I actually feel worse now that I am not drinking.

[Metalhead]

Physically I am getting healthier, but mentally I am actually feeling everything I was avoiding by consuming tons of beer. I know the only way out is through. Maybe I should replace the beer with a healthier addiction, like exercise, caffeine or video gaming.

I feel isolated on weekends due to there being no public transit here at that time. Maybe I should budget for an Uber ride to some local meetups once I get my finances under control. Or maybe I should invest in a moped to get around town easier.

In any case, I know my biggest issue these days is general isolation, which is not helping my recovery from multiple addictions.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

If your legs are ok, you may try running. I cant do it now, but it was really adictive. Grass or earth better than asphalt.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Or maybe I should invest in a moped to get around town easier.

Before you consider motorized transportation, can you handle the flood of data, focused on your safety so that everything else is nearly automatic; throttle, clutch, shifting, front and rear braking? If so, or even if you get a scooter, I would recommend taking a local Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF) course which usually goes from Friday evening through Sunday afternoon. With lots of time on 250cc bikes. It is the best $20 I ever spent and at age 58 I got my first motorcycle, a Kawasaki Vulcan 900 LT. A month later and I was taking my first long distance trip to the West.

Scooters are good if you understand the inherent issue with stability. Bikes, and motorcycles get more gyroscopic stability the more mass that is further away from the axis. Scooters generally have small wheels. And, if you take the MSF course, you will learn about countersteering machines with larger, more massive, tires. If you pass the test on Sunday you will not have to take a test at the DMV for your motorcycle endorsement.

 

[Metalhead]

Before you consider motorized transportation, can you handle the flood of data, focused on your safety so that everything else is nearly automatic; throttle, clutch, shifting, front and rear braking? If so, or even if you get a scooter, I would recommend taking a local Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF) course which usually goes from Friday evening through Sunday afternoon. With lots of time on 250cc bikes. It is the best $20 I ever spent and at age 58 I got my first motorcycle, a Kawasaki Vulcan 900 LT. A month later and I was taking my first long distance trip to the West.

Scooters are good if you understand the inherent issue with stability. Bikes, and motorcycles get more gyroscopic stability the more mass that is further away from the axis. Scooters generally have small wheels. And, if you take the MSF course, you will learn about countersteering machines with larger, more massive, tires. If you pass the test on Sunday you will not have to take a test at the DMV for your motorcycle endorsement.

Thanks for the info. Yeah, I really do need to work on something like this in order to get around easier on the weekends. I have to think of solutions instead of zeroing in on the problems.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Thanks for the info. Yeah, I really do need to work on something like this in order to get around easier on the weekends. I have to think of solutions instead of zeroing in on the problems.

I don't know your climate, and there are pros and cons of options other than cars. How are you bicycling? e-bikes are slowly becoming more affordable as are tadpole trikes if you would rather be on three, rather than two, wheels. Still, pricy, though.

 

[Callistemon]

For the human mind it is always easier to have something to do instead, rather than just not doing something it was used to doing. So is there a habit/habits you can get into every time your brain says, "A beer would be good right now"?

Preferably one that moves your body, because exercise changes your biochemistry and gives you nice endorphins, on top of improved fitness.

For rainy days, I wonder if one can hook up a gaming console to treadle power so you have to pedal to play? It's been done with washing machines etc.

Finding nice companionship maybe around a hobby or activity would address the need for society. Do you like to sing? There's nice community choirs around the place, where I live they even have a sea shanty group. Scottish highland dancing was fun and hilarious even though dancing is not my strong suit, but it just was so energising and amusing, with the music and moves like the "teapot" and all ages joining in. Photography groups? Martial arts? Hiking groups? Community garden? You can dip your toes even into things you have never done before or think sound completely crazy and you don't have to go back if you don't like it! It can be invigorating to do something totally new.

 

[Callistemon]

...and you could even send us little reviews of different new things you tried. Maybe through a comedy lens. Would be really entertaining for us! And get us thinking and talking too!

 

[Metalhead]

...and you could even send us little reviews of different new things you tried. Maybe through a comedy lens. Would be really entertaining for us! And get us thinking and talking too!

That actually is a great idea.

 

[Callistemon]

Oh great! You can take us along for the ride and make us laugh etc.

 

[Bolletje]

I’m not experiencing your pain first hand, but my partner is going through something similar. I really feel for you.

My partner has stopped for short periods of time, but found that he couldn’t control his drinking when he allowed it again, so now he’s made a resolution to stop drinking for at least a year. At first, stopping drinking for a short period of just made his life feel dull and uninteresting. He also avoided hanging out with people, because all of his friends are heavy drinkers and that triggers him immensely. He’s been dealing with depression because without the drink, nothing really gives him pleasure. He knows he needs to find something new to get his endorphins, but so far his brain refuses to give them to him.

During his sober months he didn’t struggle that much, because he knew the reward of another drink was waiting for him at the end of the month. Now that he’s facing a long period (and possibly a lifetime) of sobriety, he’s dealing with existential dread. He has been an alcoholic for so long, he worries about what remains of him without alcohol. He’s not sure he likes who he is sober. He worries I will leave him because I won’t like who he is sober. And because he’s always used alcohol to mask and function socially, he worries he’s not going to be able to have a social life (or a job) without drinking.

Its heartbreaking to see up close. I try to help him, but there’s only so much I can do. We’ve been going on walks together, I try to get him to work out with me (but he doesn’t really feel like doing that now) and we’ve made a list of hobbies he previously enjoyed that don’t involve alcohol. Which is tricky, because he’s intermingled all his hobbies with alcohol for the last 20 years. For now he’s settled on cooking and reading. Next up: making music.

Sorry, I don’t want to make this all about me/him. I just want to share, because your story really resonates with me.

Is it possible for you to make a list of things you previously enjoyed doing, and try them to see if it works now? When I quit drinking and smoking I would fight off the weekend isolation by going through music reviews and listening to each reviewed album. I have a subscription to a music magazine and due to my depression I had two years of unread magazines lying around

If you have a backlog of video games, you could try that and write some short reviews for us?

 

[Sarah S]

Physically I am getting healthier, but mentally I am actually feeling everything I was avoiding by consuming tons of beer. I know the only way out is through. Maybe I should replace the beer with a healthier addiction, like exercise, caffeine or video gaming.

I feel isolated on weekends due to there being no public transit here at that time. Maybe I should budget for an Uber ride to some local meetups once I get my finances under control. Or maybe I should invest in a moped to get around town easier.

In any case, I know my biggest issue these days is general isolation, which is not helping my recovery from multiple addictions.

What the beer and or booze & or etc... Doing is numbing your inner feelings for that particular short time. The problem is as you have seen the effect is short, so you need to drink more to continue. It's NOT a long-term solution nor a good way to deal with this either.

The worst enemy for us with psychological issues (incl diagnosis) is down time or inactivity as this will give our brain time to think and we start to get all kind of bad ideas or feelings.

So, what you need to do is try to find something to keep busy every day. something you enjoy like a hobby or perhaps a tripp somewhere (if and of course according to your financial means) But yes you need to get out from your home in one way or another sometimes.

And obviously if you haven't already you should try to locate and join support groups for those addictions you seem to have as in there you will find the comradery and support from others that are also struggling with this.

Trying to stop whatever addictions is not a quick nor easy road to take and there is no shame in accepting you need help and support to do this BUT you CAN do this, but it will take a lot of hard work and dedication and most often support from others in the same situation as you to get this done. And then even after it takes strength and dedication to stay clean and or sober for the rest of, your life.

 

[Streetwise]

If your legs are ok, you may try running. I cant do it now, but it was really adictive. Grass or earth better than asphalt.

For anyone walking slowly is the best exercise

 

[maycontainthunder]

Metalhead, if you are interested in getting a bike some advice;
Do all your braking BEFORE entering a corner.
Practice emergency stops by NOT grabbing a handful of front brake; you lock that you're going to fall off.
Don't rely on your mirrors, look over your shoulder.

There are literally hundreds of videos of novice people giving a twist'n'go scooter too much throttle and partly falling off and getting dragged some distance before they finish falling off. This is where something with a clutch has a major advantage.

 

[Judge]

Hope you're getting some professional medical guidance when it comes to a serious and strategic withdrawal from alcohol. A process that may take more than just personal determination.

My cousin's ex-husband (an alcoholic) tried to go "cold turkey" and for all his personal determination and hubris, the withdrawal itself literally killed him attempting to do it all on his own. He was way over his head and yet didn't have a clue of the risks involved.

 

[Streetwise]

Hope you're getting some professional medical guidance when it comes to a serious and strategic withdrawal from alcohol. A process that may take more than just personal determination.

My cousin's ex-husband (an alcoholic) tried to go "cold turkey" and for all his personal determination and hubris, the withdrawal itself literally killed him attempting to do it all on his own. He was way over his head and yet didn't have a clue of the risks involved.

Coming off any mind altering substance needs serious help ^-^ boy do I know