I need help

[ashketchumnow]

Hi I'm Ashley, and while I'm not on the spectrum, a child in my care is believed to be. She is currently 4 years old, about 20lbs and refuses to eat. It's becoming more and more worrisome as she is only really eating crackers and cheese, and weighs as much as a 1 year old. She hardly sleep either and I don't know if it's because she's hungry or if it's something else. I'm scared if we can't figure this out she will have to go to the hospital and be hooked up on needles, which she's terrified of. What do I do? What can I do. I just want her to be safe. I'm sorry if this isn't the place for this kind of question, but I couldn't find anywhere else.

 

[Streetwise]

Hi I'm Ashley, and while I'm not on the spectrum, a child in my care is believed to be. She is currently 4 years old, about 20lbs and refuses to eat. It's becoming more and more worrisome as she is only really eating crackers and cheese, and weighs as much as a 1 year old. She hardly sleep either and I don't know if it's because she's hungry or if it's something else. I'm scared if we can't figure this out she will have to go to the hospital and be hooked up on needles, which she's terrified of. What do I do? What can I do. I just want her to be safe. I'm sorry if this isn't the place for this kind of question, but I couldn't find anywhere else.

I had the same problem till I was 15 !but I been introduced to cooked vegetables which I could digest !I think the problem is the whole of our system is very sensitive and probably if I'd been breastfed I might have been better able to digest a wider range of foods!
I still have a problem where I am very prone to infections and so I just live on a very bland diet, which is what she seems to be doing !I counter it by having yoghurt, i put in dried powdered food into anything liquid as I can't really eat anything acidic ,for instance I had vegetable lasagna and put in ground Almonds .
at 15 for some reason my body decided I could digest a wider range of foods?????

 

[BK201]

Well, if she's four and weighs as much as a one year old, I'm surprised she hasn't been taken to the hospital already. She needs to be seen by a doctor.

 

[ashketchumnow]

Well, if she's four and weighs as much as a one year old, I'm surprised she hasn't been taken to the hospital already. She needs to be seen by a doctor.

I'm her adoptive sister, and this is what her mother has told me. (She's related to her mother, just her mother is technically her aunt, she adopted her brothers child because he's unfit and her birth mother is addicted to certain substances.) I don't believe she's only 20lbs, I believe she's at least 40 or more, but still her eating habits are very concerning. I'm only reaching out because her mother isn't doing anything at this point. The child also has a nutritionist but everything they've suggested doesn't work. But I do agree she needs to be seen by a doctor. Unfortunately I can't take her myself.

 

[ashketchumnow]

I had the same problem till I was 15 !but I been introduced to cooked vegetables which I could digest !I think the problem is the whole of our system is very sensitive and probably if I'd been breastfed I might have been better able to digest a wider range of foods!
I still have a problem where I am very prone to infections and so I just live on a very bland diet, which is what she seems to be doing !I counter it by having yoghurt, i put in dried powdered food into anything liquid as I can't really eat anything acidic ,for instance I had vegetable lasagna and put in ground Almonds .
at 15 for some reason my body decided I could digest a wider range of foods?????

I don't believe she was ever breastfed. She was adopted, and her birth mother was on substances which caused her to be born premature. And she'll ask for food, and then when given it she won't eat it, or she'll take a bite and refuse to eat the rest. But I will try what you suggested, thank you for the advice.

 

[Streetwise]

I don't believe she was ever breastfed. She was adopted, and her birth mother was on substances which caused her to be born premature. And she'll ask for food, and then when given it she won't eat it, or she'll take a bite and refuse to eat the rest. But I will try what you suggested, thank you for the advice.

I was exactly the same, I think because we have a developmental disorder our digestive tract takes a long time to develop ,so that's probably why I did what she's doing, developing our range of foods it's probably a good idea to give her a very small amount of things like you would a baby or like someone who has had a gastric band has to have very small meals usually over four or five meals a day,I think also people who have had stomach cancer have to have very small meals ,the singer tammy wynette had 10 small meals a day.

 

[the_tortoise]

40lbs is an average weight for a 4-year old of average height. Is she underweight or just a very picky eater?

As long as she is not underweight and sees a doctor regularly enough that you can be assured she is not suffering from a clinically-significant vitamin deficiency then it seems unlikely she will end up hospitalized any time soon -- I think that would only happen if she was dangerously underweight or had a serious illness caused by severe vitamin/mineral deficiency.

The minimal sleep is not necessarily related to hunger -- sleep abnormalities are fairly common in kids (and adults) with neurodevelopmental conditions.

Streetwise's idea is good. If she will eat crackers and cheese, then offer them frequently, or make sure she always has access to crackers and cheese whenever she wants (i.e. set it up so she can just help herself to crackers and cheese).

If you haven't alreaedy done so, see if you can find a chewable/gummy multivitamin she will eat. Or try one of the powdered multivitamins for children that are made specifically to mixed into juice, milk, or water.

Beyond that, what has the nutritionist suggested? What have you already tried? Is she verbal(?) and, if so, have you tried to talk to her about her experiences of food and eating, what it is she likes about cheese and crackers versus everything else? It saves everyone time and effort if you can tell us what you already know will not work.

 

[Gracey]

Is it the fact that your sister doesn’t appear to eat very much?

Or does she seem too slim? Underweight? Or look unwell when you look at her?

Have her energy levels changed significantly?

 

[onlything]

Most of the advice was already given by others and I agree with this. Other than the mentioned the reason could also be the 'feeling' of food in the mouth/stomach. Maybe try giving her something of the same consistency of the crackers and cheese that she's able to eat. For example crackers are crunchy, so maybe some crunchy types of bread, vegetables/fruit raw or as chips. From cheese maybe try different types to give her at least some good diary intake, plus maybe some cheesy dishes like things with cheese sauce? Make it into small portions that she can eat any time.

 

[Progster]

I think you need to think about where the issues is coming from, whether it stems from a digestive tract sensitivity as @Streetwise suggests, or whether it's an anxiety issue, or a sensitivity to texture or taste, and work from there.

Leave a selection of food out on the table for her to choose from (let her know that she may eat them), and don't try to force her to eat, or put pressure on her.

Try giving her soluble vitamin tablets or vitamin sweets.

If she has a special interest in something, for example, Dora the Explorer or Thomas the Tank Engine or Disney, you could try making up a story involving her favourite character eating the vegetable, or give the food names that she might associate with those characters or her interest. It might work.

 

[Mary Anne]

I believe that not every option has been taken here. It does sound like the child is dangerously underweight, and in need of nutrition. It’s been proven that nutrition or lack or is a factor in how children with autism behave and function day to day. Lack of nutrition and micronutrients delay the child’s development even farther.

I suggest going to a pediatrician immediately. You cannot make assumptions about “needles” because often, a nutritious and tasty solution is offered for drinking first. You also do not know if there are any physical reasons either without medical help If there is fear, then go out and buy a NutriBullet, or good juicer, and try blending and or liquefying foods. A child cannot live on cheese and crackers, as no human at any age can do that for very long.

Do not let this go on any further, because then health authorities WILL step in and do an investigation into possible abuse. Abuse, because “the parent/caregiver did not seek out medical help for the child.” If charged, the parent/ caretaker can be jailed and the child taken away. Please get this child to the doctor ASAP. This has gone in for four years (?) - it is absolutely inexcusable.

 

[Mary Terry]

My little sister who is NT lived on peanut butter and cheese for years. Her pediatrician told our mother not to worry about it, to give her a daily vitamin, and to make sure she had access to other foods in case she wanted to try them. Most children grow out of the dietary pickiness. My sister is now 52 years old and about 40 pounds overweight. She still eats a very restricted diet compared with me. I think salad and green beans are the only vegetables she eats and she never eats fruit, but she appears quite healthy.

 

[Mary Anne]

My little sister who is NT lived on peanut butter and cheese for years. Her pediatrician told our mother not to worry about it, to give her a daily vitamin, and to make sure she had access to other foods in case she wanted to try them. Most children grow out of the dietary pickiness. My sister is now 52 years old and about 40 pounds overweight. She still eats a very restricted diet compared with me. I think salad and green beans are the only vegetables she eats and she never eats fruit, but she appears quite healthy.

One can be overweight by eating white flour carbs, sugar, fried and unhealthy fats, junk foods, and unhealthy zero calorie foods. Which is why America has such high numbers of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and strokes. Which is why your sister does not sound healthy even if she appears to be. 40 pounds overweight usually equals “unhealthy.”

 

[Mary Terry]

One can be overweight by eating white flour carbs, sugar, fried and unhealthy fats, junk foods, and unhealthy zero calorie foods. Which is why America has such high numbers of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and strokes. Which is why your sister does not sound healthy even if she appears to be. 40 pounds overweight usually equals “unhealthy.”

Many other modern counties such as Germany have obesity problems like the US. I fully understand that her diet would be considered unhealthy by many people including myself but the proof is in the pudding, so to speak, and with apologies for the bad pun:

She has normal blood lipid and glucose lab results, low triglycerides and LDL, is attentive to her overall health by getting adequate sleep and hydration, visits her doctors as recommended, has delivered and raised two incredibly beautiful healthy children, is very physically active, does not smoke or drink alcohol, and still takes a daily vitamin. If her blood sugar or fat load were spiking on lab tests, then a dramatic change would definitely be in order, but they are not. I know her internist has told her to drop some of the middle body fat by cutting back on carbs but per the doctor, she is in very good health. Except she needs to lose some weight. Go figure....

I tend to compare her excess 40 pounds with the grotesquely obese 400-500+ pound people I see in WalMart buying ice cream and potato chips while riding a scooter to do their shopping because they are too fat to walk. My sister is tall (almost 5'10"), a former athlete, and has big bones/large frame so she carries the weight well. Personally, I would drop the extra pounds if it were me and wish she would do so, and I know she is starting to work on it, but she is quite healthy according to her doctors.

 

[ashketchumnow]

I believe that not every option has been taken here. It does sound like the child is dangerously underweight, and in need of nutrition. It’s been proven that nutrition or lack or is a factor in how children with autism behave and function day to day. Lack of nutrition and micronutrients delay the child’s development even farther.

I suggest going to a pediatrician immediately. You cannot make assumptions about “needles” because often, a nutritious and tasty solution is offered for drinking first. You also do not know if there are any physical reasons either without medical help If there is fear, then go out and buy a NutriBullet, or good juicer, and try blending and or liquefying foods. A child cannot live on cheese and crackers, as no human at any age can do that for very long.

Do not let this go on any further, because then health authorities WILL step in and do an investigation into possible abuse. Abuse, because “the parent/caregiver did not seek out medical help for the child.” If charged, the parent/ caretaker can be jailed and the child taken away. Please get this child to the doctor ASAP. This has gone in for four years (?) - it is absolutely inexcusable.

One, she has a pediatrician. They're useless and the child isn't in my care so I don't get to call the shots. Her mother is doing nothing so I've decided to reach out to try and find solutions. The child is given anything she wants to eat, she just simply refuses to, cries and then throws a tantrum. And I only mentioned needles because I'm relaying what her caregiver told me.

And I wouldn't say this has been even going on for a year, she would be dead if this is all we fed her. Its just becoming impossible to deal with because she won't eat full meals, or really anything unless it's junk food. So much food is wasted and we're not made of money.

And great, thank you. Because we're "abusing" her. We have seeked medical help. It's always inclusive. Do you understand why this is so difficult? I don't mean to be rude but please don't assume things that will involve legal action.