I am in a bad way

[Mattymatt]

I've just completed my first month in my new job as a security guard and I am in a bad way mentally. The company I work for promised me a consistent shift of 3pm-11pm and now I am working 2 days a week of 7am-3pm and 2 days a week of 3pm-11pm. This has wrecked havoc with my sleep schedule and has left me irritable and depressed. I am finding myself wondering if this is the best I can hope for for the rest of my life, and if so, what's the use of soldiering on. I am wondering what's the use of even going back to school next year for network engineering when all of my recent employment is menial, low-skill work. Heck, if I was the interviewer I wouldn't hire me.

The thought of donning my uniform and going to work tomorrow only to sit in some ramshackle guard house is enough to kick my anxiety into high gear. I just want to turn in my uniforms and do something else. But it seems like no matter what I do, I am going to find some sort of difficulty with it and won't be able to do it. I could give 2 week's notice but there's no point in doing that because I have nothing else to turn to. I feel like refusing to work this schedule and asking to be placed at site with a consistent schedule.

Last night I felt so burnt out that I felt I needed to go out and have a good time so I walked to the bar and drank too much. It was a dumb move, but whatever, I needed the release. At least I walked (albeit stumbled) back home.

 

[TheFreeCat]

America is getting to be a very hard place to live in if you are not well off. The suicide rate is the highest it's been in decades and the life expectancy is dropping again. People are without hope. I wish I had some happy words for you.

 

[Mattymatt]

America is getting to be a very hard place to live in if you are not well off. The suicide rate is the highest it's been in decades and the life expectancy is dropping again. People are without hope. I wish I had some happy words for you.

I am certainly losing hope.

 

[tree]

@Mattymatt
When was the last time you spoke with the person in charge of scheduling?

 

[Pats]

I would try to talk to them and just tell them the reason you took the job was because of the shift and you just can not work the morning shift. Tell them it interferes with your 'meals on wheels' delivery or make something up.
When I worked night shift I would never change my shift - 6 p.m. to 7 a.m. and that was it. Once, as a punishment, and, yes, it was clear it was meant to be my punishment, I had to work a weekend day shift.
I was miserable and it was actually unsafe and I told my boss not to do it again because it was an unsafe practice (I could have easily given wrong meds or anything).
But maybe I did have that one coming. Over the holidays - Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, everyone had to work 2. I was down to work all 3 and our night supervisor was not down to work any. I pointed it out to her and she said, "Oh, I'll be working." And I'm like, no, you're not scheduled for any but she kept disagreeing. It was the principal. Come New Year and she had not worked any of the holiday shifts and I was going to make sure she did so I called out sick on New Years so she had to work. Man, was she ever mad at me and I ended up in a meeting with her and the floor supervisor, whose first words to me was that I didn't even thank her for covering my shift. I said and she didn't ask if I was feeling better. So they said I would have to work a weekend on day shift (I guess they were trying to make it the worst possible shift for me). But - I can't stand a liar and just wanted to make sure she worked a holiday like she said she would. They were never my biggest fans. lol

 

[Mattymatt]

@Mattymatt
When was the last time you spoke with the person in charge of scheduling?

Just after I got assigned to the site I am supposed to protect. I want to make the call but I am dreading doing it right now.

 

[Pats]

Just after I got assigned to the site I am supposed to protect. I want to make the call but I am dreading doing it right now.

Yep - the dread is always the worst part.

 

[Autistamatic]

Pats & tree are right Matt. You need to make that call. Even if it gets you nowhere you have to try if it's making you feel this way.
As to your comment about your future employability. If I was making employment decisions (and I used to in the past) I'd be far better disposed to someone who had done a menial job to support themselves until a training opportunity came along, than someone who sat on their behind, eking out a life on welfare whilst they waited. It shows you're a go getter, not a taker.

 

[Mattymatt]

Pats & tree are right Matt. You need to make that call. Even if it gets you nowhere you have to try if it's making you feel this way.
As to your comment about your future employability. If I was making employment decisions (and I used to in the past) I'd be far better disposed to someone who had done a menial job to support themselves until a training opportunity came along, than someone who sat on their behind, eking out a life on welfare whilst they waited. It shows you're a go getter, not a taker.

Thanks. You're right, I am not a taker.

 

[Mattymatt]

I called scheduling and they claim the only other option that I have is overnights. I'm stuck where I'm at for now. I suppose I could start looking for something else but I won't. Stoic, I am. Quit, I will not.

 

[Mattymatt]

I called scheduling and they claim the only other option that I have is overnights. I'm stuck where I'm at for now. I suppose I could start looking for something else but I won't. Stoic, I am. Quit, I will not.

 

[Autistamatic]

Do or do not, there is no try....
You had to give it a go. You've got four or five months to stick it out max, remember that when it gets hard. The only other thing would be to try and swap shifts around with a colleague if they permit that.
You're a fighter Matt and I respect you for that no end

 

[Mattymatt]

This day just got better. I just got written up for violating a policy that does not even exist in writing. I am so angry and despondent right now that I could just go ballistic. I am melting down right now. And all of this for 14.50 per hour. I just got a phone call today asking if I would be interested in driving a forklift and picker at a nearby warehouse for 18.00 per hour. After all of this, I am seriously considering it. I'm remembering the painful lesson of why I left security over a decade ago. It's a dang he said, she said game where everyone's just trying to blame the lowly guard. And to top it off, I got the beginnings of the bloody flu. So I am going in to work sick tomorrow. ARRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!

I am really feeling down now.

 

[Onna]

Try keep on top of the flu, lemsip, lots of water etc.
I can only advise that you try take it day by day. My sister told me that one time. Get through the first day, without thinking about the difficulties of tomorrow. Only try to manage what’s happening in the moment so it’s not too overwhelming.

 

[Tanyax]

Just don’t let yourself get to the point of a break down. Please care enough about yourself to do something before you can’t go back. Take care of yourself. It sounds like you are being pushed too hard and it’s unhealthy for you? You have to honour your boundaries whenever you can and take care of yourself. It’s very easy to breakdown and very hard to get back. Don’t let yourself get to that point. Please. Look after yourself x

 

[Cactus]

When I was a young man I worked a few years for a contract security company. It's rare to have a consistent schedule. There are too many holes in the schedule that must be filled. In almost four years I never had a consistent schedule. It's the nature of the industry. Contract security companies will not change their methods of operation. In the security field, try to find a proprietary position. That's what I did when I was hired by a community college. Security duties vary widely. Try to find a location that's a better fit. They are certainly not all like the one you describe. Be flexible, and realize just how much work it is to keep that schedule filled and the client happy. I know, I've done it.

 

[TempeFan]

The same thing over and over, a relentless cycle of insanity, expecting things to get better. Things don’t get better, the solution isn’t monotonous repetition.

So, your newest employer committed employment fraud by misrepresenting the material facts of the job, namely the shift hours. Then they violated OSHA safety violations by impairing their security guard with sleep deprivation, which is more dangerous than having a drunk or stoned employee. Then they violated EEOC laws by refusing you the reasonable accomodation you requested and are entitled to under the statute. Do they do this to 20 somethings who are not on the spectrum? Are you an affirmative action hire that they are systematically forcing to quit or just bullying to fill the crap slots?

If they do this to all the new guys, say as a test to find out how reliable you are, before trusting you with a better placement with a more important client, then you may have it made if you just stick it out. If not, then maybe it's time to play your Aspy card. You've been in this game full of dirty dealers and stacked decks, going for the inside straight with only bad hands for a loooooooong time. Aspies can't read the tells so well, so if poker isn't a game you can win ........ The stakes are getting awfully high, the pots are low and you are running out of chips. Maybe you'd have better luck at solitaire, cribbage, canasta, old maids, or backgammon. Change of tactics may be in order.

 

[oregano]

America is getting to be a very hard place to live in if you are not well off. The suicide rate is the highest it's been in decades and the life expectancy is dropping again. People are without hope. I wish I had some happy words for you.

I had to pull off a main street in an industrial district to answer my phone, and I found myself amidst a sea of ratty tents and piles of junk. A little driving around revealed maybe two dozen makeshift dwellings. I've noticed that there are homeless encampments in all sorts of strange places now, and the homeless seem to have lost all sense of fear of the police.

After the parkway flooded in 2017 the homeless simply spread out, they're miles away from the parkway now. And new tents keep popping up. If my mom didn't tolerate me I'd be in a tent city too. Lots of homes have old travel trailers hidden in the backyards now, people with homes are being forced to take in less lucky relatives and friends.

I keep thinking of the tin shacks in the "misery villages" of 1950s Argentina, places that are now multistory buildings of cheap brick. People sell and inherit the shacks now. America is a third world country now, Russia and China are far ahead of us. By the time I'm officially a senior citizen this country will be another Argentina where the only "work" available is being a criminal and stealing from other criminals. Today it seems that the only available job is being a security guard.

At least I still have my SSI-for now, in the near future it will likely be cut by 20% or more as funding is forced to plummet.