I love silence even around people

[RemyZee]

I love silence. I mean really love it, such that when it is invaded I become frantic. Such that when I'm around an obnoxious sound, even a tiny one, I want to crawl under the carpet the get away from it. But silence. I love it. This sounds weird but when I am alone and silent it is like the silence is a muscle--something strong, essential to life, and working from within. And it's not the same as being" "alone" although generally I'm silent when with people too...and have evolved as I've turned older to be more comfortable with my own silence in the presence of others. At the same time, NT people can be so nervous around silence--I don't think autistic people are bothered quite as much by it. But I am lucky to get to have silence in my life, and at times long periods of silence. It feels so good. And it's getting easier as I've gotten older to be quiet around other people and comfortable with it, even though I can visually see people getting uncomfortable around me...and I know it is because II am saying so little, and when I do venture to say something it gets totally tangled up. There are time's when it's not as difficult but it takes REALLY knowing someone before I can talk properly around them. Sadly, a lot of potential friends can evaporate when they see you are having a hard time with connecting to them. And I haven't really met anyone yet besides other autistic people who stay--why would they want to go out for a walk together if you can't say anything, and when you do, you sometimes can say things that are bizarre. I really don't hold it against people that they need to tallk to feel normal. But I can't give that to the, and don't want to. But silence, I crave it when I don't have it. Then, Everywhere there is this cackling. Do you think it's an autistic thing to crave silence, and how do you feel about it?

 

[Judge]

One of my fondest memories.

My girlfriend and I would spend Sunday mornings not saying much of anything to each other. Enjoying the moment on a different level. With my NT girlfriend actually enjoying the intentional silence as well. Though at the time neither of us knew of my autism. And it probably wouldn't have mattered.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I can only appreciate silence in relative, or theoretical terms. I do like low ambient sound levels. But I have never heard silence in my life. When the environmental noise levels go down, my tinnitus does not. So I hear two high pitched tones continuously.

But yes, it's nice to not have to engage in talking all the time when others are around.

 

[Misty Avich]

I'm unfortunate enough to live below a family, so I only get some sort of silence when I use NC headphones or earplugs. I'd still like to hear silence though, or lovely sounds like the rain pouring outside. I haven't been able to hear sounds of nature in my own home for three years.
If I do take my headphones off all I can hear is thump, bang, bump, thud, scrape, rinse and repeat, all day and practically all night too.

Yet I'm supposed to just sit back and tolerate it because "it's a family" and so I must be "empathetic" and all that crap. Um, no, sorry, being a bit selfish here but it's my living space we're talking about. So unfair.

 

[SusanLR]

Tinnitus started around age 12 so I have not been able to enjoy total silence.
I cannot tolerate overly loud situations either. That seems to be an auditory overstimulation issue.

Nature sounds, (except for loud thunder), are nice. And to get through the day alone I keep soft ambient music playing through the house.

It is nice to be with someone who doesn't talk constantly or expect me to talk constantly. I watch TV with my house companion at night after dinner and we do not talk while watching. Only problem is he is hard of hearing and plays the TV louder than I like. Every form of refuge!

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't like when people have background music playing too loud. My sister's partner is the sort that loves music and whenever you go to their apartment it's like walking into a disco. He has it especially loud if the neighbours aren't in, company or no company. It's not a sensory issue with me, it's just distracting and I feel I can't chat to my sister properly and she can't chat to me properly. So yeah, sometimes I do like silence, or at least quiet background music.