don't believe that to be true. If the human race was as smart as we like to think we are, the world would be a very differerent place.

 

[Forest Cat]

The problem with the rat race is that we are still rats. There is an old Great Depression saying; “use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.” I still have high quality clothes older than my nephews and nieces. Cooking, I love leftovers and get pretty creative and still have lots of venison in the freezer from last fall. Veggie scraps go into the compost for the garden, as does wood ash from our woodburning stove that reduces our heating bill. I'd go solar, but if I can't amortize the cost over 15 years for a unit that provides a 3 day backup for an all electric house running geothermal, I'm not interested.

I get things for their utility. Approaching this past winter I had a still serviceable 11 year old John Deere sub-compact tractor, an X320. But it was not a good fit for conditions. It was not easy to change out implements (I kept bruising myself) and clearing snow on a sloping driveway it would not make headway, uphill, even with chains, in icy conditions. I got tired of having to drag it back up with my car. I finally got a Kubota and it is superior in near every way that counts for me. Now to make it last!

Yeah most of the time I buy things I need. I bought some new tools and compression tape for water pipes recently, because I need it. And I use things for as long as I can, repairing it if it's possible. But I also bought Wings the DVD box, a sitcom from the 1990s. I don't need that but it makes me happy and I wanted it. And if I can't buy or get things I want that makes me happy, I don't really have a reason to live. We have to live while we can also, so sometimes I splurge on things I don't really need.

But I don't buy a new phone every three months like many are doing now, so that's good. I use my phones until they are trash and stop working.

 

[Slim Jim]

You say animals can't recognize themselves in a mirror and they can't reflect on their actions, their instincts. That's something people think they know, because they think they are so much smarter than animals. I don't believe that to be true.

It's called the Mirror test - Wikipedia

Very few species have passed the MSR test. Species that have include the great apes, a single Asiatic elephant, Rays, dolphins, orcas, the Eurasian magpie, and the cleaner wrasse. A wide range of species has been reported to fail the test, including several species of monkeys, giant pandas, and sea lions

Statistically it's true. We are much smarter than animals. No contest.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I feel as if the possessions might be worth more than I am.

How could a person add worth to himself without adquiring new possessions?

 

[Slim Jim]

How could a person add worth to himself without adquiring new possessions?

Develop a skill.

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your... .khakis." - Tyler Durden

Yeah, you are not actually any of these things. They are not a part of you. If your car breaks down, doesn't mean you have to breakdown too, or cry about it. These are just things. You are not your 'Stuff.'

 

[Aspychata]

First don't beat yourself up. Sometimes we are just filling our hole of feeling empty. Impulse buying use to be my answer when l felt l had no control in my life. It's really the same as impulsive eating. Which l can do when l am upset about things but can't do anything. Some people smoke or drink, again, covering feeling helpless or anger towards situations we can't change. So we keeping buying something new, it helps l guess but soon, l find it doesn't help anymore. And it's just us and those ugly feelings we need to dissect about our moms, our employer, our general unhappiness.

When l purchase something, l just ask myself, is this purchase a cover up of my feelings l am not acknowledging? Sometimes it is, and l buy it. Lol. But maybe this will help you be more accountable to yourself? New purchases are a dopamine hit and l Had the credit card bill to prove it. But l no longer have that card. I am happy to say l paid it off. My new dopamine hit is having no credit card debit. Maybe readjust what makes you happy? It seems to me telling your mom your boundaries now is helping. Maybe buying games isn't filling the hole anymore? Finding peace and not allowing toxic people to manipulate you is your new gaming choice?

 

[Darkkin]

We keep an active donation basket that gets taken to charity once a month. And I keep a basket of books for distribution among the leave and take libraries around my area. Rue and I make book stops pretty regularly. Even the pet toys get sorted through every six months. If it isn't played with, it gets donated to the shelter.

While yes, we do have things come in, we have more that goes out. Streaming services have also reduced the amount of media clutter we have, too. My books are my one real indulgence and I've had to teach myself to curate.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

How could a person add worth to himself without adquiring new possessions?

Oh, I see that in spades where I live; people acquiring hot cars as status markers without the skills to drive them. When I had some money that would not be missed I bought a used 2001Toyota MR2. I wrench it myself and am as happy as a clam flogging it on track days while others show off their flashy cars in traffic.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

We keep an active donation basket that gets taken to charity once a month. And I keep a basket of books for distribution among the leave and take libraries around my area. Rue and I make book stops pretty regularly. Even the pet toys get sorted through every six months. If it isn't played with, it gets donated to the shelter.

While yes, we do have things come in, we have more that goes out. Streaming services have also reduced the amount of media clutter we have, too. My books are my one real indulgence and I've had to teach myself to curate.

Books are not indulgences. They are the stuff of life.

 

[Tom]

I am in a house surrounded by possessions, most of which gather dust. They are all neatly placed on shelves. The thrill of a new acquisition always sucks me in. I feel as if the possessions might be worth more than I am.

This is consumer culture, and I want out of it.

Possesions is a broad term. I am assuming you don't mean the refrigerator, bed, car, etc.

What type of possesions are you talking about?

 

[Aspychata]

Books are not indulgences. They are the stuff of life.

Show me a cookbook l don't love. Lol