He's possibly a good listener? You could be too.
@Tony Ramirez,...THIS is great advice.
Generally speaking:
If there is one thing that I have learned and heard repeatedly by psychologists and people, in general,...is that sometimes people just want to be heard,...they want to be listened to. Furthermore, I would also suggest, that because of the differences in the "typical" male and females brains,...men, when they get into these emotional, social, relationship conversations with women,...men tend to offer logical, rational advice on how to "fix" the situation. Seems like a logical thing to do,...but is quite often the wrong thing to do with females. Most often females approach things from an emotional perspective, because that's where a good chunk of their intelligence lies, and they just want you to shut the "F" up, listen, and validate their feelings,...and they don't want you to "fix" or "repair". If you are interrupting her train of thought with helpful advice, it can be rather disruptive,...and counterproductive. There are times to open your mouth and say something,...and that is to validate her feelings. An intelligent female often has the mental tools to work things out on her own,...she doesn't need your help. If she is trying to work something out in her mind,...the first step for most women is to talk about it. How to fix the situation comes later. On the other hand, stereotypically, males go to other males regarding how to fix something,...they bypass that "feelings part" and want to get to the heart of the matter,...and that's a perfectly good dynamic sometimes,...but don't make that mistake with women unless they are specifically asking you how to fix something.
I will do this frequently with my wife. She comes home from work, often frustrated, tired, emotionally drained. Then I will say,
"So, how was work?" Now, obviously, she had a crappy day at work,...I know that,...but what I am doing is getting her to "vent". I will ask her those questions,...then I shut up and listen. We both know there isn't anything that I am going to say or do that will fix anything,...seriously, that's not the point. However, psychologically, if she doesn't expel all that pent up emotional energy,...it consumes her mood,...just a crabby, grumpy person to deal with. It effects her ability to sleep,...and the next day, she's physically and mentally "trashed". So,...I get her to vent all that energy,...I give her a hug and and kiss,...NOW we can start the remaining part of the day as two pleasant human beings.
For many women who haven't experienced this from the men in their lives,...this is a "breathe of fresh air",...and if you can be that "someone" for another person,...boy, that's a precious thing.
As an autistic male working in a predominantly female workplace,...surprisingly,...or not,...my lack of verbal intelligence has made me one of those "listening posts". Now,...that I am older and wiser with this regard,...and when I see someone having a particularly stressful day, I may corner them a bit and simply ask how they are handling this or that,...and then the emotional flood gates open as I am standing next to them, I am postured with my head down so neither of us have to look each other in the eye and start crying, I am off to the side a bit with each other's ear by our mouths in a rather private conversation, hands in my pockets, and am intently listening to everything they have to say. I don't have to offer anything, but my ear and occasional words of encouragement. It's an amazing thing,...just listening,...she is left feeling the weight has been lifted, a smile is given, and I move along with my day.
I know I can't care about things like that but I saw them every day for a while and it was too sad. Poor little duck. I wish I hadn't seen them. I was thinking about writing a story or a song called "The 13th Duck", but it would be too sad.
