I feel like I need to accept myself.

[Metalhead]

A part of me wanted to make a post for acceptance here, but I realize I need to love and take care of myself first. External validation is an addiction like any other and it will get me nowhere.

So who wants to sip coffee with me this Monday evening?

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

You should do it.
It is a practice.
And external validation is very easy to hope for, definitely I have felt the same.
If no one validates your pain yes it is very difficult. Because it is nice when someone sees it, that is why I used to have a strong faith because at least God could see it when people can let you down.
But yes you are perfect for you and everything about you is perfect and you do not need to change for no one.
But yes you are worth it.

 

[Outdated]

I would love to have coffee with you but you'd have to come here, Australia has the best coffee in the world. Starbucks failed here because they were overpriced and their coffee was crap.

Simple facts of life my friend:

If you do not respect yourself then no one else will have respect for you either.
If you do not love yourself then no one else will love you either.

They are facts of life, how you deal with them is up to you.

 

[Metalhead]

I would love to have coffee with you but you'd have to come here, Australia has the best coffee in the world. Starbucks failed here because they were overpriced and their coffee was crap.

Simple facts of life my friend:

If you do not respect yourself then no one else will have respect for you either.
If you do not love yourself then no one else will love you either.

They are facts of life, how you deal with them is up to you.

I spent the last couple of days telling this to one of my closest friends, probably because I needed to hear it for myself. Funny how that works.

 

[Outdated]

You'd seriously have the time of your life in Melbourne, you should visit there if you ever get the chance. In fact you should make it one of your life goals, on the bucket list sort of thing, see people living a different lifestyle. That's not to say it's better, but horses for courses, what suits some doesn't suit others.

I honestly think you should explore the outside world a little more, it's an amazing place. Do it while you're still young enough to enjoy it, don't leave it until you're too old because then you'll never do it. Live your life while you still have one.

 

[DaisyRose]

Taking care of yourself is important to being happy. I know the feeling of letting go of yourself and thinking you have everything under control. It sucks and when you realize you have not been taking care of yourself. It’s a slap to the face. Please always be kind to yourself and take it easy. You are only human after all.

 

[Metalhead]

What I feed my mind is what I put out. I should stop going to PornHub in that case.

I also need nutrition instead of instant noodles.

I have been losing weight but I have not been taking good care of myself.

 

[Metalhead]

My heart is a miasma of rage and hurt. So much happened to me as a child that should never happen to any child. And the only response I get from most people is “get over it”. Like it is easy to get over being raped by relatives as a child, then being forced to hug and make up with the abusers by his parents.

So much hate in my heart, my spirit, my soul.

 

[Outdated]

Hate only hurts yourself.

The very first and most important thing you must do is Move Away.

After that you will find yourself able to move on..

 

[Aspychata]

You will cycle thru hate with those family members. Then you will cycle thru forgiveness with yourself, and maybe family members. Then you will get stronger.

 

[Metalhead]

You will cycle thru hate with those family members. Then you will cycle thru forgiveness with yourself, and maybe family members. Then you will get stronger.

I want most of my family to taste my bile. But frankly they could not possibly care any less about how I feel.

 

[Aspychata]

Oh dear. You gotta go grey rock. Like no contact.

 

[Alexej]

A part of me wanted to make a post for acceptance here, but I realize I need to love and take care of myself first. External validation is an addiction like any other and it will get me nowhere.

So who wants to sip coffee with me this Monday evening?

Sorry I cants sip coffee with you Mon eve - due to time zones - but I am sipping coffee now. 8am my time

Yes depending on external validation is like being hooked on a drug. You need ever more to get the same effect.
Glad you said this

 

[Rodafina]

My heart is a miasma of rage and hurt. So much happened to me as a child that should never happen to any child. And the only response I get from most people is “get over it”. Like it is easy to get over being raped by relatives as a child, then being forced to hug and make up with the abusers by his parents.

So much hate in my heart, my spirit, my soul.

Metalhead, I'm sorry if I missed this or can't remember, but do you work with a therapist? A lot of what you're going through is so big that many people will work with a therapist toward some of the goals that you seem to have.

I accept the idea that therapy can be challenging and not everyone is open to the idea of working with a therapist. But on the other side of that, many of us here on the forum have greatly benefited from a therapeutic relationship with a mental health provider.

Childhood trauma and the abuse that you incurred are things that can be very difficult to figure out on your own, or even with supportive friends. Most people in your situation need some level of professional support to move past these things in life.

 

[Kayla55]

I was as shy as a mouse, lack confidence in myself.
What helped was to watch other people and see they are human too, make mistakes, say stupid things, are not as amazing as appear.
Not to point this out aloud but to then go and realise what are your special gifts metal head....

 

[Kayla55]

Metalhead, I'm sorry if I missed this or can't remember, but do you work with a therapist? A lot of what you're going through is so big that many people will work with a therapist toward some of the goals that you seem to have.

I accept the idea that therapy can be challenging and not everyone is open to the idea of working with a therapist. But on the other side of that, many of us here on the forum have greatly benefited from a therapeutic relationship with a mental health provider.

Childhood trauma and the abuse that you incurred are things that can be very difficult to figure out on your own, or even with supportive friends. Most people in your situation need some level of professional support to move past these things in life.

In my country the therapists are backward thinking, in some small states as well not much changes. We don't all have private fees and office and environ can upset sensory as well as my trouble was talking about emotions and worst was waiting for Monday to try express weekend issue and by Monday I couldn't feel to talk. I can't switch on/off and needed a responsive support group.

Pls don't say things like this, I spent years studying those days called correspondence not home schooling. And same with therapy I had to find self help books. I can't trust or talk to a stranger, some of us are fearful of doctors due to medication or the shrink telling family had things, this doesn't help when it's already so hard for us with ASD to ask for help

 

[Rodafina]

In my country the therapists are backward thinking, in some small states as well not much changes. We don't all have private fees and office and environ can upset sensory as well as my trouble was talking about emotions and worst was waiting for Monday to try express weekend issue and by Monday I couldn't feel to talk. I can't switch on/off and needed a responsive support group.

Pls don't say things like this, I spent years studying those days called correspondence not home schooling. And same with therapy I had to find self help books. I can't trust or talk to a stranger, some of us are fearful of doctors due to medication or the shrink telling family had things, this doesn't help when it's already so hard for us with ASD to ask for help

As I said, I recognize therapy is not accessible or useful to every person out there. But for some of us, myself included, it was life-saving. It is worth mentioning and it is worth considering even though it will not always be the answer for everyone.

 

[Kayla55]

As I said, I recognize therapy is not accessible or useful to every person out there. But for some of us, myself included, it was life-saving. It is worth mentioning and it is worth considering even though it will not always be the answer for everyone.

It is also worth noting downfalls, so like church many more would go if it wasn't for Christians.
So let's investigate civil servant work further, it designed on lovely ideals that few are willing to sacrifice their own time for, as non-profit good therapist overrun and private therapist expensive. Then social services what a wonderful idea, provided everybody really cared about children's rights, so if parent is just struggling and person complaining hasn't even donated 10hours community service in life then we faithfully agree that if no immediate danger the worst curse is having no parents so leave poor family alone. Then we call it best interests of child because down at orphanage no one really gives hugs.

 

[Kayla55]

Need to clarify.....
A civil Justice system recognises a division between child services vs a country's responsibility to support the poor. Schools would then be rectified to refer parents to support and not child service.
Support is also responsible for settling school fee disputes in the event that system states it is free but isn't. In other words are not allowed to use such a proxy to intimidate a parent for not having sufficient funds.
Our legal system is barbaric

 

[Metalhead]

Metalhead, I'm sorry if I missed this or can't remember, but do you work with a therapist? A lot of what you're going through is so big that many people will work with a therapist toward some of the goals that you seem to have.

I accept the idea that therapy can be challenging and not everyone is open to the idea of working with a therapist. But on the other side of that, many of us here on the forum have greatly benefited from a therapeutic relationship with a mental health provider.

Childhood trauma and the abuse that you incurred are things that can be very difficult to figure out on your own, or even with supportive friends. Most people in your situation need some level of professional support to move past these things in life.

I am working with a therapist these days. Hey, at least I moved past the point where I drowned out my anger with rivers of beer. That is progress.