I need to help people with autism

[Amelia]

If I can help people with autism before I give up at least I will be not so worried when I go, it would be nice to go and know that I've made something better for someone that would be good. I know my life's not gunna change or get better but to help at least one person will make something hard just that little bit easier. When I stopped caring about myself, I started caring more about other people and that's the only good thing that happened to me and that I liked. I hate watching people with autism treated like crap or left with no help it really bothers me a lot. If I could make a difference to those people before I end my life I will find it easier to go... I don't expect things to get better for me and that's the reason I see no point in anything. Maybe tho, things will get better for other autistic people and that's what I want.. It's like all I've been living for lately if I can't even do that then it's best to call it quits at life, if I can at least I know I've helped someone else when I do give up completely.

 

[epath13]

Have you thought about the way you're going to help?

 

[AsIstAga]

Please don't "become a statistic" - I dislike clichés, but that one seems to fit! I know that I don't know you, but the fact that you cared enough to feel the need to express a need to help someone other than yourself shows much more maturity than some 50yr olds seem to express! It would be a shame for the world to loose someone who seems to have mastered the art of selflessness! I've been in & out of dark depressions for a long while, and at this moment I am very glad that I have never followed through on my worst negative thoughts! I hope you get the chance to read this and please feel free to respond...

 

[Ylva]

Victor Frankl said he got through Holocaust and the resulting PTSD by having a purpose. Ought to help you too.

 

[Amelia]

Nothing can help me I've tried everything, someone bad always comes along and for fun they enjoy ruining that... Psychopaths, they destroy everything good you do, and still manage to make u look like the bad guy... Unless they are all removed from the planet people like me and anyone with any differences are always gunna be unhappy. I find it funny in the wild I would be an Alfa because I like to keep peace and make sure everything is equally and have given my food up for people many times because I know they need it more than me at time. In the wild that would make me important in this planet it makes me a sad game for psychopaths to play. It makes me a person for bully's to pick at and it makes me an ass hole to everyone else because people like that are good at lying or blaming me so technically even if I help other people it will never help me. Being a walking target for heartless people is not fun so never gunna get better for me, and that's more than fine I expect it and am used to it. I don't care about me anyway, but I hope I am helping or have helped someone and I hope I can help a little more before next Thursday because I don't want people to know how ****** they make me feel. What I am going to do now is wait til I've been volunteering and after next Thursday when I've seen my psychologist, she says she's gunna bring up about the services for adults with autism in mental health and in general because it's not good. I will find out about that then if nothing's changed and I can't help, and there is no other way to help I can just end it and know I have tried at least x

 

[Ylva]

Likewise.

 

[Ereth]

Being a walking target for heartless people is not fun so never gunna get better for me, and that's more than fine I expect it and am used to it. I will find out about that then if nothing's changed and I can't help, and there is no other way to help I can just end it and know I have tried at least x

Amelia, honey . . . I used to feel much the same way. But ending your life won't change anything. If you want to change the world, you have to be alive to fight. I realized a long time ago that we as people have to be the change we want to see in the world. Please don't give up.

 

[Amelia]

The more you fight the more psychopaths enjoy it and go out of your way to destroy you. I was seeing someone in mental health because of suicidal thoughts she made me feel suicidal and bad because she argued with me about my condition... She hated me so much that when I went in a mental hospital and they were gunna finally help me, the same women spoke to them and suddenly I wasn't going to get any help anymore . That's a bad person and she shouldn't be working in mental health, unfortunately because I'm the one with a condition every one listens to her crappy thoughts about me even if they are unfair so... There is literally nothing I can do about bad people like that, and those people are gunna hurt and possibly cause people to commit suicide and there is nothing I can do I've tried believe me. I've done all I can do so if nothing changes what else can I do? Exactly no point in staying to suffer and fight when I'm never going to win... I just hope people have realised because of what I've said and tried to do and manage to help in a way I couldn't

 

[Stacey]

You don't need to end your life. What you need is a new therepist. I had one who was useless about 5 years ago. She made me feel worse. So I just got rid of her. I made a promise to myself long ago to always be my own best friend. Nobody treats me like crap.

Plus...you have to stay alive to help people, or else the people you help are going to wake up one day with their help 'gone'. You could be the difference between someone sinking or swimming. Which means you have a responsibility toward those people. You have to help yourself 1st.

 

[Ste11aeres]

You are already making a small good difference for us here on this forum: we enjoy reading your posts and sharing AS solidarity with you.

 

[Amelia]

Thanks guys, I'm gunna complain about any discrimination I face and take some info from other people on the autism spectrum about what discrimination they have faced and send it to a few places. If any one wants to tell me about any autism discrimination story's I would be glad to take that to the places that can help and try that too before next Thursday x

 

[Ereth]

Stacey's right. Don't let that experience with your ex-psychologist push you to the brink. She absolutely should not be in that profession. But the vast majority of doctors and therapists are good people, and I believe that most people in general are good. There are mean-spirited ones out there, but that's one reason why I continue to try to do positive things---so the negative stuff won't last.

 

[Amelia]

Wasn't an ex psychologist it was a doctor actually several and mantas health professionals too my psychologist is actually the only person who actually gets me and sees the struggles I see

 

[Ereth]

Wasn't an ex psychologist it was a doctor actually several and mantas health professionals too my psychologist is actually the only person who actually gets me and sees the struggles I see

My mistake. But what I said still applies.

 

[Stacey]

You need a new Dr then.
I've got rid of a few of those too.
Same rules apply. Theres something called a 2nd opinion, If you feel that the help you're getting isn't helping you.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

My Aspie friend that I met on this site has decided to go back to college and become a Speech Pathologist in hopes of helping other Aspies. He's working very hard at doing this and giving up quite a few things (his apartment) so that this dream can come true. I'm very proud of him!

 

[Amelia]

I've tried those too that's why I give up on me all about how I can help others now

 

[Stacey]

You may have already tried what I am about to suggest. Apologises for wasting your time if you have.

Write down a list of all your strengths and weaknesses. Be honest with yourself, but remember to be fair and kind on yourself too. (That bit is really important). Everybody has both and everyone needs to be personally aware of what theirs are.
Take a seperate piece of paper...write down everything that pushes your autistic buttons. Take a seperate piece of paper...write down what makes you happy...take a seperate piece of paper...write down your hopes for the future...take a...actually just grab a notebook...anyway write down how you could realistically achieve that. Then write down a goal time. Give yourself enough time, whether thats 6 months or 6 years. Keep what you wrote. On bad days read it to remind yourself of where you're going.
If you have somebody in your life who is supportive do not shut them off. Even if you don't want to talk you can at least sit with them and watch tv, read etc. Their presence is what you need most, so you don't feel on your own.

 

[Amelia]

I have no one for that, my dad's in hospital because they failed to spot mini strokes, he now has brain damage and can never come home. My mum dosent love me I met her once for two weeks, she said she didn't love me because I look like my dad.... My sister is not understanding and can be harsh, my brother abused me til I was 14 then threatened to bury me in his garden when I went to see him... My Nan's died my friends have slept with my ex behind my back spread lies about me and ditched me. I have got no one and nothing the only reason I am still breathing is to help people with autism if I can't do that I have nothing!

 

[Stacey]

I understand. Then I believe you are already your own hero. And for that you should be proud. It's an excellent start. (By excellent I mean't that you have life experience to help people in the same situation...they can relate and will trust you) You're strong. Not everyone can get as far as you can. Your presence is obviously needed right here! You have arrived. If you have nothing else to live for, live for Aspie Central. We need you! X *hugs*