I'm wondering Gerald if your mother's neglect and inattention towards you is a big reason why you feel you needed more attention from females as a guy when you were younger or why you perceived lack of attention from other females there. I mean, if your own mother did not give you attention as the attention was on herself and her own needs, and if she did not want you to grow socially with women, from what you said in another thread, this traumatized you so much that perhaps you began to think other females were ignoring you too or thinking you were not worthy of attention from them as well. I feel it is possible thus that your perceptions of how you were treated by other females as growing male was at least a bit off as you subconsciously were looking too much for signs and symptoms of your mother in them or you assumed those other females felt the same way as your mother.
From what I remember through your posts, although I have no doubt you felt shunned or rejected by females those years, and they probably did not give you the attention you needed then, I think it's possible that you just needed more attention from them because of your neglectful and self-centered mother and you wanting to feel validated there. Many guys in our schools could have been given almost the same limited attention from females as you and I, which was not much, but not necessarily was it because they did not notice us or like us, but we needed to feel some female cared. Also, realize back in my day females were less likely to initiate giving much attention to guys unless some really athletic or outwardly very social or initiating type. Most guys I knew in school were not this way but average, more silent or guys with issues. They were mostly treated the same in terms of not much attention from females, but some bullied more obviously. Females mostly talked to females if guys were not very social or popular. At least 75% of the guys in my classes from what I saw were not socializing much with females.
But, this should not suggest females were wrong there or that the majority of those guys were not noticed for our good traits.. Females may then have been often brought up to let the man lead, or they could be taught that certain guys should be given the most attention as being popular as a female can be gotten through a relationship with a popular male, or maybe they were taught through raising and society to gravitate to more exciting, stronger or confident ones. Or if the guy gave lots of attention to them, that was flattering to them, and more likely to be reciprocated to the guy perhaps. Females could have been thus just as attracted to us and wanting to give us attention, but they could have been afraid to approach us because they were taught to not initiate with guys much, or not knowing our desires or seeing our hidden strengths, or as they were immature to really know what could be best for a long-lasting friendship or relationship. I mean, as females age their priorities can change, as their experiences, mindsets and needs may change, and perhaps they become wiser too I feel, looking further beneath the surface and away from just the present, looking more within and to the future too, besides valuing other traits or abilities in guys.
Times have changed some since our days too. More women are being more assertive and understanding that popularity is not necessarily so important in a friend or partner, if those women are advancing themselves, or if prior norms are changing through culture change, realizing that strength and attractiveness can show up in many ways and that there is more than meets the eye on surface level. And that is why more typical or atypical males can get more opportunities later in life, and as guys themselves perhaps can be more open minded in what they seek from females as they age and mature too. I understand though Gerald that you feel you missed out on a lot as child, teen and younger adult. So, did I. So many average guys went through that too. However, I think those with very traumatic upbringings sometimes take rejections often to a different level. But understand that sometimes those rejections are not so much more than the typical person; we just can sense wrongs, inattention and rejections more, be stung by them more, or process things more as rejections, when in reality, it was our fragile sensitivities, egos and extreme vigilance that distorted or made greater or more some of those upsetting things.
In my case, I cannot change the past, but I learned from the past, later healed through my own self-help attempts there, and I then decided to accept my past, appreciate who I was all those years, and I decided to focus on trying my best to assist others to help them cope with, recover from, or to not have to go through some things I went through. As well, I cannot relive my younger days as I am married, nor would I want to if I was single now. Maybe I am old fashioned there. My attention needs to be on my wife and kids, not wanting to experience things I missed out on earlier on that I feel could disrespect them or the family bond. Those experiences I missed would not have been necessarily exciting to me anyway at that time, but likely would have made my life worse as I since realized I value other things than sexual intimacy and physical closeness with others. For those who need that, great, and I wish them well, but not if it could one day strain their current strong relationship by having the focus too much on them and reliving their past perceived failures or fantasies. Past trauma and pain can be relieved in other ways.
You should absolutely let it boost your self esteem! 
