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I don't even know what I am ...

reficul4444

Well-Known Member
Title says it all... But my best guess is an aspie.

As of now, I'm 19, extremely anti-social, socially awkward, lonely (and hell I'm quite alright with it) etc... I've always been different, an outcast, I've never fit in and I didn't even want to either. I couldn't say I've ever had any friends (I did have friends but I've got my own definition of friends, love etc..) and I'd just like to believe I've ever been in love. I'm afraid all feelings felt were generated by my brain to make me believe something I wanted to. Like drugs.. It's like I could drug myself, with feelings, if I want to. Why do I believe the case is this, and not actual love, friendship etc..? Because I doubt that would just disappear in a day. Yes, I was obsessed with a few people at some times, and then next day? I didn't even care or think about them anymore. If you have any better explanations, I'm happy to hear them..
(Actually I think I do have one but I seem to just scare them off ... )
Also, I'm disgusted by most people ones who are driven by purely animalistic instincts or/and are hypocritical to their very last pieces.

First when I knew nothing really about me or psychology I just went with the most well-known term, psychopath. I've been called that a couple of times, so I accepted. I did my readings and found sociopath which fit me a lot more, since I'm not really into .. you know.. violence. I just think of it as a tool one might use, not a pleasure. And then found Asperger's Syndrome which I can relate to in a lot of its points (maybe ALL except for clumsiness). So it's maybe easier to believe that I was born like this than that I chose this.
I do have a good couple of "aspie traits" like mixing pronouns, getting obsessed with things/people, habits etc.. But I guess you all have and know about these so let's just skip..

I've never been diagnosed professionally and I doubt I'd ever be. (I'd probably play with the shrinks and cheat the tests anyway, wouldn't it be more fun?)
I don't like being analysed, that's something I like to do though. I did a few tests online and the results were obvious, they said I most probably am an aspie.

Yeah, I think that should be more than enough for the first time. I hope you get a basic image of me (I tend to believe I can't really phrase my thoughts too well). If you have anything to add, ask or just say generally or to help me "getting diagnosed" properly, then do it please!
 
Welcome. Read more and more and see what you identify strongly with.

I personally would recommend that you seek a formal diagnosis for your own sake. I always think that it's better to know what you are dealing with.
 

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