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I have a crush and i really want to make a move, i just don't know how

E

eternalsunshine

New Member
I've never been in a relationship, my asperger has always put some limits that made people go away, they get bored or they only see me as a friend... i even tried dating apps but it didn't work, it made me feel frustrated... now, i have a crush on a guy i've seen on social media, he's from the same town as i am and i remember i saw him while i was using dating apps... i feel like i'm ready to be in a relationship and i'm really sure i want to know more about this guy, i just don't know what to do, i feel nervous wondering about how to start a conversation with him or how to make him notice me... i really really want to try, but i don't want him to think i'm obsessed or whatever, any advices?
 
If he's still on those dating apps, maybe reach out to him there?

It might scare him off that you approach him on random social media and say "hi i saw you on a dating app."
 
I’m a man. 50 years old.I have plenty of friends who are guys, young and old. My advice is really simple. DO IT!

We aren’t complicated and intricate like ladies can be. If he’s the type of person that you would choose to be a partner with, he will be flattered that you are interested. And even if you sound a little desperate (not a lot…. Just a little), it’s endearing.

And if it doesn’t work out, what have you lost? You already don’t have him in your life.
 
This is a tough one. Keep your options open and start looking around. Sending a 'random' friend request without creating more context could be odd.

I think I would send ONE message to this guy you're interested in and tell him that you saw his social media. You really like his persona and you were wondering if he'd be interested to chat more 1-1.
 
ABSOLUTELY- GO FOR IT! Contact him via text, call, on the dating app, skywriting, whatever but don't hold back! You have everything to gain, and nothing to lose. However, that being said, don't throw yourself at him - he may not be the man of your dreams. Talk, date, plan low-key casual outings, and find out more. But, trust me, he will be happy to have you reach out. And, be yourself. You are the one and only, the unique being in the entire universe. And being phony/disingenuous at the start always backfires. Put your best foot forward, of course, but don't try to be something you are not. Want a conversation starter: Ask him if he is as frustrated using dating apps as you are! Good luck.
 
First, you put a feeler out there. If he doesn't respond, then it's not happening. If he responds, maybe a coffee date? That's safer than meeting in a place where harm could come to you. That meeting will help establish if you have chemistry, and if the guy is a serial dater. Good luck.
 
Grab a cup of coffee? Sounds like an excellent starter. Maybe it goes well, maybe not, but it is low key and easy, safe and public, and with a ready-made out if thigs don't go well (ie: well, I really have to get off to my job....) and hopeflly not too stressful for either. Good luck.
 
When I made such a move way outside my comfort zone, I didn't think about it. I just did it. It was a crazy thing to do, but I couldn't help myself. I just had to get to know her.

The best example I ever had in pushing myself beyond on my own self-imposed barriers. The next month she moved in with me.
 
You can only try your best in terms of trying to garner some interest from a guy.

Some guys will be impressed by a female simply reaching out to them - it would depend on how available they are and how 'in-demand' they are I suppose.

Don't put all your hopes into the guy at this point though, you don't know what is going to unfold (if anything) at this point.
 
shocking question since the OP is a woman and we all know that for all time, 99 percent of the time, women are normally never the ones to bluntly express interest in a man first or to be the one to make a move on a man they like.
 
You CAN do this. No, it is not easy. No, it will not be comfortable at all. Yes, you will have doubts and second thoughts. BUT you can do this. And, do it or not, the earth will still be turning on it's axis, the sun will rise tomorrow. Progress is made in slow steps towards a goal. So, go for it. Reach out. Try, and if you fail, regroup and try again. And, good luck. We're all pulling for you. Your success is our success!
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
shocking question since the OP is a woman and we all know that for all time, 99 percent of the time, women are normally never the ones to bluntly express interest in a man first or to be the one to make a move on a man they like.
Click to expand...
This case is different she is one of us, It may work, having been on the receiving side of this many times before I met my future wife upstairs in my rooming house.
 
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