Liambruno
Member
Hi everybody, the thing at the top of the page told me to introduce myself. Yes, I'm that malleable. Got a bridge to sell me? 
I'm in a very weird place right now because I was just handed a diagnosis of mild ASD, basically the former Asperger's phenotype. Ironic, because exactly thirty years ago I was assessed at a comprehensive psychiatric clinic and they told my parents that there was "nothing wrong" with me.
BTW I hate, hate that idea of wrongness in Asperger's. I realize that there are some impairments, sometimes serious ones, associated with autism. I'm also becoming more aware of the ones that affect me, and of my own ability to ignore or compensate for problem areas.
Until now I've thought of myself as a typical guy. You know, a guy who has one friend at a time, who can't go out with friends or even close relatives on any activity that isn't scheduled a week out, who doesn't spontaneously do unexpected nice things for his wife (unless it's for a purpose, usually to make her feel better when she's upset--I do try, mind you), and who didn't even know what color her eyes were until it was brought to his attention that he didn't know. Oh, also the typical kind of guy who, thanks to poor concentration, takes eight hours at the office to do roughly an hour's worth of work, but could spend the same eight hours organizing his MP3 collection and forget to eat, shower, or even dress (if I'm wearing flannel pants and a t-shirt, doesn't that count as dressed?)
You know, just a regular guy. How did I not pick up on this earlier? Maybe I had just accepted the level of functioning that I had attained. I was working, happily married, had two wonderful children, and...well, all that other stuff was just gaps I'd learn later, when I grew up. Except I was grown up; I was now an adult who still followed thought patterns similar to those he did at age six--"when I grow up, I'll do ____." So if I hadn't learned it, whatever "it" was, hope was fading.
But now here we are. I'm not exactly elated to be labeled as autistic, but I'm relieved. I feel similar to someone whose car has a horrible idle, a temperamental throttle, dodgy and difficult steering, and no cargo room, when he realizes that he's sitting in a formula 1 racer and he's trying to drive it like a pickup. I'm hoping this marks a turning point, both personally and professionally.
I'm in a very weird place right now because I was just handed a diagnosis of mild ASD, basically the former Asperger's phenotype. Ironic, because exactly thirty years ago I was assessed at a comprehensive psychiatric clinic and they told my parents that there was "nothing wrong" with me.
BTW I hate, hate that idea of wrongness in Asperger's. I realize that there are some impairments, sometimes serious ones, associated with autism. I'm also becoming more aware of the ones that affect me, and of my own ability to ignore or compensate for problem areas.
Until now I've thought of myself as a typical guy. You know, a guy who has one friend at a time, who can't go out with friends or even close relatives on any activity that isn't scheduled a week out, who doesn't spontaneously do unexpected nice things for his wife (unless it's for a purpose, usually to make her feel better when she's upset--I do try, mind you), and who didn't even know what color her eyes were until it was brought to his attention that he didn't know. Oh, also the typical kind of guy who, thanks to poor concentration, takes eight hours at the office to do roughly an hour's worth of work, but could spend the same eight hours organizing his MP3 collection and forget to eat, shower, or even dress (if I'm wearing flannel pants and a t-shirt, doesn't that count as dressed?)
You know, just a regular guy. How did I not pick up on this earlier? Maybe I had just accepted the level of functioning that I had attained. I was working, happily married, had two wonderful children, and...well, all that other stuff was just gaps I'd learn later, when I grew up. Except I was grown up; I was now an adult who still followed thought patterns similar to those he did at age six--"when I grow up, I'll do ____." So if I hadn't learned it, whatever "it" was, hope was fading.
But now here we are. I'm not exactly elated to be labeled as autistic, but I'm relieved. I feel similar to someone whose car has a horrible idle, a temperamental throttle, dodgy and difficult steering, and no cargo room, when he realizes that he's sitting in a formula 1 racer and he's trying to drive it like a pickup. I'm hoping this marks a turning point, both personally and professionally.
