I never thought I would say this, but…..

[Metalhead]

My mother is making a serious effort to be more respectful of boundaries, and she is making a serious effort to improve herself and her bad habits these days. This is not narcissistic hovering on her part. She is genuine, she does not want to end up how her mother ended up.

I am more willing to meet her halfway on things while this is happening. When she first told me she was seeing a therapist, I thought she wanted a yes woman to validate her bad habits, but that was not the case at all.

If she can change herself, almost anybody can.

 

[Aspychata]

Please proceed with caution. You have moved ahead so far since l have been at this forum. In fact you helped me understand my mother.
Dont want to see her hurt you ever again.

 

[Metalhead]

Please proceed with caution. You have moved ahead so far since l have been at this forum. In fact you helped me understand my mother.
Dont want to see her hurt you ever again.

I understand. Her willingness to change and her capability to change are two different things. But seeing how her mother was, and hearing about her grandmother, it is easy to understand how my mother turned out. I am proceeding with caution here, this is generations of mindscrewery we are dealing with here.

 

[Fino]

When my mom improved, she pretended as if she were always that way, denying any reference to her past or claiming past statements were jokes or not serious. It would be interesting if your mother did that!

 

[Progster]

Any change that is to happen, starts with being aware of the need to change, then trying to change.

 

[Knower of nothing]

I'll buy it if she owns up to what she's done to you.

 

[Metalhead]

I'll buy it if she owns up to what she's done to you.

She is owning up to many of those things, actually. And she admitted those things were very wrong, but she did not know how wrong they were at the time. I think therapy is starting to help her out.