I am a docent at a local nature center...

[Au Naturel]

Very strange situation. We had a meeting last week and toured the park to see the things that had been updated since it was partially closed and the docenting was shut down due to COVID. The guy who was the head docent insisted a couple of times that I wasn’t a docent there. The second time was with some vigor and hostility.

The other docents were kind of confused because I’d been with them for the class. One woman said I was the one who kept making “smart observations.” Finally, he said he recognized me and said he thought I was someone else because I looked like this guy he really disliked. Sort of apologized. Everything was "sort of" OK after that but I have my doubts as to whether I want to stay on.

I have a lifetime of being the guy who didn’t get the memo. If someone’s paperwork gets messed up or their invitation is forgotten, it is always mine. I don’t make it onto the mailing lists and word of mouth never gets to me. The shop or class or groups will be all abuzz with some kind of information but I never hear it. I must be insanely forgettable.

I know I am obtuse in social situations, I don’t get when I’ve crossed a line, and I don’t pick up on people’s opinion of me unless it gets thrown in my face. I do not “mingle” well. Social faux pas are a way of life with me. I believe this is the curse of Asperger’s. It is a pattern I have lived with my entire life.

It is what it is... perhaps time to move on.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Oh no sweety he was being a jerk on purpose, just to be mean. Because he sucks. You did nothing wrong. Compassion blinds you to acts of malice. Dr docent the douchebag was doing a drama queen thing to stir the pot, because that's what he likes to eat, turdburger surprise.

It's not you at all. Honest. Dude is being provocative and weird to get attention. Next will come the " how great am I let me tell you..." stories or some other typical abuser bs.

 

[GadAbout]

Oh no sweety he was being a jerk on purpose, just to be mean. Because he sucks. You did nothing wrong. Compassion blinds you to acts of malice. Dr docent the douchebag was doing a drama queen thing to stir the pot, because that's what he likes to eat, turdburger surprise.

It's not you at all. Honest. Dude is being provocative and weird to get attention. Next will come the " how great am I let me tell you..." stories or some other typical abuser bs.

How do you know this? Are you acquainted with the head docent?

 

[Fino]

Accept the curse; live in joy.

 

[Barymore]

Dont give up something you love doing, if thats the case! People are just such idiots sometimes and I have realised that often times it really has little to do with the person they are aggressing against. Avoid this person as far as possible, do your job and if he says something to you smile and think "what a twat" - someones advice to me and it works! I have such a sense of justice / fairness that I often say something in my defence when I should just shrug it off.

 

[DogzSpirit]

It may be he as his own challenges, potentially Prosopagnosia? I would let it go and assume the experience is behind both of you... If you place yourself in his shoes, he was likely embarrassed after he realized he had made a mistake.

 

[Au Naturel]

Dont give up something you love doing, if thats the case! People are just such idiots sometimes and I have realised that often times it really has little to do with the person they are aggressing against. Avoid this person as far as possible, do your job and if he says something to you smile and think "what a twat" - someones advice to me and it works! I have such a sense of justice / fairness that I often say something in my defence when I should just shrug it off.

As Elsa said, "Let it go."

 

[Martha Ferris]

So many people have issues and they have nothing to do with you. Is he making your life miserable? How important is your position to you? Is there someone over him that you can go to if his behavior continues? Aside from him how happy are you with your position there? How unhappy would you be to leave? All these questions factor into your decision. Often it seems like the jerks are everywhere. You can't change how they behave or how you feel but you can choose what you will do about it. Do what makes you happy.

 

[SusanLR]

@Au Naturel I like the Elsa video.
Unless we are really good at masking, which becomes tiring, it seems others do know we are
different and don't fit the NT social world.
I think we just have to find a way to live with that.

But, the docent job sounds nice, no matter what. I have been told I would have made a good
nature docent also due to my love and knowledge of nature and the animal's ways.
A lot of Aspies have that animal connection that others don't. I think that's a part of our
unique ways that is good.

You might move on and find another place that you like as well, but, the people around you
will probably be mostly the same. As you said, that just seems to be the Aspie way of life.

 

[Pieceofmind]

I didn't even know what a docent was and had to look it up but that sounds really nice! I volunteered a long time ago at a nature center. I know exactly what you're talking about, I am forgotten and rejected by everyone simply because I exist. Sometimes working in retail unfortunately people are just flat out extremely rude up front like I'm an offensive alien or something. I'm not good at masking at all and this is probably why, I don't know how to other than operate at my current functioning baseline at the time. I have interacted with a lot of NT's daily over the years and I've just come to the conclusion that our worlds are so different in functioning and perception that they'll never be able to really understand and some take a lot of offense to you being different especially if your like me and have speech problems with varying severity on different days.

Of course not everyone is an asshole but even with other NT's they just have an extremely difficult time reading my actions, what my words really mean, and emotions. The last 2 are the biggest ones, they draw completely different conclusions from what I say and my emotions that mean something else entirely. Often there is a lot of confused responses and looks. I wish I could understand in reverse completely because that would be really helpful since their communication and emotions confuse me just as much even though I am a super feeler and am very good at reading people up front. I just don't know where it comes from or how the NT brain works besides that interacting with them usually isn't a good time and they're emotions/responses don't make sense sometimes.