I Might Never Be Good Enough For A Relationship

[KevinMao133]

In the past I have said many derogatory things about women, but it was because of RSD as well as years of abuse

Being abused, PUAd, was something I had a hard time getting out of. I tried to eliminate those negative emotions through coping but it wasn’t working

Truth is I don’t think I will be good enough for a relationship, since I am emotionally guarded and I also have a hard time getting intimate

Truth is, I am a nice guy and I give off big brother energy, rather than someone who is dateable. I am willing to help people who are in trouble since I know what it’s like to struggle, to be discriminated and live on edge every single day

I also treat women like men and I am not sexual in any type of ways. I don’t look good, nor do I care about my appearance

I talk to women and I treat them like people, though I’m extremely awkward since the inferiority complex will most likely, never go away

I feel like I’m living a world where it’s not accommodating and not friendly. I am speaking less and less in public, especially with people I don’t trust. I feel like my chance of dating is over before it even began

Something about me just seems off, and it is affecting my mood as well as productivity

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry to read this, it seems that you have written yourself off already. Alot of single people find happiness in owning a pet. lf l was single, l would definitely own cats. Have you ever thought about adopting a cat or dog?

 

[KevinMao133]

Sorry to read this, it seems that you have written yourself off already. Alot of single people find happiness in owning a pet. lf l was single, l would definitely own cats. Have you ever thought about adopting a cat or dog?

I don’t have the time

Could be depression but I’m tired of struggling emotionally. I wish I can be more stable and I’m doing everything I can to cope

 

[Aspychata]

As many others here do also. Have you thought about therapy at this point, just a place to talk safely about daily struggles? Since you are busy, a iinexpensive walking pad, they don't take up much space, and exercise really helps with feeling better. l have never left my gym feeling bad, it always raises my spirits. Finding small things to be thankful for a start. If you only dwell on thoughts of the negative aspects currently, that tends to dictate your overall mood, and soon you become overwhelmed. If you can step outside of yourself and realize that we all struggle in life and for a variety of reasons. You may not meet the perfect person, have the perfect job, hang out with perfect friends, but it dosen't change your value to yourself, you do matter, and we are glad you are at this site. I hope you can find a new passion that inspires you to get up everyday and find value in what you do.
My current passion is cooking, and navigating a complex medical issue for a friend.

 

[paloftoon]

@KevinMao133 , you have a self-awareness of what isn't attracting others to you. Since you mention it, you must have a desire for someone or at least benefits. It's never too late to start. Pick one thing and just try to work at it- it could be 5, 10, or 50 situps a day if you want to do something physical. Everything else can stay the same.

Maybe the one thing could be making a concentrated effort to learn how to speak to others properly and only express boundaries when you need to. You could try to work on more than one thing at the same time, but you don't have to. It could be overwhelming. Just start with one thing and it might just become more natural over time.

Something small like this- sometimes the small things can build up to other things. Just start with one thing under your control, let us know what you decide, and how it's working out.

 

[KevinMao133]

As many others here do also. Have you thought about therapy at this point, just a place to talk safely about daily struggles? Since you are busy, a iinexpensive walking pad, they don't take up much space, and exercise really helps with feeling better. l have never left my gym feeling bad, it always raises my spirits. Finding small things to be thankful for a start. If you only dwell on thoughts of the negative aspects currently, that tends to dictate your overall mood, and soon you become overwhelmed. If you can step outside of yourself and realize that we all struggle in life and for a variety of reasons. You may not meet the perfect person, have the perfect job, hang out with perfect friends, but it dosen't change your value to yourself, you do matter, and we are glad you are at this site. I hope you can find a new passion that inspires you to get up everyday and find value in what you do.
My current passion is cooking, and navigating a complex medical issue for a friend.

I am afraid to talk about things man

I don’t know, I’m afraid to be reprimanded

 

[Aspychata]

A true therapist is there to help you talk thru things, help you understand where your thought process may be skewed. You are never obligated to stay with a therapist if you feel they are unable to help you, or they are allowing their personal biases to over power the session. They are allowed to suggest things, but they aren't allowed to reprimand you.