I sometimes feel more autistic since self-DXing

[Princess Viola]

It feels weird, it's not like I'm going 'Well I've decided I'm autistic, so now I am going to act like all the stereotypes of autistic people' or anything like that, but is it just a consequence of me accepting this part of me and no longer trying to mask or suppress these behaviors and how I react to things? It probably is, right?

 

[VictorR]

is it just a consequence of me accepting this part of me and no longer trying to mask or suppress these behaviors and how I react to things? It probably is, right?

For me - yes - it's about having the freedom to be the real you, the you which was hiding under the mask

 

[Judge]

I went through most of my confused about who and what I was. Once I became self-aware, I began to feel more comfortable about it. I still mask when I feel the need, but at least I feel in control about such things rather than simply remain on "automatic pilot".

 

[AdamG]

Yes, I feel like I'm finally allowed to be myself

 

[Mr Alligator]

Yeah I think it’s normal.

You better understand who you are after a diagnosis, try to avoid some of the things that tire you out like masking etc.

Plus the last few years have really pushed people’s mental health to the limit, it certainly feels like I have less energy post you know what.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

It feels weird, it's not like I'm going 'Well I've decided I'm autistic, so now I am going to act like all the stereotypes of autistic people' or anything like that, but is it just a consequence of me accepting this part of me and no longer trying to mask or suppress these behaviors and how I react to things? It probably is, right?

You've taken the words out of my brain! I have felt the same way many many times since being comfortable with my autism. It's even worse on the days when my autism control me more than the other way around (low executive function, irritability, intense pda, so on and so forth). I'm curious to read the responses of others.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

Yeah I think it’s normal.

You better understand who you are after a diagnosis, try to avoid some of the things that tire you out like masking etc.

Plus the last few years have really pushed people’s mental health to the limit, it certainly feels like I have less energy post you know what.

Yes, I understand too where you're coming from.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

It feels weird, it's not like I'm going 'Well I've decided I'm autistic, so now I am going to act like all the stereotypes of autistic people' or anything like that, but is it just a consequence of me accepting this part of me and no longer trying to mask or suppress these behaviors and how I react to things? It probably is, right?

Yes. Self-awareness and acceptance plays a part. Once that "light bulb" turns on in your mind, then you can begin to separate and identify your autistic traits, your "autistic moments", from simple, everyday, normal behaviors that everyone else has.

Personally, I am not in a position professionally where I can just let my mind go and be myself, per se. Like my neurotypical peers at work, I have to project a professional persona when I am dealing with people. It is exhausting. I come home from work some days, absolutely trashed. Then,...my wife has to deal with my autistic behaviors because I am too mentally exhausted to mask anymore. Furthermore, over the years, I have had to have private conversations with specific members of my wife's family regarding this,..."It's not you, it's not about "like or dislike",...I have a condition."...and then have to explain how my autism may present to them and why I do the things I do. I suspect it's a bit of a process for most adult autistics "coming out" to the right people at the right time. Very few people understand what autism is. In fact, my brother-in-law said it perfectly, when I had to come out to him, "I've heard of autism, I just don't know what that means."

 

[Angular Chap]

is it just a consequence of me accepting this part of me and no longer trying to mask or suppress these behaviors and how I react to things? It probably is, right?

Nicely put, and yes I'd say you're right.

Sure there are ups and downs in the process of unmasking, but the self-awareness is part of healthy personal growth, understanding and self-care in the long term.

 

[Mr Alligator]

Yes. Self-awareness and acceptance plays a part. Once that "light bulb" turns on in your mind, then you can begin to separate and identify your autistic traits, your "autistic moments", from simple, everyday, normal behaviors that everyone else has.

Personally, I am not in a position professionally where I can just let my mind go and be myself, per se. Like my neurotypical peers at work, I have to project a professional persona when I am dealing with people. It is exhausting. I come home from work some days, absolutely trashed. Then,...my wife has to deal with my autistic behaviors because I am too mentally exhausted to mask anymore. Furthermore, over the years, I have had to have private conversations with specific members of my wife's family regarding this,..."It's not you, it's not about "like or dislike",...I have a condition."...and then have to explain how my autism may present to them and why I do the things I do. I suspect it's a bit of a process for most adult autistics "coming out" to the right people at the right time. Very few people understand what autism is. In fact, my brother-in-law said it perfectly, when I had to come out to him, "I've heard of autism, I just don't know what that means."

Being honest about who you are at work can be really good for others around you that haven’t shared their diagnosis or even suspicions (or perhaps they don’t even know they’re different - well, they might know but not understand why).

That said it isn’t easy to be very honest about it. The culture needs to be safe, supportive etc.

 

[AdamG]

I think a large part of it, for me, is that instead of constantly (even when alone) masking my autistic behaviors, I accept that this is just me, and normal, and not borderline psychotic as I had been led to believe. So I just go ahead and bounce a ball, or lie on the couch for 7 hours, or get involved in something for 3 days without many breaks. And I allow myself to say, now, to my wife "Hey, that just overwhelmed me, give me a sec to process" instead of yelling at her for "no apparent reason".
.
So it is about acceptance, and finding self-worth in my behaviors.