Seriously, between being force fed hardcore pornography from both my younger sister and my aunt (who really should have known better) when I was 10 YEARS OLD..... Then when I told my mother about it when it was happening, she told me I should feel sorry for my sister and my aunt..... Then my sister's friends brought explicit Hustler style magazines and spread them throughout my family's living room where they stayed for a couple of years, my mother claimed she hated that they were there but it was easier for her to complain about it than to take action and clean it up..... I hated that environment. My aunt's house had hardcore porn all over the place, too, and she was raising toddlers in that environment, and somehow I am an asshole for saying she was a bad mother over that. My mother is somehow more concerned about me violating the rights of others, which was never really an issue in my life, but she turned a blind eye whenever my boundaries were being violated. She tells me that I remember things differently than they actually happened - she isn't even trying to hide that she is resorting to gaslighting me, and she knows that because I was the one who spent a few months in a psych ward when I was a child, people will always take her word over mine in the blood family. I am the mental defect in the family, that is my prescribed role, when I first started enforcing my personal boundaries with my family a few years ago, my mother started telling everybody that she was worried my friends talked me into going off my medications because I was the crazy one.
Between the nonstop sexual harassment and occasional sexual abuse from my aunt, my mother and my sister when I was growing up, it took me a while to overcome the misogyny that I felt for too long.
My family is truly sick and diseased, and somehow I am the asshole because I am not going to sugarcoat any of that or make any excuses for any of it. I am saving myself now. I know how I want to live. I want to eat healthy food, have healthy relationships with healthy people, work my job, make my money, have more physical activity, not obsess about my family any longer. They are going to do what they are going to do, I can't change any of it. I can only change myself and how I react to their crap.
