i finally got answers and now i need more

[madisen622]

i got diagnosed with autism in september of last year 2022, i felt like i finally got clarity but now im running into more questions. i was seeing a therapist after everything had happened. we were talking and she mentioned the need of my shoelaces to be the same tightness is a sign of OCD. i can't wear laces on shoes because i will have a meltdown when they aren't the same. i brushed it off as a symptom of autism, does anyone else feel the same way as me? looking for any advice.

 

[Judge]

Sure sounds like a symptom of OCD. A pathological compulsion for something you cannot necessarily explain or validate. However it's more complicated than that, as a comorbid symptom of autism. I know personally symmetry and physical order of things of any kind tends to be an obsession for me. Though I often try my best to hide such symptoms if I can. Whether I must carry at least four of each coins in my pocket if possible. Or make sure the lock on my front door is secure- no less than four times each night before I go to bed. Sound familiar?

To my knowledge OCD doesn't just "tag along" with autism. I know in my own case my doctor explained my OCD as the result of personal traumas that befell me in the same year. It's like a form of PTSD that lingers in your life.

As someone with diagnosed OCD, I can only suggest you pursue it further with your therapist or doctor. Find out if you really have it, and more importantly what may be its root cause.

BTW- I cut my shoelaces if I have to, just to make them the exact same length and tightness. Why do I do it?

-BECAUSE!!!!!!!! (No rational explanation required with OCD. It's an obsession you are compelled to do.)

 

[Darkkin]

It could be a sensory issue, and there are a plethora of laceless options that can accommodate a workaround.

I almost always have me head and hands covered (hoods, hats, handwarmers) because I don't retain heat and if I get too cold my systems start to stress and shutdown.

I also need light compression on my legs and torso because of my EDS. It stabilizes my joints, helps with circulation and just helps me feel better overall.

These are small accommodations we do to equalize the input on our nervous systems. From a big picture perspective, does wearing a pair of slip on shoes instead of being stressed by uneven lace pressure realistically hurt anything?

The only pairs of shoes I have that tie are two pairs of boots. One regular pair, one pair of snow boots. I don't like wearing either pair, but some days I need to simply because of the weather. Personally I prefer to be barefoot. Cracking my toes is one of my stims.

One story my mom always told me was that it drove her nuts when her hair braids were each different tightness. Grandpa braided it right, Grandma always did one side too tight. (Added note Mom is ADHD (inattentive type with no comorbidities.))

 

[Judge]

It could be a sensory issue, and there are a plethora of laceless options that can accommodate a workaround.

Possibly. Though from my own perspective, first and foremost equal tightness of shoelaces isn't indicative of a sensory issue so much as a compulsion for symmetry. Not a concern of physical comfort. One step into my apartment and one can quickly observe how I apply it to my living space. Not because I want to, but rather because I am compelled to. With everything having a specific place and position.

In being on the spectrum, sensory issues are very much part of my life as well. Yet with my sensory issues I can explain them reasonably well in comparison. Despite my own plethora of obsessive compulsions, I can't logically explain their actual origin. Only that I experience them.

For me, OCD is a very different thing from ASD. Where one might end at my front door while the other follows me wherever I go, 24/7. I suppose I'm just grateful that I don't have OCPD, which can be even more problematic where one is compelled to alter their immediate environment wherever that may be, even if they don't have possession of it. All to satisfy compulsions with no real explanation. And yes, it can be exhausting- even maddening at times. I still chuckle at myself sometimes, recalling how in working as a web designer, how someone introduced me to the idea that symmetry isn't so necessary in the course of design. I struggled with it at first, but managed to make some headway, though I never considered telling anyone I had OCD.

Have I gone through CBT in an effort to subdue my OCD ? Yes. Did it work? No. But it doesn't preclude others from having some degree of success. Better to try at least than do nothing at all.

That all said, let's hear what the OP has to say though as to whether or not it's a sensory issue for her first and foremost, or a compulsion with another possible explanation.

 

[Darkkin]

From my perspective, first and foremost equal tightness isn't a sensory issue so much as a compulsion for symmetry. Though in being on the spectrum, sensory issues are very much part of my life as well. Yet with my sensory issues I can explain them reasonably well in comparison. Despite my own plethora of compulsions, I can't logically explain their actual origin. If there even is one...

That said, let's hear what the OP has to say though as to whether or not it's a sensory issue for her first and foremost, or a compulsion with another explanation.

Context always helps. My issues are all sensory based, including my migraines, so it is something I've learned to pay attention to.

Flipside of the is I can switch on a hypo level of interopection when I mask. What my family calls my 'I'm fine face.'

 

[madisen622]

Sure sounds like a symptom of OCD. A pathological compulsion for something you cannot necessarily explain or validate. However it's more complicated than that, as a comorbid symptom of autism. I know personally symmetry and physical order of things of any kind tends to be an obsession for me. Though I often try my best to hide such symptoms if I can. Whether I must carry at least four of each coins in my pocket if possible. Or make sure the lock on my front door is secure- no less than four times each night before I go to bed. Sound familiar?

To my knowledge OCD doesn't just "tag along" with autism. I know in my own case my doctor explained my OCD as the result of personal traumas that befell me in the same year. It's like a form of PTSD that lingers in your life.

As someone with diagnosed OCD, I can only suggest you pursue it further with your therapist or doctor. Find out if you really have it, and more importantly what may be its root cause.

BTW- I cut my shoelaces if I have to, just to make them the exact same length and tightness. Why do I do it?

-BECAUSE!!!!!!!! (No rational explanation required with OCD. It's an obsession you are compelled to do.)

thank you, i appreciate your advice! im trying to think of any other areas in my life where i feel the same way, im going to try looking at them more often from now on. i know i have a LOT of intrusive thoughts that most people look at me weird for, your standard "i could just serve and get into a comma now" thoughts but also the awful incest intrusive ones too. i feel the need to bathe, i don't understand why they happen. unfortunately i don't know if seeking a diagnosis is on the table for me for a while, between being waitlisted and not being able to afford seeing a therapist anymore it's extremely difficult.

i feel the unexplainable reasoning too, i don't know why i need them to be the same tightness i just DO. i can only wear slip-on shoes now to avoid further meltdowns.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I used to have that as a sensory issue FWIW. I also used to tie shoelaces into like 5 knots as a kid and I've never been diagnosed with OCD

 

[Judge]

thank you, i appreciate your advice! im trying to think of any other areas in my life where i feel the same way, im going to try looking at them more often from now on. i know i have a LOT of intrusive thoughts that most people look at me weird for, your standard "i could just serve and get into a comma now" thoughts but also the awful incest intrusive ones too. i feel the need to bathe, i don't understand why they happen. unfortunately i don't know if seeking a diagnosis is on the table for me for a while, between being waitlisted and not being able to afford seeing a therapist anymore it's extremely difficult.

i feel the unexplainable reasoning too, i don't know why i need them to be the same tightness i just DO. i can only wear slip-on shoes now to avoid further meltdowns.

You put it all rather well. Particularly the term "intrusive thoughts". Which to me is often at the heart of my OCD. that they can come out of nowhere, forcing me to make bizarre choices over things that more often than not are of little to no importance in the real world. But in real-time they may seem quite urgent.

Sometimes I want to call such thoughts as being akin to being "superstition on steroids". Though sadly such things could well be the result of some trauma(s)...as in my own case. The sort of thing best dealt with through a medical professional.

 

[Outdated]

the need of my shoelaces to be the same tightness is a sign of OCD. i can't wear laces on shoes because i will have a meltdown when they aren't the same. i brushed it off as a symptom of autism, does anyone else feel the same way as me? looking for any advice.

I hate shoes, but when I have to wear them I'm very particular about exactly how they fit, and OCD is definitely not part of my nature. As @Darkkin said, part of it is a sensory issue but mostly it's simple practicality.

I was a printer, an industrial tradesman, and at many places I had to wear the steel capped work boots. In these sorts of jobs the only time you get to sit down for the day is when you get in the car to go home, so how those boots fit and felt made a huge difference to my day.

If they are too tight then the laces press in to the top of your foot and they hurt. If they are even slightly too loose, if there is any play or movement of the foot inside the boot at all, then you're going to get blisters and be crippled for a few days.

When the laces are so long and go through so many eyelets I never got it right first off, I'd put my boots on and do them up then walk around for a minute or so before retensioning them just right. Then shortly after the work day started I'd be readjusting them again.

I really hate wearing dress shoes, they never fit properly and they only lace up over the front of the foot so they always feel like they're going to fall off. I never wear sneakers either, I have very broad feet and I have never had a pair that fit properly.

 

[Owliet]

i got diagnosed with autism in september of last year 2022, i felt like i finally got clarity but now im running into more questions. i was seeing a therapist after everything had happened. we were talking and she mentioned the need of my shoelaces to be the same tightness is a sign of OCD. i can't wear laces on shoes because i will have a meltdown when they aren't the same. i brushed it off as a symptom of autism, does anyone else feel the same way as me? looking for any advice.

Even now I still have things that make me ask myself why I do something. I dont like wearing socks, okay with anything else but socks are a problem for me. If they are the wrong feel, i just can’t wear them.

 

[Au Naturel]

i got diagnosed with autism in september of last year 2022, i felt like i finally got clarity but now im running into more questions. i was seeing a therapist after everything had happened. we were talking and she mentioned the need of my shoelaces to be the same tightness is a sign of OCD. i can't wear laces on shoes because i will have a meltdown when they aren't the same. i brushed it off as a symptom of autism, does anyone else feel the same way as me? looking for any advice.

The laces are a symptom of autism. Often autistic people will require a high degree of uniformity/regularity in areas where the more neurotypical don't care. I don't know if it is genuine OCD but it has a lot of similarities. Have you ever asked yourself why you need this?

 

[madisen622]

The laces are a symptom of autism. Often autistic people will require a high degree of uniformity/regularity in areas where the more neurotypical don't care. I don't know if it is genuine OCD but it has a lot of similarities. Have you ever asked yourself why you need this?

okay, that's a relief to hear thank you! i have asked myself before yes, i couldn't quite come up with a reason it just felt wrong? i haven't worn them in a very long time because it does cause a lot of meltdowns to ensue.

 

[Darkkin]

Or the toes of your socks being even slightly skewed. It feels wrong.