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I took the plunge

Markness

Markness

Young God
V.I.P Member
I saw Serena, the nice lady who works at Dutch Bros., again and decided to take the plunge in asking for her phone number. However, I worded things in a way that was suggested to me by my therapist. Still, she responded positively and gave me her number!
 
Markness, this is more than I've ever been able to do, and I'm hoping you & Serena can build a good solid situation that is stronger than your mom & your brother & the people who are giving you a hard time.


Props to your therapist for giving you a good practical way to ask someone for her phone number; genuine workable Advice is worth its weight in gold. I hope Ms Serena and yourself can really connect--in an actual friendship, potential relationship, wherever you both take it!

Your therapist gave you a good idea, but -- don't forget -- the success of actually going and, as you put it, taking the plunge, that was all you taking the initiative, so this success is definitely your own. Good job!
 
Happy for you

Glad you got it

I have learned to not take things personal. It’s a girl give me her number, great. If not, I’m good too
 
What, really, I think this is great news. Don't give up in life, go for it, and keep trying. This is for everything in life. Remember you worked hard to get to this point, have patience and understanding, and communicate and ask if you don't understand, and it's okay to apologize, nobody is perfect. And don't let your mom muck it up, in fact keep your mom out of your relationship, it will save you a lot of hassles. May be you could give Tony Ramirez a little advice. Don’t rush it, just take it slowly.
 
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Good for you. I was going to do this too the one women Tracy Lee I approached last year at the church coffee hour and have good conversations with the rare times we meet. I should have then instead of getting that nutzo Madison number on Wednesday prayer who I stupidly bought to the church who I meet at a random coffee shop. It became an textationship.

Last time I spoke to Tracy I warned her not to give me her number as I am a mess and I would trauma dump. All in am saying Mark is looking for the red flags. If you message back and forth make sure she actually wants to meet up and not for a few minutes then make up an excuse to leave then keep doing it. That can cause you to trauma dump on your texting which will turn into a textationship which will end badly.
 
Markness, if nothing romantic comes out of this, the fact that you tried and got out of a loop of "I can't do this" is an awesome feat. I think this is what people talk about - you going out there and making an effort.

I wish you all the best. Keep taking plunges.
 
Markness said:
I saw Serena, the nice lady who works at Dutch Bros., again and decided to take the plunge in asking for her phone number. However, I worded things in a way that was suggested to me by my therapist. Still, she responded positively and gave me her number!
Click to expand...

How did your therapist suggest you present the idea?
 
tree said:
How did your therapist suggest you present the idea?
Click to expand...
She told me to say something like “I enjoy our conversations. Would you like to keep talking outside of work?”, which I said something similar to. However, she has not replied to me even though I’ve initiated contact with her. I really am worried I got ghosted.
 
How long ago did you do that?

Was there any sort of 'hook'/topic which would elicit a reply in your message?
 
tree said:
How long ago did you do that?

Was there any sort of 'hook'/topic which would elicit a reply in your message?
Click to expand...
In the morning and sometime after noon.

I told her “Good Morning!” and asked how she was doing. I also told her it was storming outside again and to be careful.
 
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Nothing that really would elicit a prompt response?

Nothing like "Did you bring your umbrella with you today?"
(friendly or jocular inquiry...)
 
Just call her. If she is truly ghosting you she won't talk to you. But don't let this stop you from talking to others.
 
Honestly, I would just wait.

I think putting all your eggs in one basket isn't the best thing. If she doesn't respond, you at least tried, AND you proved to yourself that you can ask a girl for their number.

This isn't really a total loss. You gained a little confidence from this experience.
 
She replied to me this morning. She said she was super busy and she also asked me about my job. I asked her if she planned on getting a library card.
 
I asked because she’s not originally from Texas and is still new to the area. She also didn’t mention having a card either so I thought asking would encourage another reply.
 
When I moved, I got a library card for the first time in awhile...I use it all the time.

See Markness, you just had to be patient a bit for her to respond. I would try not to fret so much if you don't always hear from her, or if she doesn't respond immediately to your messages.
 
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