missy72744
New Member
hello my name is malissa i am nero typical women who is with a highly fuctioning autistic man. the difficult part is he dont seem to get that he is autistic. ive known this man for 8 years started off as friends with benift type thing. we use to have so much fun together, play video games make sex tapes lol all kinds of stuff. but even though we had fun together back then i was in a bad spot in my life lost control in a depression i had gotten into before i meet him. i was doing bad things to deal with my past and just pain in general. anyway i meet him and even though my world was dark he was like a shining star to me a little light at the edge of a dark cloud. he was my best friend and in a moment when i need his help the most he helped me. so needless to say i fell this man so hard i didnt couldnt even begin to explain. it was like he was my hero. well because i fell in love with him i wanted to be with him all the time. i wanted him to take care of me till i passed the posions i had in my body, and then look for a job and just be with him. honestly i didnt know then he had autism because in those days i saw him once a week and we always did fun stuff video games we had that stuff in common. he even showed desire to have sex with me or try to bargin with me to get me in bed.lol which always worked. but then i let my emotions go and told him i was in love with him and that if he took me in and took care of me i would only ever be his. i was doing stuff at moment for money that if i were be in a relationship i wouldnt be ok doing. so anyway with all of that i was doing and the fact he had i guess a friend/girlfriend never really clarifiend that one to me but not important but the girl had stolen every thing he had. i guess he came home from work one day with everything he owned gone. so needless to say he was scared about it, and probley more traumatized by that event then i thought. but like i said before i didnt know he had autism, i just thought the way we had sex was him being shy lol. anyways i got really upset when he said well he didnt exactly say no. he i could be there while he was but i had to leave and go elsewhere while he worked. and come home when he did. but i mean i could not understand for the life of me how a man could say he loves you to wants to be with you too but is ok with you being outside from 4 in the morning till like 8 in the afternoon. so after a couple times me coming back begging and him trying to be with me but in his way the way he wanted the things to be, i quit trying for a little while. and i decided to find me a decent boy y try to get my act together and i did. but not using to much precaution i ended up pregnant two months later. well that sure got me clean. it was my first child. i was so excited. so about two month into pregnacy i got an email from my angel saying he missed me he even made a compermise with me about everything. but it was to late. i thought that if he couldnt except me before how i was he definatly wouldnt with a baby. that was the biggest mistake i made misjudging him. when my daughters dad decided that he wanted to leave the city i went one more time to see him to see if by chance he would take me with her. but by my dumb luck i got there to late. he had a girlfriend. so make story shorter here i am 4 years later had another baby. came back to this city. came looking for him just to see how he was doing and if he was ok, and also not to lie, i wanted to know if he was single yet. and he was so i took the shot. and did everything in my power to finally be with this man, i wanted so badly for all those years. now here where gets intresting. you see i knew before we never had kissed or cuddled or showed much affection in a romantic type way cause it just wasnt like that then. but now this was suppose to be diffrent i for years dreamed of holding him kissing him beening close to him. and the angel that i left behind 4 years ago wasnt the same it was like someone broke his very soul and crushed him. when i got there he was very unhealthy pale you could tell he was not in good condition with dark rings under his eyes. but even all that i did see imperfections i saw the man i love falling to pieces and i had not been there to pick him up or protect him. all this because i misjudged him. and he did not give me trust. all though thinking back i dont really blame him. so anyway i digress, he was way shyer than before like scared of any sudden movement i made at him. like really scared. even when i told him it was ok i wasnt going to hurt him. still he was very skiddish. a nervous reck if i got to close. i wanted so bad to see him happy again and heal everything that caused him pain. that i started to spoil that man so much it was working he was gaining weight and everything. it look so much better. know at this point i still dont know he has autism. so about three months went by what small little things he did that i could live with quickly turned to things i thought he did cause he didnt want to be with me. or desire me or care. after lisoning to me and i told her every embarssing detail of my life that somehow on my own i thought i could not please or that he was using me so many bad thoughts went through my head. but my friend suggested i read up on a condition called autism. so i did. and though it did help some, the problem seemed and still is today that he doesnt think he has nothing wrong. there fore he is fine. and everything is ok. seems to always think i am picking fights. i have read so much on this latly that i think i can name the symtoms without looking. however when i first learned of the disorder i did do enough research. and i didnt think it impacted your relationship so much expecially if the autistic partner is in denial. but when i first understood this is what caused his problems with understanding me sometimes and read on some of the things they go through, plus what i knew he had gone through, made me feel horriable and sorry for him and top of the fact that i am in love with him. well i was under the impression that if i gave him everything he wanted new tv computer what ever he wanted he would beable to get past the hurt and forget the girls who did him wrong. but nothing i have done helps. but i am starting to understand its because i didnt really understand what was going on in his mind how this disorder really affects him. or how he saw things so diffrently i kinda thought it just ment they were super siensitive. there for when i give him all he wants and he still aint affectionate or careing or doesnt seem to get why your upset about certain things. it has started sending me into a depression quite fast. i am at a point that i need help and knowlege how to deal with this thing and really understand what is really affected by his autism and what is not. what things even if there difficult he will beable to work on and what not. but first i need help getting him to accept he has this issue i think thats the first step to beable to live peacefully. then seeing clearly el de que mis ideas y gustos no son non importantes por mi. y tango dercho de importarme una cosa mucho, que no nadamas por que dice que no es importa no quiere dicer que no importa. y prender junto que mas nessita el otro person por estar feliz pero yo nessito que mi ayuda quien saya que tene un idea como aser funcionar eso. por que si ves de mi cuenta no tene que lo deje porque mi voy con otro en si llega la opertudiad estar con el dejo todo por ereme con el
