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I don't think I will ever get married even if I want to.

AspieOtaku

AspieOtaku

Leader of the otaku legion!
I have been single for 12 years, never met someone serious or wants to get serious with me, I have had flings and FWBs but feel incomplete, I got a career, a nice place a car but I feel something is missing, how long can I keep up partying but going back home feeling alone? I dont know what do do or what I want at this point.
 
AspieOtaku said:
I have been single for 12 years, never met someone serious or wants to get serious with me, I have had flings and FWBs but feel incomplete, I got a career, a nice place a car but I feel something is missing, how long can I keep up partying but going back home feeling alone? I dont know what do do or what I want at this point.
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You're obviously unfulfilled by partying but going home feeling alone, so maybe it's time to try something new. Maybe there's a new hobby you could try, and maybe you'll meet someone that way. Or sign up for online dating, or as you seem to be ok with socialising/partying, why not try to meet some new people that way?

All of this may be moot however, as only you can truly decide what it is that you want. As you stated at the end of your post that you don't really know what it is that you want right now, maybe have a good long think about that and decide what you actually do want first, and work from there.
 
AspieOtaku, if you want someone serious, stop partying! Partying lends itself as an implication to hookups and FWBs. If you are in your 30s now, you might be alright, but if you were involved in many hookups in your 30s, people might feel that you've been getting around too much. If most of your hooking up is done in your 20s, most people may feel that you are young and having fun.

Generally, building a serious relationship takes time and some luck. The best ways to do this are to find hobbies that suit you and possibly the other person you might meet.

Another option is maybe to try to make up with a former fwb by taking it slow. I don't know how well that would work, but something you could consider.
 
paloftoon said:
AspieOtaku, if you want someone serious, stop partying! Partying lends itself as an implication to hookups and FWBs. If you are in your 30s now, you might be alright, but if you were involved in many hookups in your 30s, people might feel that you've been getting around too much. If most of your hooking up is done in your 20s, most people may feel that you are young and having fun.

Generally, building a serious relationship takes time and some luck. The best ways to do this are to find hobbies that suit you and possibly the other person you might meet.

Another option is maybe to try to make up with a former fwb by taking it slow. I don't know how well that would work, but something you could consider.
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I had a fwb a while back and wanted to instantly get in a relationship and moved to fast, I wasnt ready so I rejected that but that was long ago I now kinda wish i did not want to reject it but she was rushing it, I dont know what I want now.
 
AspieOtaku said:
I had a fwb a while back and wanted to instantly get in a relationship and moved to fast, I wasnt ready so I rejected that but that was long ago I now kinda wish i did not want to reject it but she was rushing it, I dont know what I want now.
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Well, since you mention this person, you must have an interest in getting back with her again possibly. I would recommend try reaching out to her. Tell her that you think that she went too fast. See if she's taken and what she has learned from the last experience. If you like her answer, and if she's also interested, give it another go I think and take it slow. Communicate well, and if she starts to rush, don't just drop her. Tell her your needs and give her chances to slow down. Remember, it takes two to make a real relationship work.
 
Not knowing what you want for now isn't a bad thing. Take some time to figure it out. I wouldn't pursue this old FWB if you don't even know whether you want to.
 
It might be better to avoid folks who are comfortable being a FWB. Personally, I would be apprehensive about their capacity for commitment and/or their fidelity.
 
AspieOtaku said:
I have been single for 12 years, never met someone serious or wants to get serious with me, I have had flings and FWBs but feel incomplete, I got a career, a nice place a car but I feel something is missing, how long can I keep up partying but going back home feeling alone? I dont know what do do or what I want at this point.
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I did that, party/socialize that is, for some time. Socialized for years attempting to figure out how my life should be. Eventually, after several relationships I discovered what I did and did not like in the people closest to me. It helped me to decide and understand people, to discover what I was about. You'll likely understand eventually what it is that makes you happy, @AspieOtaku I did in my middle twenties. It's a search like anything else, that's worth taking your time with.
 
Maybe I should just keep trying to enjoy being single and do what I do until I find the right one, in the meantime this song comes to mind
For laughs.
 
Being single does have its perks AspieOtaku! Like, no babies, no children to have to feed with additional expenses. You are free to do fun activities you like to do, and when you want to do them, and don't need to compromise with your partner or children. You don't have to work out socializing or arguments, lol. etc.
 
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paloftoon said:
Being single does have its perks AspieOtaku! Like, no babies, no children to have to feed with additional expenses. You are free to do fun activities you like to do and don't need to compromise with your partner or children. You don't have to work out socializing or arguments, lol. etc.
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Your right, best answer ever, maybe I should find the one who enjoys doing the same things I do and in due time it may happen.
 
AspieOtaku said:
Your right, best answer ever, maybe I should find the one who enjoys doing the same things I do and in due time it may happen.
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Similar interests is good, but don't be too rigid about it. Be open to trying some new things that your partner likes, but normally it's easier to be around with someone with some commonality. Having "everything" in common is not necessarily better or worse. Best thing to try to do is to keep a more open mind.
 
Yes you will find!

When we get older, we understand more and more about us..... I feel like, as an NT person dating an AS guy, that maturity is the key ..... You will find the right girl that will be willing to understand you ...

and avoid too fast things ...... they just don't work ...... you were right...... but perhaps talking to that girl again, and trying to understand her reasons might help you....

Don't give up....
 
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