I need your opinions on my little one please....

[Kelly]

I was going to write this as a blog so it was all in one place for me to look back on but I wanted some opinions so thought I'd make a thread...it's a long one sorry.

Anyway my little girls tantrums have been all over the place recently so I've started keeping a record of anything that may be significant for the psychiatrist/GP/theraists/school etc because I'm sure they think I'm making up half the stuff that goes on. So what do you guys think, is this normal kid like behaviour or do you think it may be aspie related...

Friday 29th June

8.15am - Getting dressed for own clothes day at school she gets upset because the skirt she wanted to wear to complete her Draculaura outfit (monster high obsession) is in the wash. She then becomes more and more upset as she continued getting dressed...her vest was annoying her, she didn't have the right shoes (she wanted shoes to match the outfit but none were 'right'). Eventually on the verge of tears because it was "all too much", when asked to elaborate she said it was too much and she still needed to put her socks and shoes on and do her hair and loads of other stuff and it was all too much.

8.25am - Nail cutting...managed to cut 7 nails but her skin got pinched on the 8th nail. She yelled in pain and refused to have them cut any further. Pulled her hand away and made her upset noise whenever we tried to go near her. Ranted about no longer wanting the nail clipers that she wanted the nail file again like when she was little, that she was scared of having her nails done now. Eventually stormed off to her bedroom, slammed the door and was making her angry noise.

noon - We go into school for the family picnic event, Nick wonders if it's normal for a 7 year old to want to run around the playground with her favourite teddy as her peers don't carry teddy's around anymore and she takes hers everywhere.

3.30pm - Wanted to play with her monster high dolls as usual she directed what I would make the dolls say(i.e pretend draculaura asked clawd to buy her a present..I then have to repeat it word for word or she gets annoyed). The game storyline was her day at school, so acting out what had happened that afternoon in school. This included splitting the dolls carefully into groups according to which activity they would be doing (including making lists of who was in what group who would be the teacher, the teacher's names etc). Then they had an assembly wherin certificates were handed out as is done in school.

4.45pm - Tea time, mildly annoyed about having to stop playing, ate very quickly so she could get back to her dolls. Became annoyed because I hadn't finished eating and she wanted me to go play too.

6pm - Toilet, spent 20 minutes trying to pass a hard stool(she has bowel problems). I then had to wipe her because she was too scared to do it herself becuase it hurt.

6.20pm - Shower, after alot of complaining finally got her in the shower, she did not want the light on because the noise of the extractor fan is "too loud" and hurts her head.

6.30pm - Says goodbye to daddy(who goes off to aikido without her), she goes to her bedroom to wind down before bed by watching some TV.

8pm - Got veyr upset and refused to go to sleep because daddy was not home to say goodnight and put her cream on (her routine is brush teeth, put lavender cream on, hugs, kisses, goodnights). I took her to brush her teeth but grabbed the wrong toothpaste(because we can't have the light/fan on) so put the strawberry flavour one on instead of mint which really annoyed her, she told me I had done it wrong, she removed the strawberry and got the mint out and put it on herself before brushing her teeth. She wanted to sit on my lap whilst brushing because that's what she normally does with daddy.

8.41pm - Found out the reason she didn't want to go to aikido tonight was because she's never in daddy's group anymore and she wants to be in his group.

9.22pm - After several times getting up she is on the verge of losing control and is "getting very upset". After much talking we discover it's because her routine has been changed, she missed daddy whilst he was out, everything was different and we had also forgot to put her cream on.

Saturday 30th june 2012

7.30am - Climbs on me in bed and shoves me to get up because she wants to play with me, she didn't want daddy to get up, gets annoyed when I say we have to have breakfast first.

8am - Watches 'my autism and me' documentary 5 times in a row, would not eat her usual cereal becuase she no longer likes that one anymore (after eating no other cereal for months).

9am - started playing, we did the number game her teacher had given us to help her with her maths. Then after that she took over the role of teacher, using her whiteboard to teach her teddies how to do sums. Became confused over the sums and flipped out when I expalined that she had forgotten to add part of her sum up. she became increasingly agitated, hitting her pillow, hitting her whiteboard, throwing the whiteboard pen before throwing herself on the floor and making her grumpy noise. After alot of talking and calming down we came up with a strategy for school when she gets this angry and upset, she can't think straight and needs to calm down or can't do her work. We came up with the phrase 'crazy doctor' for her to say to the teacher so that the teacher understands she needs to go somewhere quiet to calm down (and I would need to explain to the teacher what that meant) she became much happier after that.

Noon - Wants to go to her school fete with just daddy, does not want for me to finish getting ready and walk the dog. Her reasoning was that daddy said they could get there for when it opened so they MUST leave NOW to get there first.

2pm - Fixates on a specific teddy on the toy tombola, has several goes to try and win it but doesn't. Gets upset and lays face down on her bed when we get home, crying because she really wanted that bear (her other obsession is teddy bears).

3.30pm - Gets dizzy(her word for overwhelmed) in the supermarket because of the nosie and chatter. She has to go to the cafe with daddy to calm down, gets stressed because her usual slushie drink is not available.

Sunday 1st July 2012

8.40am - Got dizzy(overhwelmed) and had a headache as a result of the car making a beeping noise when daddy got out and left the door open whilst he ran in the house to get a cd.

4pm - Got upset over her michael jackson dance game and wanted to stop because according to her i was much better at it then her and that made her have no confidence. She then ranted about never wanting to play it ever again because she was no good at it (proceeded to call herself allsorts of names, despite me telling her she was anything but stupid, a bad dancer etc). We then played with her monster high dolls, the 'mean' dolls were very violent towards the other dolls, hitting them (she uses alot of force to do this, she's hurt my hand a few times from whacking one doll against the other so hard). It seems rather unusual and with very little provocation, so example ...Cleo's team win the fearleading competition(as per her instructions/mimicking the TV episode) and Nefera retaliates by calling them all names and then violently kicking Cleo's head over and over again..at one point I thought she'd broekn the doll. When asked why she does this she shrugs and says the dolls are mean so that's why they hit the other dolls.

5.13pm - We lay on the floor and look out of her window cloud spotting (pointing out shapes in the clouds), then we start saying silly things and tickling and just giggling etc. She then gets over excited and tries to put her foot near my face and tells me to "sniff it, it's stinky", i tell her not to do that. She tries again and accidentally slams her foot down on my stomache and I cry out in pain and tell her not to do that it hurt. She laughs holds one of my amrs down and slams her foot hard down on my chest(whilst we're both still laying on the floor). I sit up and tell her off again, she just blankly stares at me and starts to chew on her thumb, something I've noticed she's been doing the past few weeks when stressed, excited or extremely relaxed/zoned out.

6pm - got very upset and angry over her homework, which I think is due to it being uninteresting and she misunderstood alot of the questions. She became increasingly angry and stressed, ranting about how the homework was stupid and boring, she then ran off to her bedroom, threw pillows about, hit her bed and was making angry noises.

6.20pm - got angry because daddy told her to get in the bath but she wanted to wait for me (I'd promised we'd play with her toys in the bath because she hates baths but agreed to have one if we had toys) but I was on the phone at the time. She became very agitated and stormed off to her room, again I found her face down on her bed, seething and of course daddy was now in her bad books and she didn't want him anywhere near her. Calmed down and cheered up during her bath and went to bed without any problems.


So I'm trying to keep a record of everything but maybe I'm looking too much into everything, what do you fellow aspie's think?

 

[Kelly]

Also another problem is that she gets so hyper when she's playing she starts to get physically over the top (climbing on you, getting right in your face laughing or talking loudly, trying to jump on your back, tugging on your limbs etc).

Example we were playing about I don't even remember what and then it descended into a tickle frenzy and then she was making silly noises so I covered her mouth and shushed her (just playing)and we were giggling about it...but then she started to get over the top and kept wanting me to put my hand over her mouth so she could try to talk through my hand. Then she started getting naughty, she licked my hand and I said no that she shouldn't do that she just laughed grabbed my hand again and put it over her mouth and licked it again. So more firmly I told her she was being naughty and that we needed to stop being silly now and that getting spit all over someone was not very hygenic(I don't mind it but I don't want her thinking it's okay to behave that way in school iyswim) out of nowhere she just started laughing and pulling on my arms trying to lick them so I told her no again and then she spat on my arm I was so shocked and appauled I sent her to her room. It was just completely out of nowhere, normally she will still try to carry on silly playing like that but I just keep telling her firmly no and she stops but this time she just lost it. We inevitably had tears and "mummy has made me upset" because I told her off and sent her to her room to calm down.

She's started getting more physically defiant, like the other night she threw something at my husband because he said she couldn't stay up late(they were arguing about it for a bit first, long story short she misunderstood what he'd said about staying up and so thought he'd lied to her).

A few nights ago I was sitting on her bedroom floor rocking her whilst she was crying her eyes out because she's 'different'. She just kept saying she hates herself because she's not like the other kids, that they say things and she doesn't understand what they mean and they don't get upset by big noises it's just her. She was absolutely distraught for over an hour, I told her I was just the same and that I still have misunderstandings and don't understand jokes and sometimes don't know what people mean but it doesn't make me a bad person just different. I tried to get her to see all the positive sides to being different but she was just too upset and eventually calmed down after I explained coping strategies to her, such as asking her friends what they mean or asking the teacher what they mean. When the noises are too loud she can just stick her fingers in her ears and sort of lean on her hands on her desk so it's not so obvious. Or when her obsessions are not socially accepted, example she is back on Michael Jackson again, listens to his music all the time, watches his videos, plays the game, watches the dvd's, she sat 2 nights in a row writing out 5 sets of lyrics to 'leave me alone' (including circling in different colours who sang what bit) so her and her friends could sing it in front of the class at show and tell but they didn't want to because they don't know Michael Jackson or appreciate his music the way she does. She likes modern music too so I suggested doing the same thing but with a Jessie J song or something and me and her will sing Michael Jackson at home.

I just feel so helpless because she's suffering so much and yet this stupid Dr. doesn't seem interested at all in her problems, she left half of them out of the notes, got things wrong it was just really bad and left me wondering how this whole process is going to go when the Dr. can't even be bothered to get details correct and picks out the most random things. Her name is Kyoko and the Dr. wrote a whole paragraph about how her name is japanese and that we are heavily influenced by japanese culture...no we're not! We like a bit of sushi now and again, we like anime and manga, Japanese (as well as Korean/Chinese) movies and jpop/jrock how is that heavily influenced when we like just as much non-asian things!