I feel like I'm not getting along with this girl at my church. Any tips?

[music.forlife7]

I am a Christian and I attend church, and our congregation is small, so we have had one recent family join us. They're a good family, it's just that I don't get along with one of the girls in the family that well. She is seventeen, one year younger than I am. We don't fight, so that's not part of the issue. The problem is holding a conversation with her. In certain things, we get along just fine. In other areas of conversation, it seems awkward between us. I'll give you an example: In a recent church event for a baby shower, she asked me if I drove. I told her no, even though I am 18. She responded with "Why, are you scared?" while laughing. I didn't speak to her for the rest of that day. When we were helping to clean up the snacks and table cloths, I asked her how she wanted me to finish pushing the chairs in. She ignored me and when I asked again, she cracked up.

I don't say this to anyone but when she does that it gets on my nerves. And I want to get along with her but sometimes I ask myself "Why Bother?" I haven't known her for that long, of course, but it seems like it's this way all the time with her. Her family has some personal problems so maybe that's why she's like this, but still.

 

[imagesbyholly]

It sounds like she's just snobby. It may very well be family problems that made her that way, but it's not like she doesn't have a choice. Because she hasn't been around for that long, it may take time for her to see her own foolishness. It's probably a good idea to avoid her but still be polite and kind, and spend time with people who are good to you. Maybe she'll come around if everyone keeps being nice to her, and maybe not. I am also wondering why you asked her how she wanted you to finish the chairs- was she in charge of it or something? If you give snobby people any sense of power over you, they think they can own you and treat you as they like. It is unfortunate that she has so far not been Christlike to you, but perhapse the people in your church can be so to her.

 

[Soup]

This girl sounds more than just snobby but a bit of a catty 'mean girl' type. You might want to be polite & distantly respectful when you're forced to interact with her but avoid her in preference for kinder people. She may also not quite know how to act since she is new & she may be making a botched job of posturing in a misguided attempt to appear cool. Some people can act this way when they're not feeling very confident. Perhaps when she learns that her attitude isn't winning her either friends or popularity, she'll change.

 

[Mr Faramoose]

it feels like I'm just copying what's said above but yeah, she sounds snobby, the ''are you scared comment'' with the accompanying laugh, suggests, although depending on the type of laugh, that she was putting you down for not driving. Deliberately ignoring you when you asked about the chairs and then laughing at you when you asked again sounds like she finds it funny to mess with you

 

[gailt915]

Music, have things improved any? I'm a christian too. That girl's behavior sure does not sound like the way a christian should/would act. I guess my advice would be to pray for her, for her salvation and for God to minister to her. When someone truely has God in their heart, His love flows out thru them.

 

[music.forlife7]

Music, have things improved any? I'm a christian too. That girl's behavior sure does not sound like the way a christian should/would act. I guess my advice would be to pray for her, for her salvation and for God to minister to her. When someone truely has God in their heart, His love flows out thru them.

Sprry for replying late. Yes, things are improving. Thanks . We're not the best of friends, but we're not exactly enemies either, so that's good. It's going to take a while to know her though.

 

[Soup]

@ Music: Who knows? Maybe it'll turn out that she was struggling through a few issues of her own & wasn't coping so well. I'm very glad you didn't respond with a bunch of snootiness of your own but handled it with class & discretion.

 

[wyverary]

To me, this doesn't sound so much an issue of her being "snobby"--from the information you gave, I don't think I would be able to conclude that she was--but more an issue of you two just not "clicking." This isn't uncommon. I agree with the others who suggest you be polite and kind. As far as I'm aware, there's no rule that says you have to be best chums with everyone you meet.

 

[superboyian]

Sprry for replying late. Yes, things are improving. Thanks . We're not the best of friends, but we're not exactly enemies either, so that's good. It's going to take a while to know her though.

In a way, I wouldn't say much and I would in a way laugh when I'm nervous only because I wouldn't know what to say to the other person and at the time, I didn't have an understanding of what to say or how I could relate to them in any way?

I'm glad that things between you two are going great. It would take a while, hopefully things should go along well by the grace of God and who knows? You both could even be like the best of friends?

 

[Spinning Compass]

I would be very careful with this person and not tell her anything personal. The kind of laughter you describe on your initial meeting doesn't sound like nervousness to me. Most people wouldn't respond like that. Just be careful. Because she doesn't sound like a true friend.

 

[Jontish]

I don't really see how people can call her snobby based on what he wrote... "Why, are you scared?" sounds more like a (bad) joke than anything malicious. And as for you asking her how she wanted you to push the chairs in, I'm not sure I understand. Do you really need instructions in how to push chairs? :S