Hey guys. I am a freshman in high school in my 3rd semester and I need a LOT of advice. Part of my Aspergers is only wanting to do things I like. Why is this an issue? I do not like to study anything I find boring, which I have to do a lot of at the moment. Because I do not like it, I just simply don't do it. I know very well that you need to study in order to get into a top school, but I always have had trouble with doing things I find boring. Whenever I say I am going to study, I just play Train Simulator instead. This results of me getting Bs and Cs on tests. My average in a typical class is a 78, which is not good. But I do fear that I will not get into a good college, or even graduate high school! Can somebody help me with what I should do in order to be successful in the end?
That was definitely me throughout ALL of my public schooling.
I am a passion-driven person, and my main passion is art and creativity. If I cant' find a passionate drive behind something, I remain disinterested. Chronically disinterested.
Elementary and middle school were easier, academically speaking. At younger ages we were regularly offered art-themed methods of work. Then enter highschool. It was more of a 9-5 "shut up and work" atmosphere. It was not fun and tailored to "kids" anymore, not creativity-oriented. Teachers were not usually creative- no more writing books, designing game boards, illustrating history events, creating sculptures or dioramas- they just wanted the 4 page essay written in silence.
My saving grace was that highschool offered me the opportunity to choose my electives, and I was able to tailor 'most' of my credits and schooling around art classes. Pottery, graphic design, computer classes, art classes- they helped break up the hell of an average day at school. By senior year I was taking over half of my credits as art credits- even though I had exhausted every single class and was simply retaking repeat classes at this point. That's what pulled me through.
My worst subject was always geography/government/world civ. Nothing about geography or history sparks passion in me. I am interested in it to the extent of learning about our history in terms of social and political development and progression, but outside of that I don't give a hoot who the presidents were or where the states are or where X country is and what year they had that civil war under which king.
English and Math were okay; they challenged me to want to perfect doing something right. Memorizing and practicing the "correct" way of writing and speaking, and memorizing how to solve numerical problems; not exactly a passion, but a challenge that I enjoyed and was able to contend with.
Nowadays my motto is "If I don't wanna do it, I ain't gonna do it." Not on an indulgent level, not as an excuse to avoid or excuse thing. But on a literal level. I do what I enjoy and I do not do what I do not enjoy. Luckily, I enjoy things like learning, being responsible, being good to others, following the rules, and mostly other productive and non-destructive things.
I guess I'm sharing my experience just because I think this isn't far from commonplace here. I almost CAN'T force myself to do things I am not interested in, barring tricking myself into finding ways to make them interesting. My anxiety will shoot through the roof and I might just shut down if I keep trying to force myself, even now.
I'm going to insert what is STRICTLY MY OPINION based on my own experience.
I thought I was going to go to college. I first applied at the age of 12 but was rejected. I graduated at 17 and had a scholarship to an art school. But that scholarship fell through because they wanted me to start the semester immediately after graduation, but I wanted 6 months of freedom before starting college. So they canned my scholarship and I didn't go. Instead of going to college I started traveling in a VW van I picked up. I learned a LOT about mechanics with that vehicle! I marketed my art and developed my business and entrepreneurial skills, made a trickle of income. Eventually I found another unforeseen curiosity and interest and pursued trade school in another state. The result was a tradeskill that cost me no more than a college credit (or three) and utilized all of my diverse skills and sparked my creative passion. I got creative with my work and within a few years niched a specialty that pays more than I would EVER be paid in any foreseeable resulting career had I gone to college. I have no education debt (or any debt), I have a skill with my hands that can be used anywhere, I get paid more than most in my generation will see before they're 40, and I don't have to climb any ladders, spend years flipping burgers whilst doing unpaid internships for experience-hours so I can actually get an entry level job applicable to my degree- I could go on. I'm also my own boss, don't have to deal with the general public, make my own hours, and answer only to myself. If I am shutdown or anxious, I can take as many days off as I need. If I want a vacation I can schedule it however I want. No job I ever applied for would've been able to accommodate my own frailties and incapacities, nor would they have played off of my strengths or skills.
Now I am pursuing my passions in their entirety. For me that's in the realm of farming and rustic living. I still utilize all of my tradeskills and still provide a passive income for myself working just a couple hours a week. I have found a healthy, skilled, intelligent partner who dropped out of high school over 20 years ago, got his GED, and pursued tradeskills that would allow him to achieve his ideal lifestyle- an ideal we both share. He can build or create anything he needs, has skills he can sell easily for excellent pay, and remains unreliant on a system that is otherwise difficult to thrive in financially.
I would have it no other way. I am SO HAPPY I didn't go to college. My former peers are struggling to get through college, self-medicating to cope, working 2 jobs on the side, not sleeping, fighting mountains of debt, and can't see a way out; 2-4 more years of this, then possibly YEARS trying to find a job, not to mention decades of paying off their student loans? They don't do it because they're pursuing learning about something they're passionate about, they're doing it because they're "supposed to", and for no other reason.
My ultimate point is just to make sure it's known that college isn't the only route, nor is it the best. There is no single best. But there are SO MANY different options for your future, don't let the pressure of your world force you into something you might not want, or maybe you might not even be built for. We must play our lives to our abilities, not force an impossible change on our incapacities.
Now, maybe what you have a passion for DOES require college education! That's another side to the coin! If it were me, I'd tap into that passion and use it as incentive to get through my schooling so I can go on to do what I really want to do. That's why flirted with college twice- I wanted to pursue art and raptor biology. Ultimately I wanted to, and still want to, pursue falconry. A degree in raptor biology would've opened the doors to getting a job at the birds of prey center I volunteered at, which may have led to working with raptors and led down a path to falconry. But! It didn't happen. If it could've, it would've, but it didn't, so here I am! Falconry is not off my radar nor out of my grasp. College was not the only way to reach that goal.
Even now I am met with condemnation and disrespect when I tell someone I didn't go to college. Highschool was meaningless in the long run for me; I came away with 1 friend and a LOT of hell stories and resentment. I remember almost NOTHING from 4 years of social and sensory torture, not to mention government-formulated brain washing and political conditioning. If I could do it over I would've dropped out early, like I wanted to at so many different points. And can you imagine what my partner experiences when he says he quit highschool!? Yet, if either of us speak of our personal success we are subsequently praised.
There's a lot of backwards messages in our culture.
"Follow the norm- if you don't and you get screwed over, it's your own darn fault. If you don't and you manage to succeed, well, you still should've followed the norm but good for you for making it work, at least."
Anyways, I share this simply in hope of sharing perspective
Use these years to find what you are passionate about. Find the best way of pursuing that. Try not to feel too hindered by the pressures of the world around you, seeking to sculpt you into what THEY want you to be. We all have our own paths to take and our own futures to make
