I often question my intelligence.

[Metalhead]

I procrastinate often. I have spent many years with a horrible diet. I sometimes act contrary to my own best interests. All of these are things that stupid people do. So, rationally, I must be somewhat stupid.

Or maybe I should change that narrative.

I am bored, and somewhat disappointed. I want to go out tonight, but road conditions are keeping me home instead. So my head goes to these places. Which is also kinda stupid.

See, I have the skills to tear myself apart.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Would it be helpful to ask yourself why you did those things?

Speaking from my own experience, I often did unhealthy things because I was in unhealthy situations and couldn't really cope. For example, entering the work force. Full time work as an Autistic person is hard, especially in an Allistic environment. I did stupid things to cope, but not necessarily for stupid reasons. I needed a measure of control, and the best thing I could do was harm myself as a form of escape. Of course, that can't last, but I understand why I did it. It was from the horror of masking and not being allowed to be myself. Now that I see the toll of that, it's becoming easier to let the mask drop and not worry about everyone else's feelings so much. They're certainly not worrying about mine.

I hope that makes sense. I don't mean to make this about me, but I sense your experience may be similar.

 

[VictorR]

It sounds like some of these may be coping mechanisms - i.e. forms of masking.

Chapters 3 and 4 of Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity get into this - perhaps you may wish to get a copy (online and/or via a library) and take a look through it?

 

[Slime_Punk]

That's not stupid; people just get distracted sometimes and they're easier to succumb to the power of suggestion when they're already tired and worn down. If you've ever found yourself being overworked and / or underslept, it's really easy to fall into unhealthy patterns just because the suggestion to do so is already blaring loudly. Our society seriously runs on this mechanic nowadays, just look around and you'll see it everywhere.

The good news is that it's not all that hard to take control over these things again, but it does take daily dedication. It feels like extra work, and that's the last thing people want when they're already dealing with so much.

My suggestion would be to realize that this isn't your fault, first of all. But knowing that you have all the control over it also feels good once you begin to exercise it in small ways.

Most positive changes don't really cost any additional money or time, but there's a giant illusion built around all of it.

 

[bajariitz37]

Yeah I know what you mean, for me the realization was that in a sense I did not care about myself as much as I thought I did, so all the ways I didn't take care of myself (Didn´t take time to de-stress, poor sleep schedule, poor diet, poor boundaries with people etc.) happened because sub/unconsciously I didn't think I should take that good care of myself . I don't think it has to do with intelligence that much, I knew exactly what I should do for my own best interest and to take better care of myself but I just didn't do it. Could your situation be because of something similar to this?

 

[Aspychata]

I think what's interesting about us is our ability to nitpick ourselves to death, it's like ruminating with a evil extra twist, throw in our frustration, our boredom, we are then a oil slick in water, just floating around, with nothing good happening. But you caught this thinking, and you didn't double down on destructive behavior, so there is some value that you are moving ahead.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I procrastinate often. I have spent many years with a horrible diet. I sometimes act contrary to my own best interests. All of these are things that stupid people do. So, rationally, I must be somewhat stupid.

Or maybe I should change that narrative.

I am bored, and somewhat disappointed. I want to go out tonight, but road conditions are keeping me home instead. So my head goes to these places. Which is also kinda stupid.

See, I have the skills to tear myself apart.

People, in general, will experience this phenomenon due to fears and anxieties. That damned amygdala is a bit overactive and we end up "making up" some sort of seemingly rational excuse for doing/not doing something. That little piece of our brain really holds a lot of people back. It can be quite a self-destructive force in one's life. Later, we somehow make peace with those "cowardly" decisions, fooling ourselves into thinking it was the right decision at the time, and move on. Later still, we think back and "kick ourselves" for not acting when we should have, and we end up with some level of regret.

We are all guilty of it.

 

[Judge]

I've come to the conclusion that raw intelligence is no substitute for the consequences of impulsive behavior. Something I'm sure that Rhodes Scholar Bill Clinton could elaborate on in great detail.

Or me driving in the snow yesterday when I really didn't have to.

 

[Metalhead]

Yeah, I can always change the course of my life this very second. Just because I was lazy five seconds ago does not mean I have to be lazy right now.

 

[Outdated]

Just because I was lazy five seconds ago does not mean I have to be lazy right now.

Thank you so much for this comment. I'm going to use it on myself from now on. Before I replied here I got up and removed all the empty beer cans and tidied my kitchen to cook a proper meal for a change. Chicken Cacciatore with rice.

 

[Jordy]

Later, we somehow make peace with those "cowardly" decisions, fooling ourselves into thinking it was the right decision at the time, and move on.

You can also fool yourself into thinking it was the amygdala that made you do it and not really you.

 

[Judge]

A lot of ways one can "fool" themselves. But I don't believe it correlates directly to their intelligence either.

Like my refusal to accept a girlfriend's alcoholism. Or my mother's dementia. Or being in denial over my own autism until I simply couldn't rationalize doing so any more.

Not forms of stupidity per se, but just bad decisions on my part. Realities that in real-time I simply didn't want to face. Though in hindsight I have to accept what I didn't want to admit at the time.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

You can also fool yourself into thinking it was the amygdala that made you do it and not really you.

Agree. If you have enough wisdom (experience + knowledge + mistakes). However, if it falls under the category of a "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity, something that rarely happens, a situation where you have to make a critical decision "on-the-spot", most people will err on side of "caution". Anxiety is often described as "fear of the unknown", and in some cases, it serves us well,...in other situations, it's just a missed opportunity,...in yet other situations, it can be crippling and lead to unneeded suffering and regret.

 

[foliodoe]

I feel like such a moron. There are simple things in life that I understand and should be able to master, but I just can't for whatever reason. It's important to me to feel intelligent, but also important that I'm honest with myself.

Once I start really challenging my intelligence and asking myself about what I actually know and can do, I feel like I really come up short.

 

[Prometheus]

I feel that we are all obsolete, now that Chatgpt, is on the scene.

 

[Darkkin]

I live with the chronic preset of I'm wrong about pretty much everything and what can be done in terms of damage control. The only measure we've known is that of shortcomings and deficits.

Anyone compliments or praises anything I've done, I either assume they're joking, just saying it to be nice, or being sarcastic. I don't do things well or right. And if something does work it is either because no one noticed or it was a fluke.

 

[Outdated]

I feel like such a moron. There are simple things in life that I understand and should be able to master, but I just can't for whatever reason. It's important to me to feel intelligent, but also important that I'm honest with myself.

I relate to this. Many years ago I was teaching myself C++ and I discovered that I can remember and follow extremely complex sets of procedures, but the very simple instructions trip me up every time.