Parents made me get married at 16.
Husband (Mike, you don't know him. lol). Even then, he drank and pushed himself onto other women anywhere he went. He never changed. Today it's called date rape, back then it wasn't and I'm not sure who was the one being punished for me getting pregnant - me for getting pregnant, or him, but the answer was you had to get married.
Me at the time. I didn't know anything about marriage (except it's a lifetime) or cleaning and cooking or even how to take care of myself. I still had to be told to shower and stuff. My dishes would pile up in the sink until there were no clean ones. I often found mold growing in my Tupperware containers in the fridge. Didn't finish school so my jobs that my husband made me get was either waitressing or at a sewing factory. The only thing I did well was being a mother. I remember doctors and nurses being amazed when my son did not have severe diaper rash after a week of real bad diarrhea and no signs of dehydration.
I remember us going to a dance at a nightclub once. Mike wanted to dance with my cousin, my aunt, our friend, but not me. But they were dressed in the slinky black dresses and heels and looked really nice while I had on a corduroy skirt and winter sweater and boots. It was winter - I didn't know and no one told me how to dress. No one wanted to dance with me - and that's understandable, but was okay because I could never dance - too stiff.
He told me once that I was actually his second choice, my sister was his first but she wasn't interested in him so he settled for me. He thought he was marrying money - but little did he know that once I was married I became his responsibility, no longer my parents'. I realize I did nothing to make him happy, and I was blamed for his running around, but in my defense he was like that before we got married and was like that with all his other wives until he had a stroke and just couldn't any more.
I've always loved my son as much as life itself and never once regretted him - he was my world. But when I look back at this time in my life - I still get a little angry.
No one knew about autism then, and I was just seen as a little weird. (A little???) And, I guess, parents didn't try to know or understand their kids back then either. If they had, they would have seen that I was not ready to be pushed out of the nest yet. But that's what parents did then. Oh, and when I did finally divorce him I was told and convinced I was going to hell - but I was already in hell. But I guess according to them I had to live in hell in this life to avoid it in the next. My mom still loved me and would visit me and stuff, but my dad would never have anything to do with me again. No big loss.
Oh I've gotta get out of this - I don't like the mood it puts me in when I remember these things. I'll be up working on the apartment today.)
My point was supposed to be the unknown autism at that time and understanding how others would not really want to be around me.
Husband (Mike, you don't know him. lol). Even then, he drank and pushed himself onto other women anywhere he went. He never changed. Today it's called date rape, back then it wasn't and I'm not sure who was the one being punished for me getting pregnant - me for getting pregnant, or him, but the answer was you had to get married.
Me at the time. I didn't know anything about marriage (except it's a lifetime) or cleaning and cooking or even how to take care of myself. I still had to be told to shower and stuff. My dishes would pile up in the sink until there were no clean ones. I often found mold growing in my Tupperware containers in the fridge. Didn't finish school so my jobs that my husband made me get was either waitressing or at a sewing factory. The only thing I did well was being a mother. I remember doctors and nurses being amazed when my son did not have severe diaper rash after a week of real bad diarrhea and no signs of dehydration.
I remember us going to a dance at a nightclub once. Mike wanted to dance with my cousin, my aunt, our friend, but not me. But they were dressed in the slinky black dresses and heels and looked really nice while I had on a corduroy skirt and winter sweater and boots. It was winter - I didn't know and no one told me how to dress. No one wanted to dance with me - and that's understandable, but was okay because I could never dance - too stiff.
He told me once that I was actually his second choice, my sister was his first but she wasn't interested in him so he settled for me. He thought he was marrying money - but little did he know that once I was married I became his responsibility, no longer my parents'. I realize I did nothing to make him happy, and I was blamed for his running around, but in my defense he was like that before we got married and was like that with all his other wives until he had a stroke and just couldn't any more.
I've always loved my son as much as life itself and never once regretted him - he was my world. But when I look back at this time in my life - I still get a little angry.
No one knew about autism then, and I was just seen as a little weird. (A little???) And, I guess, parents didn't try to know or understand their kids back then either. If they had, they would have seen that I was not ready to be pushed out of the nest yet. But that's what parents did then. Oh, and when I did finally divorce him I was told and convinced I was going to hell - but I was already in hell. But I guess according to them I had to live in hell in this life to avoid it in the next. My mom still loved me and would visit me and stuff, but my dad would never have anything to do with me again. No big loss.
Oh I've gotta get out of this - I don't like the mood it puts me in when I remember these things. I'll be up working on the apartment today.)
My point was supposed to be the unknown autism at that time and understanding how others would not really want to be around me.
