I feel like suicide is the only solution.

[Markness]

I can’t get my life in order no matter what I do. I mess up at everything and I always get dead ends or someone decides to deny me from moving forward. I always end up just going back to my room and seeing history repeat itself. Every year begins with me hoping things will get better and it always ends with things going from bad to worse.

I feel more and more that suicide is the only solution left for me.

 

[Raggamuffin]

I get a lot more suicidal ideation when times are low. But I think you have to remind yourself that lows are temporary and it's not all bad. Even if you go through prolonged periods of stress, burnout and depression etc.

Can't guarantee things will improve. Also don't believe it's anyone's place to try and talk someone out of their own beliefs and decisions. At the end of the day, suicide is a choice, but it's a final choice - and there's no going back.

I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide I think. Which is probably a good thing. Although self-care and self-medication are probably cutting my life down a lot shorter. Plus stress, anxiety, depression and even supposedly ASD drastically reduces life expectancy. Not to say we all have a lower lifespan, but it's a running theme it seems.

Ed

 

[Jordy]

I think it's quite reasonable to feel suicidal in your situation (not to say that i am encouraging you to do anything to yourself). I don't know what else to say, If I knew the solution to your problems I wouldn't be in a similar predicament myself.

I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide I think. Which is probably a good thing. Although self-care and self-medication are probably cutting my life down a lot shorter. Plus stress, anxiety, depression and even supposedly ASD drastically reduces life expectancy. Not to say we all have a lower lifespan, but it's a running theme it seems.

Main reason for that is suicide and accidents. Our life expectancy is about normal if you don't die from those 2. They are both reasonably preventable so we could increase the life expectancy of autism if society cared to make an effort.

 

[tree]

@Markness

Might be time to consider in-patient treatment.

Whatever's happening in your therapy sessions
doesn't seem to be adequate.

 

[Nitro]

I can’t get my life in order no matter what I do. I mess up at everything and I always get dead ends or someone decides to deny me from moving forward. I always end up just going back to my room and seeing history repeat itself. Every year begins with me hoping things will get better and it always ends with things going from bad to worse.

I feel more and more that suicide is the only solution left for me.

https://www.autismforums.com/threads/suicide-self-harm-help-hotlines-resources.2458/

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Many of us have implored you to make substantive changes that could be a start in breaking you out of your cage. It is scary because you need to confront very vulnerable aspects of your basic self.

 

[Shaddock]

maybe off-topic, but I find that suicide is a really sensitive topic. I don´t know how the moderators handle this here. if they always know if there is a danger or not. how to recognize that and if and how to act.

I would always write down, that the thoughts are "not concrete" and that there is "no danger" of harming oneself. so that other members know that they don´t have to be anxious about that.

otherwise it´s very difficult to know if there is really a danger that someone commits suicide or not. that can trigger massive anxiety in users, especially when they like or know you a bit more.

I find it absolutely okay to speak about suicide thoughts and I find it really important, but maybe a disclaimer so that others don´t need to be anxious.

and when someone would really be acute suicidal and about to commit suicide, then it would be better when this person would call a suicide hotline or talk to family members or friends, instead of writing in a forum, because a forum can not help in acute situations and talking to someone is better than writing with people which don´t really know in a forum.

 

[Metalhead]

Go to the emergency room. That is not a joke. Nobody here wants you to die. And antidepressants are not the worst thing in the world.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I feel suicidal at times when I see couples everywhere and I can't even get a coffee date with a girl and don't even get me started on how easy it is to get a coffee date with a guy though.

Then when I try but single girls don't talk to me it is all my fault. So lately I have been saying heck with it why bother so I missed Church Sunday and I have not been out in two weeks. I don't go to any events anymore either because there are the same people there.

 

[Nitro]

maybe off-topic, but I find that suicide is a really sensitive topic. I don´t know how the moderators handle this here. if they always know if there is a danger or not. how to recognize that and if and how to act.

I would always write down, that the thoughts are "not concrete" and that there is "no danger" of harming oneself. so that other members know that they don´t have to be anxious about that.

otherwise it´s very difficult to know if there is really a danger that someone commits suicide or not. that can trigger massive anxiety in users, especially when they like or know you a bit more.

I find it absolutely okay to speak about suicide thoughts and I find it really important, but maybe a disclaimer so that others don´t need to be anxious.

and when someone would really be acute suicidal and about to commit suicide, then it would be better when this person would call a suicide hotline or talk to family members or friends, instead of writing in a forum, because a forum can not help in acute situations and talking to someone is better than writing with people which don´t really know in a forum.

We were instructed by our former owner to only intervene with helpline numbers and links to professional assistance because none of us are qualified to assist any member who may have this ideation.

We strongly urge anyone who is feeling this way to seek professional help for that very reason.

 

[velociraptor]

I can’t get my life in order no matter what I do. I mess up at everything and I always get dead ends or someone decides to deny me from moving forward. I always end up just going back to my room and seeing history repeat itself. Every year begins with me hoping things will get better and it always ends with things going from bad to worse.

I feel more and more that suicide is the only solution left for me.

It's not a solution, just a way of shifting your misery to those you care about. The misery doesn't go away, it goes elsewhere. So. Not a viable choice.

 

[Thinx]

I can’t get my life in order no matter what I do. I mess up at everything and I always get dead ends or someone decides to deny me from moving forward. I always end up just going back to my room and seeing history repeat itself. Every year begins with me hoping things will get better and it always ends with things going from bad to worse.

I feel more and more that suicide is the only solution left for me.

This sounds very hard for you, sorry you feel so depressed. I hope you can talk to someone in person about this, is there a friend or family member who can support you and listen? Would inpatient treatment help, that @tree mentioned? Really hope you feel a bit better soon, people here care about you, and also about @Tony Ramirez who seems down and depressed as he has posted to this thread.

Maybe get some sleep if it's night time where you are, and get some help with your depression. Do you have anti depressants already?

 

[Aspychata]

Please call 911 or have some one drive you to Emergency. Now. Don't delay. Check yourself in. You only owe it to yourself to get help. NOW.

We care about you. Check yourself in now.

Thank you. We have heard your request for help.

 

[Misery]

Ya know, we're always going to do our best to offer advice and such, or to just sorta be there at bad times... that alone shows that there absolutely are those who believe in you and want you to succeed. Because you are worth it.

But, as much as we want to help, we cant help with this one, this state of mind.

Like the others are saying: Get up and go. Emergency room. Dont hesitate or think about it, just do it. Right now, that's what's gonna help.

 

[BrokenBoy]

I don't think you should kill yourself, tbh. You're cool.

Maybe follow the advice of everyone here and you'll learn to like yourself.

 

[VictorR]

Markness - your story is not set in stone. In fact, it's still being written, by you.

Please seek help, because I want to see you overcome this, and I want to read the chapters that are yet to be written.

 

[QueenOfFrance87]

When my ex filed for divorce three years ago, I was both suicidal and homicidal, because I feared I could never find another man to replace him, and everyone else I knew, including my teenage cousins, are in relationships. Heck, I even wanted to do violent things (I won't go into details though, but I remembered making a thread about this a month after he filed). I went to the hospital thrice that year, and the last time, I was put on Abilify, which has since been very helpful, and I wasn't hospitalized since.

I stopped thinking about wanting a man in my life and started to focus on other things; I have expanded my crafty palette and learned how to knit and make jewelry, which made me money. I also took on interests both old and new, such as Pokémon; I started playing Sword and Shield because my mother thought it would be a great early Christmas gift for me, and started collecting Pokemon cards, something I haven't done since seventh grade. I also started on collecting pogs, and am learning Spanish through a book that I bought on Amazon.

While there were times when I felt lonely, I remind myself why I wanted a relationship. My brother, when he was on drugs, told me I would never lose my virginity, which really upset me to the point where I would become suicidal, and as mentioned, I was envious of other relatives and their SO's. So I met my ex online and we got married, but his mental health deteriorated two years in, and it eventually became unbearable for both of us.

Ever since my divorce, I have become more social, and spend a lot of time with my nieces and other relatives, who all said I was more delightful. I am also returning to volunteering; an animal shelter that's popular with my family accepted my volunteer form, and will start training me to work with the cats in mid-September.

So that's my story. I really hope it helps you, and we all hope you make the right decision in going to the emergency room. We care about you, even though it may not seem like it. All you have to do is just take it one day at a time.

While I am not the best at giving advice, I hope this will help you and make you feel even a little better.

 

[Gradivus]

I feel suicidal at times when I see couples everywhere and I can't even get a coffee date with a girl and don't even get me started on how easy it is to get a coffee date with a guy though.

Then when I try but single girls don't talk to me it is all my fault. So lately I have been saying heck with it why bother so I missed Church Sunday and I have not been out in two weeks. I don't go to any events anymore either because there are the same people there.

For all those Aspies who have girlfriends or romantic relationships that are very good, that's great, but for a lot of us, having a girlfriend isn't all it's cracked up to be. Even for neurotypical men, figuring out what women want or the right social cues is problematic; for most of us Aspies… Fuggedaboudit!

Learn to love yourself and do things that give you self-satisfaction. Don't think you need a romantic partner to make your life complete, or even meaningful—that's a mirage.

I've had girlfriends—was even married once—and it ain't like the movies; it's a lot of work, trouble, and grief. You'll probably get one eventually anyway, when it's time for it to happen. Meanwhile, you may be better off and happier without one. I know I am!

P.S. — I know you say you like cats, but if you want true companionship with someone who will love you unconditionally, get a dog! And take good care of him—or her (doesn't really matter which).

 

[Rodafina]

@Markness,

 

[Gradivus]

I can’t get my life in order no matter what I do. I mess up at everything and I always get dead ends or someone decides to deny me from moving forward. I always end up just going back to my room and seeing history repeat itself. Every year begins with me hoping things will get better and it always ends with things going from bad to worse.

I feel more and more that suicide is the only solution left for me.

Suicide is never the solution to anything. Every other option is better than that.

What do you mean by "moving forward"? And what do you mean by things going from bad to worse? What's the "good" result you're trying to get, and what's the "bad" you're trying to avoid? If you do your best then it's not your fault if things don't turn out as well as you hoped or if people don't appreciate it. Appreciate your small victories, and if things don't go right shrug and say oh well, I tried. Strive for self-satisfaction, not the approval of others.