I need help mentaly and physically

[LostInIsolation]

Im forced to live with my father because rent is too high where i live and where the rent is affordable, is in extremily dangerous neighborhoods where i can be shot just for the color of my skin.

Because of the way i have been treaded everywhere i have ever lived in this country, i have began to hate this country to the poing i actually enjoy seeing terrorist attacks against it, i have a fear due to the level of hatred i have grown towards americans and this country that might in the future do something extremily destructive. But at this moment i have no such desire as of yet.

As of now, i just want to find help, i have no friends, no family that makes me feel anything like love towards them, i feel like i am a guest in my fathers house, not family. I want friends and a life more than salvation at this point, i desperately need to move out of my fathers house into a place i can call home, the problem is, i have no help, no education or education on how to more, have zero tollerance for stress as even the smallest microbe of stress sends me into a panic attack, i live off 1600 ssd, my state is ranked worst of all 50 states for men with mental health, and i dont know what else to do except maybe use my fathers gun on myself and just end my life, i have been holding out hoping i could find help but i cant and with me being banned from renting government apartments i dont know what to do as i cant work, i cant drive, i have literaly no education, and know not what to do.

Death is seeming lik the only option, at this pont id volenteer for slave labor in nkorea over living in the usa, ive come to feeling like being an american is the worst punishment, the most disgusting vile sick joke god could ever bestow on me, and because i hate america to the point ide give china our nuclear codes if i had them, because of my hatred its made finding help 100% impossible.

I want out of this situation so bad that i have prayed to Lucifer himself in exchange for my soul to get me out of her at any cost. if only i could be deported it would be a blessing, but sadly i was born in this trash.

I just want to find help to move outta my fathers trailor and get on my own away from my pathetic esxcuse of a family that has ALWAYS treated me as 3rd world runt trash.

Please anyone if you know anyone that can help me get out of here and on my own, im begging for help i want out of here, because my only other option is using one of my fathers gun on myself while hes at the store or something.

 

[tree]

Have you tried contacting the local department of social services?

 

[lunarious]

Have you tried contacting the local department of social services?

Do that.

I am not American, but i recall when I was young the situation where I lived was vile. My neighbours trashed the 'camp' and pissed on the floors and threw garbage on every floor. They were angry and didn't say Hi when I saluted them, nor did they initiate the salutation.

But I remembered God says; "God does not change the situation of people before they change what is in them (or help them elsewhere in The Book)".

I set out to change The Situation with kill or be killed in my mind. Despite having this dark side of my mind I was being good and kind. I used peaceful words an controlled actions. As ASD1. I took the hits Devil threw at me. My friend and mentor said thei'd "punch back my teeth" and I treated that with Royal Tranquility. And set to help those same people that destroyed our camp.

The Grandson of my Prophet (pbuh @tree) said: "Life with Honor or Death with Honor". You don't want life without Honor and Generosity. So that's what I have to say. A man does not point at external factors, he points at himself.

 

[Rodafina]

Do you think you are in a position to consider volunteering somewhere? This would not solve all the problems you discussed, but it could be a chance to have structure in your week, build a sense of purpose, and meet people who could become friends. Also, sometimes by helping other humans or animals our own struggles can diminish.

 

[LostInIsolation]

Do that.

I am not American, but i recall when I was young the situation where I lived was vile. My neighbours trashed the 'camp' and pissed on the floors and threw garbage on every floor. They were angry and didn't say Hi when I saluted them, nor did they initiate the salutation.

But I remembered God says; "God does not change the situation of people before they change what is in them (or help them elsewhere in The Book)".

I set out to change The Situation with kill or be killed in my mind. Despite having this dark side of my mind I was being good and kind. I used peaceful words an controlled actions. As ASD1. I took the hits Devil threw at me. My friend and mentor said thei'd "punch back my teeth" and I treated that with Royal Tranquility. And set to help those same people that destroyed our camp.

The Grandson of my Prophet (pbuh @tree) said: "Life with Honor or Death with Honor". You don't want life without Honor and Generosity. So that's what I have to say. A man does not point at external factors, he points at himself.

i have been to every online vurtual help meeting imaginable, but religon tor my family apart, caused one member to kill herself on christmas, religon is the last thing i want to turn too. As a child i was beaten for faling asleep in class because i was on nearlly every medication, was in and out 13 hospitals for years only to then be placed in an extremily corrupt assisted living from program to program i was beat up, spit on, cussed out by my drug dealing racist staff members, finally old enough to sign my self out i was then rejected by my family, had no help with any servive and every person i met no matter where i went always treated me like trash, yet every person i met online that lived outside the usa, was so kind, caring ect, then one day met a chinese girl whom i became so close to that her grandma makes jokes like if i was there we would be married, her mom said in front of my own mother, "God made a mistake making you born there, you born my child, you live much better, we love and take care of family here" I cried and it made me hate god because he did something so sick and twisted to birth me in such a disgustic trash place like the usa.



Im sorry if people hate to hear me talk junk about the usa but every american ive met is extremely unhelpful because they are either hateful and evil or because they are just evil, and one of the worst parts is the fact they always try to justify if by saying the lord can help, the lord can help. lord is a horrable father.

Only a horrable father would see his child suffering then sit back and watch while they suffer and are in emotional and physical pain, a real father would jum in and help him, but when the flaming dragon asks god whatr kinda suffering it can inflict on a person, god has the audacity to tell and allow him to even approch his child. **** THAT! ive seen no proof that god gives a **** about anything!