I got called a "Deaf C***" at work today! Should I say anything officially to the Manager?

[Mr Allen]

Topic.

It was about 1.30 PM and I finished at 2 PM but my Hearing aid battery died so I had to go upstairs to the Staff room to ask if someone could change it as I can't do it myself.

Anyway one of my Colleagues changed the battery, and thinking I couldn't hear him, but I did, he called me a "Deaf C***", a few years ago if ANYONE had called me that word I would've battered them, but I just said "I heard and will remember that!".

I am in 2 minds about taking this up officially with Gemma, the Boss, as I don't want to rock the Boat at work and make an atmosphere, but on the other hand, the guy insulted me so by rights he committed a "Hate crime" against me because I'm deaf, which is classed as a disability under the DDA.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Don't stand for it.

 

[Mr Allen]

Thing is though, I do think I should mention it off the record to Gemma, but not make a "thing" of it because when I spoke to Dad earlier about it he said not to say anything as it would open up a "Can of Worms" (in his words).

 

[Judge]

From what I see, your DDA of 1995 was repealed and replaced by the Equality Act of 2010. Where employers and service providers are under a duty to make reasonable adjustments and/or accommodations to their workplaces to overcome barriers experienced by disabled people.

But even then, it's all still just a matter of civil- not criminal law. So whether your employer even reacts to this is debatable. In this respect your father might be right.

Unless of course you have the resources and resolve to defend yourself to the authorities. But over a single slur? Bad idea. Even on our side of the pond it takes much more than a mere slur to constitute and litigate a civil wrong.

Though if it happens again you might want to report it to your supervisor as an unwelcome trend rather than a "hate crime".

 

[Sylar]

Approach the boss about it, just "off the record". I can see how trying to make a formal complaint could cause trouble but you can't allow it even if it turns out the person didn't mean it in a serious way.

Don't make a fuss about it but make her aware. If it happens again then you complain properly so action can be taken.

And good on you for not hitting him.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I hope you don't mind that I changed the title. There's no such word as "manageress" so it was bugging me a little bit.

 

[tree]

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/manageress

Manageress is a word.
"C*nt" is a word.

Of the two, only the second
bothers me.

 

[Kirsty]

Yeah, change it back.

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

Presumably, this took place in a charity shop, as that's where you've said you work on previous posts. Admittedly, I don't know which charity you work for, but it makes me wonder if the colleague should be working there! We all have our off days, but if he'd said it to, or in front of, customers, he'd be disciplined. As far as you know, was this a one-off, or has he made similar comments before?
If it was a one-off, let it pass, on the assumption he knows he was in the wrong and won't do it again. If it's a frequent occurrence, or he does it again, then have a word with the boss.

 

[Mr Allen]

I hope you don't mind that I changed the title. There's no such word as "manageress" so it was bugging me a little bit.

Manageress is a female Manager, it's in the OED (Oxford English Dictionary).

 

[Mr Allen]

Presumably, this took place in a charity shop, as that's where you've said you work on previous posts. Admittedly, I don't know which charity you work for, but it makes me wonder if the colleague should be working there! We all have our off days, but if he'd said it to, or in front of, customers, he'd be disciplined. As far as you know, was this a one-off, or has he made similar comments before?
If it was a one-off, let it pass, on the assumption he knows he was in the wrong and won't do it again. If it's a frequent occurrence, or he does it again, then have a word with the boss.

I work for the PDSA.

 

[Suzanne]

I so get you, with the hesitating to make waves and having tons of people say not to, but if it were me, I would report it, because that is just the most repulsive thing to say to anyone and that person is proving themselves, that they are not to be trusted if they have no issue with using such nasty words.

It actually makes my skin crawl and that is even with you using astrixs ( sorry if that is the wrong spelling).

I do like your response though; how very clever that was; rather than hitting back with violence.

 

[sonnesun]

I guess we naturally learn to grow a thicker skin as always hitting back gets tiring after a while. I had to also let things pass a little more than before, not immediately jump the gun so much just to make sure I'm not overeacting. But yeah if it happens again, then have a quiet word with the manageress.

I'm unsure why certain feminine terms bugs some people. No different to master/mistress, priestess or princess. Embrace and own them as equal to the male terms rather than deem them lesser or weaker by adopting the masculine male equivalent instead, as to me to disown these words is to inadvertently and wrongly view femininity as some kind of weakness, the total opposite of feminism

 

[NateSean]

Thing is though, I do think I should mention it off the record to Gemma, but not make a "thing" of it (in his words).

If you don't make a "thing" of it now, it will become a bigger "thing" later. This is not appropriate workplace behavior and if nothing else, you're making a "thing" of it will make other people who could become victims of this abuse later on a lot safer.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I guess we naturally learn to grow a thicker skin as always hitting back gets tiring after a while. I had to also let things pass a little more than before, not immediately jump the gun so much just to make sure I'm not overeacting. But yeah if it happens again, then have a quiet word with the manageress.

I'm unsure why certain feminine terms bugs some people. No different to master/mistress, priestess or princess. Embrace and own them as equal to the male terms rather than deem them lesser or weaker by adopting the masculine male equivalent instead, as to me to disown these words is to inadvertently and wrongly view femininity as some kind of weakness, the total opposite of feminism

It's not that feminine terms bug me. It's that I have never ever ever before in my life heard someone use this word. So I assumed it was written by mistake. I looked it up online right now, and it turns out it is listed in online dictionaries, but they all call it "rare" or "obsolete" or things like that.

 

[Mr Allen]

Presumably, this took place in a charity shop, as that's where you've said you work on previous posts. Admittedly, I don't know which charity you work for, but it makes me wonder if the colleague should be working there! We all have our off days, but if he'd said it to, or in front of, customers, he'd be disciplined. As far as you know, was this a one-off, or has he made similar comments before?
If it was a one-off, let it pass, on the assumption he knows he was in the wrong and won't do it again. If it's a frequent occurrence, or he does it again, then have a word with the boss.

Sorry, but the fact it's a Charity shop is completely irrelevant, contrary to popular belief a Charity shop is still a place of work, therefore, I didn't, but I still think I should have made an official complaint and got Barry fired.

 

[xDominiel]

Don't take **** from people ever, I've made that mistake way too many times, it only sends the message to the scum that they can continue acting like that with no consequenses. If there is a way to report such behavior, do it.

 

[Alcyon]

In that this incident is long over and the OP is no longer at that workplace, this question is moot.

But, I didn't become a world-class contrarian by letting slip by an opportunity to be the only one to say "no, don't."

It should be noted that the picture painted is not one depicting a man being subjected to continual, systemic harassment. Nor does there seem to be a threat of physical violence. If either, especially the latter, was the case a different response would be appropriate.

This position against speaking up is informed by my experience, and it took me quite awhile to figure out what goes on in a situation like this. Crudely put, to get the point across, nobody likes a rat. Period. Not the person being turned in. Not the manager who now may be required to do extra work and be put in a position of liability. And not one's co-workers, who will now wonder if the aggrieved party can be trusted. And it's not likely that there is any going back once started down this road.

I consciously ask, in situations like this, what's behind the offender's words? I presume he's there because he too is dealing with something. Is he always foul-mouthed? Is he exasperated in the moment, or is he always frustrated? What would I gain by turning him in, what would I lose? Do I have to take action right now, or can it wait?...hint: it's always "I can wait."

Rich, I think you handled the situation brilliantly. You didn't let it slip by; you let him know that you heard it, and found it objectionable. You didn't punch his lights out. And you got a second opinion, in this case from your dad.

What you were called, and far, far worse, was just the every day language of almost every job I've ever worked. I myself got very good at giving back what I took, with interest. There aren't enough **** or ----- to fully capture what my good-natured reply to your workmate's statement would have been.

 

[Mr Allen]

In that this incident is long over and the OP is no longer at that workplace, this question is moot.

But, I didn't become a world-class contrarian by letting slip by an opportunity to be the only one to say "no, don't."

It should be noted that the picture painted is not one depicting a man being subjected to continual, systemic harassment. Nor does there seem to be a threat of physical violence. If either, especially the latter, was the case a different response would be appropriate.

This position against speaking up is informed by my experience, and it took me quite awhile to figure out what goes on in a situation like this. Crudely put, to get the point across, nobody likes a rat. Period. Not the person being turned in. Not the manager who now may be required to do extra work and be put in a position of liability. And not one's co-workers, who will now wonder if the aggrieved party can be trusted. And it's not likely that there is any going back once started down this road.

I consciously ask, in situations like this, what's behind the offender's words? I presume he's there because he too is dealing with something. Is he always foul-mouthed? Is he exasperated in the moment, or is he always frustrated? What would I gain by turning him in, what would I lose? Do I have to take action right now, or can it wait?...hint: it's always "I can wait."

Rich, I think you handled the situation brilliantly. You didn't let it slip by; you let him know that you heard it, and found it objectionable. You didn't punch his lights out. And you got a second opinion, in this case from your dad.

What you were called, and far, far worse, was just the every day language of almost every job I've ever worked. I myself got very good at giving back what I took, with interest. There aren't enough **** or ----- to fully capture what my good-natured reply to your workmate's statement would have been.

On the contrary I still work there.

As I said in the OP, a few years ago I would've belted the guy and would probably be posting from inside a Jail Cell now but I shrugged it off and will keep a close eye on the guy's behaviour toward me in future, if he goes too far again I WILL tell either Gemma or Aaron in their official capacity as the Bosses.

 

[Aeolienne]

Are you a member of a union?