I need help.

[Juliet8080]

I'm not officially diagnosed with Asperger's yet, but I think I have it and am going to the doctor soon. But that's not the point. There's this history assignment at school (I'm in 11th grade) and it involves, on your own time, talking to random teachers you don't know after school and they "interview" you about immigration, and one of them is you have to sing to the principal. I am absolutely terrified and cry every day just thinking about the social encounters. Plus, you have to do a lot of three page papers and stuff. I'm fine with essays, but I can't handle the social aspects. Should I suck it up and do it though I'm getting panic attacks from the thought of it, or should I talk to him about an alternative assignment? Asking him for an alternative is scary too... Am I crazy or is this normal for Aspies? What would you do, and have you ever done something similar? I'm just so scared and panicky, guys.

 

[Judge]

I understand. Reminds me of a history assignment I had in that same grade. I had to work in some capacity for a real political campaign. I ended up with another person under the same circumstances from another school canvassing an entire neighborhood. Knocking on doors to remind homeowners of the election and the candidate we represented.

It was uh...terrifying for me at the time. Luckily at the time, the candidate fit the affluent neighborhood we canvassed. Somehow I managed to get through it. I really didn't seem to have a choice though.

Your fear and panic is understandable...

 

[Juliet8080]

I understand. Reminds me of a history assignment I had in that same grade. I had to work in some capacity for a real political campaign. I ended up with another person under the same circumstances from another school canvassing an entire neighborhood. Knocking on doors to remind homeowners of the election and the candidate we represented.

It was uh...terrifying for me at the time. Luckily at the time, the candidate fit the affluent neighborhood we canvassed. Somehow I managed to get through it. I really didn't seem to have a choice though.

Your fear and panic is understandable...

Glad I'm not alone in this! I just don't think I can handle it. I really don't want to push myself through it. And other people in class are like "Oh it's fine. Just do it." and I feel like that one awkward kid who refuses to do work. Your assignment sounded pretty terrible, too!

 

[DogwoodTree]

For the singing part...can you ask if you can videotape yourself singing, and then show him that? The song part of the assignment would freak me out, too. Seems like the interview part might not be too bad if you can think of it as a chance to share stuff you know. Maybe research a little extra so you have a unique perspective to contribute?

 

[Juliet8080]

For the singing part...can you ask if you can videotape yourself singing, and then show him that? The song part of the assignment would freak me out, too. Seems like the interview part might not be too bad if you can think of it as a chance to share stuff you know. Maybe research a little extra so you have a unique perspective to contribute?

But just confronting these people give me a heart attack, especially the anticipation of it. I've never even met these teachers and I have to go to their room and say "Hey, I'm disrupting your time, now interview me." and it feels awkward. That's just how it feels, anyway.

 

[Judge]

Glad I'm not alone in this! I just don't think I can handle it. I really don't want to push myself through it. And other people in class are like "Oh it's fine. Just do it." and I feel like that one awkward kid who refuses to do work. Your assignment sounded pretty terrible, too!

To be honest this was nothing compared to what I had to push myself through as a working adult with social anxiety. And I have a feeling many here would lament the same thing. When the real stakes are much higher than just a grade in class. Wish I could tell you otherwise, but in the long run I'd just be doing you a disservice.

 

[Juliet8080]

To be honest this was nothing compared to what I had to push myself through as a working adult. And I have a feeling many here would lament the same thing. When the real stakes are much higher than just a grade in class. Wish I could tell you otherwise, but in the long run I'd just be doing you a disservice.

I appreciate that. I actually work better when the stakes are higher. If I have to do it, I'll do it. But if it's just for a ridiculous grade, then I really don't want to go through all that social work for no reward or importance in the end, especially with the frequent uncontrollable panic attacks.

 

[Judge]

I appreciate that. I actually work better when the stakes are higher. If I have to do it, I'll do it. But if it's just for a ridiculous grade, then I really don't want to go through all that social work for no reward or importance in the end, especially with the frequent uncontrollable panic attacks.

Grades...a tough thing to assess. Once can treat them as mere pieces of paper, or a means to an end. I preferred to view them as the latter rather than the former. I once went to a trade school for a year for only a piece of paper. But it served me very well. With formal certification I got the job. A job that paid better than the job I had earlier, which required a college degree.

You make a good point though- know the potential rewards. Weigh your options.

 

[Juliet8080]

Grades...at tough thing to assess. Once can treat them as mere pieces of paper, or a means to an end. I preferred to view them as the latter rather than the former. I once went to a trade school for a year for only a piece of paper. But it served me very well. With formal certification I got the job. A job that paid better than the job I had earlier, which required a college degree.

True, but that's why I'd rather do an essay for my Aspie brain. It would serve me well, be more informative and helpful, and could give me a good grade. I just don't know if that's crazy thing to ask for, since every one else is okay with it and I'm over here dying from fear.

 

[Judge]

True, but that's why I'd rather do an essay for my Aspie brain. It would serve me well, be more informative and helpful, and could give me a good grade. I just don't know if that's crazy thing to ask for, since every one else is okay with it and I'm over here dying from fear.

I see nothing wrong with at least asking about the possibility of an alternative assignment.

 

[Juliet8080]

I see nothing wrong with at least asking about the possibility of an alternative assignment.

Cool. I suppose I could try to get over the fear of asking my teacher much easier. I hope he understands.

 

[Judge]

Cool. I suppose I could try to get over the fear of asking my teacher much easier. I hope he understands.

There are worse things to be fearful about. Just be honest with your teacher. And know that when it comes to autism, you may encounter one of three things:

* Those who want to understand.
* Those who try and cannot understand.
* Those who simply don't care because they expect you to conform to their behavior.

 

[Juliet8080]

There are worse things to be fearful about. Just be honest with your teacher. And know that when it comes to autism, you may encounter one of three things:

* Those who want to understand.
* Those who try and cannot understand.
* Those who simply don't care because they expect you to conform to their behavior.

Yeah, true. That's what I'm trying to figure out. I don't know what to say to him to make my case, since he might not get the Aspie mentality.

 

[Judge]

Yeah, true. That's what I'm trying to figure out. I don't know what to say to him to make my case, since he might not get the Aspie mentality.

Start with some paper and a pen. Script what you want to say until it sounds like what you'd want him to hear, and what he would likely understand.

 

[Juliet8080]

Start with some paper and a pen. Script what you want to say until it sounds like what you'd want him to hear, and what he would likely understand.

Good idea. I'm wondering if a note from my doctor would be helpful or something.

 

[Judge]

Good idea. I'm wondering if a note from my doctor would be helpful or something.

Use a note to your doctor if you can get one in addition to your own words.

It will appear far more sincere, but the doctor's note would give it validation you can't professionally provide.

 

[Juliet8080]

Use a note to your doctor if you can get one in addition to your own words.

It will appear far more sincere, but the doctor's note would give it validation you can't professionally provide.

Definitely. It's just what to say to make it sincere that's hard, since I don't know what will persuade him.

 

[Judge]

Definitely. It's just what to say to make it sincere that's hard, since I don't know what will persuade him.

In high school, I'd think a verifiable medical doctor's letterhead is likely to get you what you want. The rest should come from your heart...be honest. The most important thing is to ask for an appropriate alternative assignment. Of course be prepared as well that if he ok's this, he may still demand an alternative assignment of his making and not yours. Expect the unexpected...

 

[Juliet8080]

In high school, I'd think a verifiable medical doctor's letterhead is likely to get you what you want. The rest should come from your heart...be honest. The most important thing is to ask for an appropriate alternative assignment. Of course be prepared as well that if he ok's this, he may still demand an alternative assignment of his making and not yours. Expect the unexpected...

That would be perfect, because as long as it's not social, I can do it, haha. I don't care what he throws at me.

 

[Judge]

That would be perfect, because as long as it's not social, I can do it, haha. I don't care what he throws at me.

Be careful what you wish for.

Just understand that things can get tougher if you choose higher education.