Something05
New Member
I don’t really have any interests, no strong ones anyway, this makes it harder for me to make friends. How do I become “interested” in something?
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How to get an “interest”
- Thread starter Something05
- Start date
What kind of stuff did you find interesting or fun when you was a kid?
You live in a very large, very diverse and very free country. There's so much going on here that it's almost impossible to not find an interest, unless....
Ditch the phone, dump the social media, go out and talk to real people in the real world.
You'll be surprised at just how diverse our world really is, how many different lifestyles there are, how many different things there are to do. You don't "find" an interest, you expose yourself to many different aspects of life and interests will find you. Go to your local pub and talk to people, you don't have to become their best mates, just explore the world you live in and find out what sorts of things interest other people, you'll find a lot more out there than just football and cricket.
Ditch the phone, dump the social media, go out and talk to real people in the real world.
You'll be surprised at just how diverse our world really is, how many different lifestyles there are, how many different things there are to do. You don't "find" an interest, you expose yourself to many different aspects of life and interests will find you. Go to your local pub and talk to people, you don't have to become their best mates, just explore the world you live in and find out what sorts of things interest other people, you'll find a lot more out there than just football and cricket.
.)Something05
New Member
Well, I’ve always liked drawing I suppose, though I don’t think I could join an art community or anything like that, unless I decided to improve my art skills. I also had interests in certain games or shows or such at certain points.
That might be good advice for a lot of people, but for my specific situation, combined with my personality, I don’t know if that quite works for me.
Something05
New Member
I probably should have said this to begin with. I think part of the reason I’m not particularly interested in anything is because I’ve become more pessimistic and bitter, due to my social isolation, as well as some other stuff in my life. It’s hard for me to get really excited about anything.
This is classic clinical depression. Many of us go through it from time to time, don't go looking for drugs to cure it because they are of no help at all. The only way it will change is if you step outside of your comfort zone and force change, no drug can fix it for you, the government can't fix it for you, no one can fix it for you. Only you can fix it.
The first step is to start removing depressing influences from your life. The absolute worst influence for this is all the click bait videos on social media, remove them from your life.
What music you choose to listen to also has a profound effect, stop listening to mournful miseryguts music that increases your depression.
What movies you watch, which news services you watch, they all have a huge effect on your life. Start being a lot more selective about what you watch and what you listen to, and avoid manic depressive people that are always whingeing and whining, they'll bring you down too.
You only get one chance at life, and as you get older you'll realise just how short life really is. Go out and start living it before it's too late.
Do you want to try talking to me in PM? Today i feel more happy to talk to people. You are the second person i contact today and by far most of my life.
Because if we call it ASD, i'm busy not getting friends. Because I don't trust people. But you are fresh, and I'd like to know you. If we don't like eachother you can reject my friendship. And if i don't like you, i may aswel reject your friendship.
But i'm looking forward to see if we can enjoy eachothers presence.
Kindly
- Mustafa
Keep exposing yourself to new things. If you take chances and try different things, you are bound to find something that draws in your attention.
If depression and isolation are driving your lack of interests, the same advice might help with those things, too. It's a tough place to be in, no doubt, but if you can take some small steps to expose yourself to new things, you will likely naturally become less depressed and less isolated. Some interests involve an online or real life community and engaging in interesting activities stimulates a depressed mind.
Approach life wide eyed and open minded and it is likely to fascinate you.
I think I understand. I get into that mood from time to time. My main recommendation would be to try to change your situation without forcing it. If it's isolation, then try slowly to to become less isolated. I know, I know. I'm telling you the obvious but many times to obvious solution is the one we don't do. Interest will come back when you are in a better place.
I think I am very passionate about my interests, and in my case I do think they get in the way of friendships... for example I have an interest in movies so someone asked me what is my favorite movie... So I started to list my top 50 favorite movies, I was not just listing them but also giving trivia about each one... to keep it interesting... when I was about 5 movies into my list, this person interrupted to say something like "I just guessed that your favorite movie was Forrest Gump"... I though this was a funny joke, I can kinda see why he though this... so anyway I continue with my list, but about some 5 to 10 more movies in... he just walked away without saying any word... from this experience I think I should just mention the top 3 and not the top 50... maybe that works better next time... ?
All of this to say that I find it interesting that you think that having interests will help you making friends... and kinda funny that someones suggestion is to use your friends to develop the interests... LOL.
I do have an interest on design, I recently started a blog about this topic... in a way I use it as a bit of motivation to learn more about Autism... because as I search for the designs for the blog I am also reading and learning new things... you can check my blog if you like:
The very strange world of autism and graphic design.
When I research the topic of autism I usually find this very strange looking images that mostly just confuse me... so I have decided to document them, because I don't know why.
- 717
- Updated
- Blog entries: 21
Latest entry:
The Curious Link Between Autism and Learning Difficulties,
This being my most recent interest... the graphic design language of the autistic culture... I can tell you how I become interested on this... I would research the topic of autism and often see this graphic media... creations... so as I started to notice them I started to seek them and now I am documenting them. I dont think doing this will help me make any friends... so there is that...
I think special interests are developed more in an organic way... you find something that you find interesting, and then you try to learn more about it.
I also think that if the goal is to make friends... then you should try a different approach... but I am not that good at making friends so I dont really know...
One good way to follow Outdated’s advice is to volunteer at something. Anything. This is the best way I know to get out of your own head and get into the world.
Something05
New Member
That’s probably a good idea, ill look for volunteer work near my area.
Being retired in a small community and one gets roped into contributing. I am on our township's planning commission for zoning, I've been our election chair, and have contributed to a group looking for cost effective employee housing. (We used the limited equity cooperative model.)
Dagan
Well-Known Member
One of the best things that I have ever done when in a real hole, if you will, is that I went to a pretty sizable science and history museum. Not everything there was my cup of tea, but a good bit of it woke me up and got me inspired to do more. Something like that, maybe?
Of note: This might also be overwhelming or overstimulating, too, so do know that. Such a place has a lot going on and sometimes have it crammed together. If you can handle it, though, definitely think about it as an option.
Of note: This might also be overwhelming or overstimulating, too, so do know that. Such a place has a lot going on and sometimes have it crammed together. If you can handle it, though, definitely think about it as an option.
I was fortunate that I had parents and other adults who fed my interests in the sciences and in Paleontology. I had people take me under their wing and get me out fossil collecting. I started at 10 and still love getting out. Later this year, I will be getting to Delta, Utah, for Trilobites and then on my way back home going to stop in Kemmerer, Wyoming, for Eocene fish fossils. I'd give anything to find a fossil of a sting ray, but most likely only find herring. I need to order some very thin shale chisels.
