How To Respect Others

[KevinMao133]

I have a hard time respecting other people, women especially

I don’t know how I developed the feeling of disdain, but I don’t like women, especially those who are my age

For some reason women over 30 really appeals me, as I find them attractive

I would love to respect others, especially women, but I can’t

don’t know if I can ever achieve that goal

 

[Darkkin]

The only person who can fix a contemptous mindset is you. And only through conscious effort, choices, and actions on your part. Treat others as less and often they are more than happy to show you exactly how it feels. It isn't right, but there will be those who argue that it is fair and we reap what we sow. It doesn't take much to be a decent human.

 

[LadyS]

Maybe it would help to identify what it is about women you disdain? Sometimes also past trauma with certain people influences our current points of view...

 

[Neonatal RRT]

There are a lot of women out there. Given the feelings behind your statements, you have had some bad experiences with or do not understand their behaviors. However, instead of exacting these thoughts on an entire group, you might be overlooking some geniunly nice people, you may be better off not passing judgements until you've had some time to get to know a person.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes l have come across as disrespectful but often l am responding to environmental factors so l am working hard to change this by not initiating conversation with such people that accused me of such. I try to learn to keep to myself which is way safer. The one person that's close to me, they don't pass judgment on me or try to change me.

Perhaps stay away from that age group that bothers you. A lot of younger men prey on older woman in my state. It's an epidemic number of such probably due to this state being so costly to live in.. So l feel extremely uncomfortable with them having bad experiences to go off of.

 

[Thinx]

This may come from bad experiences in your past, I guess, as has been said. But in the end, what you are settling for here is having a prejudice against nearly half the people in the world. It is a lot of work for you, and probably based on a few bad examples. I believe you can think this through better.

 

[Kalinychta]

Well, judging by your other posts, I’m guessing you don’t “respect” women because you’re sexually frustrated—and you blame women for it.

 

[KevinMao133]

Well, judging by your other posts, I’m guessing you don’t “respect” women because you’re sexually frustrated—and you blame women for it.

i saw what you said in my post about missing the past. You don’t just tell someone to drop their attitude and open their eyes, not me. I been locked up, I been suspended. Five school in four years. I been through it all. You tell me if you been through it or nah. You have no right to talk, I do since I know what I’m saying. I seen the dark side of society

 

[Darkkin]

You have no right to talk, I do

Telling another they have no right to speak, to have a thought, an opinion. That is a contempt for more than just women. That speaks of a contempt for the lives of all others. Want to change it? Start by STOPPING this sort of thing.

No one has the power to take away the freedom of others. This includes free speech and autonomy of thought, whether you like the opinion or not. The world is not going to walk on eggshells to accomadate anyone. Treat others with contempt and it will come back to roost in a major way.

Stripping the rights of others because they don't agree with one's opinion is how people dehumanize others it is a bad road to go down. It is the root of bullying, persecution, victimization, and irrational justification of inhumane behaviour.

 

[Thinx]

Telling another they have no right to speak, to have a thought, an opinion. That is a contempt for more than just women. That speaks of a contempt for the lives of all others. Want to change it? Start by STOPPING this sort of thing.

No one has the power to take away the freedom of others. This includes free speech and autonomy of thought, whether you like the opinion or not. The world is not going to walk on eggshells to accomadate anyone. Treat others with contempt and it will come back to roost in a major way.

Stripping the rights of others because they don't agree with one's opinion is how people dehumanize others it is a bad road to go down. It is the root of bullying, persecution, victimization, and irrational justification of inhumane behaviour.

OK, but on the other hand, @Kalyntcha was very blunt and somewhat provocative in her statement, and that is what the OP is pointing out. We all need feedback sometimes, and it is by no means the first time I have seen this type of blunt comment from @Kalyntcha. We have to take feedback if we want to dole it out to others.

Let's not oversimplify everything into, you are wrong and I or we are right. All of us form our styles and opinions over time and through experiences. These will not be easily or quickly changeable for either @Kalyntcha or the OP. Or any of us.

The OP is on a learning curve. He raised the issue himself, meaning he sees a problem and is wrestling with it. A slick put down is not helpful, but I expect @Kalyntcha was triggered. Then the OP got triggered. It's still a worthwhile topic for the OP to reflect on, and he has done well to see this in himself. Good job.

 

[KevinMao133]

OK, but on the other hand, @Kalyntcha was very blunt and somewhat provocative in her statement, and that is what the OP is pointing out. We all need feedback sometimes, and it is by no means the first time I have seen this type of blunt comment from @Kalyntcha. We have to take feedback if we want to dole it out to others.

Let's not oversimplify everything into, you are wrong and I or we are right. All of us form our styles and opinions over time and through experiences. These will not be easily or quickly changeable for either @Kalyntcha or the OP. Or any of us.

The OP is on a learning curve. He raised the issue himself, meaning he sees a problem and is wrestling with it. A slick put down is not helpful, but I expect @Kalyntcha was triggered. Then the OP got triggered. It's still a worthwhile topic for the OP to reflect on, and he has done well to see this in himself. Good job.

serious talk though, that’s why I made the post. I genuinely want to do better. I’m letting past go. Reading books about friendship recently. Acting much nicer as of late

 

[Darkkin]

Tolerance might be the word needed. On both sides.

Impulse control plays a huge role in this sort of thing and it is something a majority of autistics, ( NDers as a whole), struggle with. (Myself included. People telling others they have no right to the most basic level of consciousness (thought and opinion) is minimizing in the extreme). (I might also be guilty of reading and watching Matilda way too much growing up. The Trenchbull litany of I'm big and you're small...)


It is something that needs to be addressed on a cognitive level. Proactively and consciously. And it can be a very tough habit to change because habits are easy and familiar. Akin to walking on a plowed road when you still need to shovel the driveway to reach your door.

Acknowledging the issue (behaviour) takes conscious effort. And there are plenty of people who will go through life who will never admit that their behaviour is a contributing factor to a problem.