foubertsfou
Well-Known Member
Hi, I'm here because I have ever felt to be "strange" and every people I met in my life said the same: I like to be different, I can afford it.
What I recently discovered is that I have a lot in common with people affected by AS, really too much to be a coincidence.
Let's start from what it makes me different from someone who has AS: I usually do not avoid eye contact, but I'm afraid that in some way the person in front of me may be offended (except if I know enough this person), so this is still uncomfortable for me.
Maturity wiped away my tendence to get angry: today I'm really calm and rational and I'm able to understand when someone is joking or not and I never take literally what someone is saying, on the contrary I love to have creative conversations full of jokes and wordplays, say unexpected things, use my own vocabulary, use synesthesias, depending on situations.
The last thing is that I can be very sociable when I'm with only an other person (known or unknown) or a group of close friends who know me and understand my behaviour, I can even talk a lot! :lol:
Then come the bad news: when I'm with other 2 or 3 people which I don't know very much I have difficulties in speaking to them, I can even don't say a word. I would like to talk to them, but I can't find nothing useful to say!
For this reason my social life is complicated, I have to trust people first.
When I was a child I preferred to play only with maximum 1 friend at time otherwise I became very jealous, groups made me feel uncomfortable.
I also prefer to do things on my own, other people would pollute my work, despite the fact I love to compare my ideas with people who I think they are worthy and particularly mind-opened (they are so rare!)
I'm also very courious when I see unusual people, they attract me like a bee on the honey.
I'm a perfectionist: if something is not perfect, then throw it away!
In general I'm extremely reserved, even against my best friends and my family.
I won't mention the other symptoms, because they're common to AS.
In the end I must say what it makes me special: first I'm a physicist, I'm just a good student, I don't think to be particularly talented (I hate studying).
But there's something which I discovered during my adolescence that I think it is unexplainable (no musical training until that time): I can compose music in my head with ridiculous easiness, creating very catchy melodies and complete arrangements.
In fact I always have a different song/piece running inside my head, in every moment of day and night (yes, also when I'm sleeping), it's like to train continuously at doing this and sometimes it is very frustrating because I can't switch it off, so when I want to compose something I'm always ready to do it.
Shame that I'm not good enough in realising my ideas: during the process I miss harmonies and notes, I lost concentration and forget the most part of the idea.
The other thing is what makes me costantly inspired: I have a kind of colouful vision of the world,I have my own world where I can go when the real life is boring, pure daydreaming.
Let's say: I don't feel "happy" anymore since when I moved from my childhood's town and that fact is still an insane obsession for me, it changed my life forever, I will never accept it.
But during these years I developed something different, it's like having a gradient of feelings, a rainbow of sensations that I didn't felt before: I can perceive the good side in negative feelings, for this reason sometimes they make me feel good.
Sorry for the length, hope to have your opinion, thank you.
What I recently discovered is that I have a lot in common with people affected by AS, really too much to be a coincidence.
Let's start from what it makes me different from someone who has AS: I usually do not avoid eye contact, but I'm afraid that in some way the person in front of me may be offended (except if I know enough this person), so this is still uncomfortable for me.
Maturity wiped away my tendence to get angry: today I'm really calm and rational and I'm able to understand when someone is joking or not and I never take literally what someone is saying, on the contrary I love to have creative conversations full of jokes and wordplays, say unexpected things, use my own vocabulary, use synesthesias, depending on situations.
The last thing is that I can be very sociable when I'm with only an other person (known or unknown) or a group of close friends who know me and understand my behaviour, I can even talk a lot! :lol:
Then come the bad news: when I'm with other 2 or 3 people which I don't know very much I have difficulties in speaking to them, I can even don't say a word. I would like to talk to them, but I can't find nothing useful to say!
For this reason my social life is complicated, I have to trust people first.
When I was a child I preferred to play only with maximum 1 friend at time otherwise I became very jealous, groups made me feel uncomfortable.
I also prefer to do things on my own, other people would pollute my work, despite the fact I love to compare my ideas with people who I think they are worthy and particularly mind-opened (they are so rare!)
I'm also very courious when I see unusual people, they attract me like a bee on the honey.
I'm a perfectionist: if something is not perfect, then throw it away!
In general I'm extremely reserved, even against my best friends and my family.
I won't mention the other symptoms, because they're common to AS.
In the end I must say what it makes me special: first I'm a physicist, I'm just a good student, I don't think to be particularly talented (I hate studying).
But there's something which I discovered during my adolescence that I think it is unexplainable (no musical training until that time): I can compose music in my head with ridiculous easiness, creating very catchy melodies and complete arrangements.
In fact I always have a different song/piece running inside my head, in every moment of day and night (yes, also when I'm sleeping), it's like to train continuously at doing this and sometimes it is very frustrating because I can't switch it off, so when I want to compose something I'm always ready to do it.
Shame that I'm not good enough in realising my ideas: during the process I miss harmonies and notes, I lost concentration and forget the most part of the idea.
The other thing is what makes me costantly inspired: I have a kind of colouful vision of the world,I have my own world where I can go when the real life is boring, pure daydreaming.
Let's say: I don't feel "happy" anymore since when I moved from my childhood's town and that fact is still an insane obsession for me, it changed my life forever, I will never accept it.
But during these years I developed something different, it's like having a gradient of feelings, a rainbow of sensations that I didn't felt before: I can perceive the good side in negative feelings, for this reason sometimes they make me feel good.
Sorry for the length, hope to have your opinion, thank you.
