Humor Fails...

[Crossbreed]

"Death is easy. Comedy is hard." -Edmund Gwenn (on his deathbed, 1959)
"Boy, when you die at the Palace, you really die at the Palace...!" -Comicus; History of the World, Part I (1981)

Too often, I will have a thought that I consider to be funny, but when I try it out, it goes over like a lead balloon. I started this thread for us to share such humor faux pas (but please keep it PG-13).
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One of my sons had to do a multimedia presentation about WWII in high school. He chose the paratroopers at Normandy. He liked my suggestion for musical accompaniment for his historical footage of their deployment, but it didn't sit well with his teacher or the rest of the class.

My suggestion? It's Raining Men...!

 

[Crossbreed]

I was touring a nearby paper mill as part of a job interview. While in the basement, I noticed a darkened office which had a sign posted, "Welcome to the Dark Side."

I asked, "What is this place?"

"At one time, our instrumentation techs (my field) and our electricians used to maintain a friendly rivalry, and two separate shops. This was the electricians' shop."

Noting all of the emphasis on darkness, I quipped, "They must not have been very good electricians...

"

(I did not get a return engagement...)

 

[Judge]

Humor applied to complete strangers when you're perceived as the "new guy" ?

Epic fail. No matter how funny you actually are. In their case, humor exhibited as a potentially probationary employee may have come as a complete shock to them.

Reminds me of when I applied for a job at a zoo working in their aviary. Apparently some of my comments ruffled a few feathers. Go figure. Rim shot, anyone?

Job interviews. Even funnier when they expect you to project confidence while kowtowing to the martinet who is interviewing you.

 

[Guppyfry]

Hahaha! Our company was "sold" to another company, so here I was doing the same job I have always been doing, but for a new boss. I noticed a TON of typos and errors in the new company paper-work (errors that are common and easy to make, like writing 147 instead of 174, etc), diligently fixed them all, then joked to my new boss about him being a closet dyslexic.

He just got very quiet, and walked away.

Oh oh!

 

[Crossbreed]

Humor applied to complete strangers when you're perceived as the "new guy" ?

Epic fail. No matter how funny you actually are. In their case, humor exhibited as a potentially probationary employee may have come as a complete shock to them.

Over the years, I've learned to give just a glimpse of my "real" self in order to test the waters on what to expect if I actually worked there. I can rope it in, but I'm not very good at keeping the closet door completely shut.

 

[Crossbreed]

...while kowtowing to the martinet...

Martinet? Bird, or style of interviewer?

 

[Judge]

Martinet? Bird, or style of interviewer?

Style of interviewer with strict protocols whether they work or make any sense.

 

[Crossbreed]

Was that really at a zoo/aviary, or was that a set-up line?

 

[Judge]

Was that really at a zoo/aviary, or was that a set-up line?

A setup line to accommodate your thread.

 

[Crossbreed]

He just got very quiet, and walked away.

Oh oh!

(And Happy Birthday!)

 

[Crossbreed]

A setup line to accommodate your thread.

A good one! Here is your

 

[Judge]

The again there are worse places to work I suppose. With far less humor.

or

 

[Crossbreed]

The again there are worse places to work I suppose. With far less humor.

...

That reminds me of an [old] joke.

"I've got some good news and some bad news."
"What's the good news?"
"Double rations today for everybody!" (the crew cheers)
"What's the bad news?"
"The captain wants to go water-skiing..."