I went to an aspie meetup last night..

[kris]

and had a great time! I've been on the meetup list for almost a year and chickened out for every meeting... I think mostly just social anxiety and also worry over self diagnosis rather than having an official one. There were only 4 of us there, but the other gal was also self-diagnosed.

It was so helpful to meet some other people on the spectrum.. and obvious to me that I belong there. We talked a lot about social difficulties and similar topics.. gosh, it was so nice to talk about it. I'm definitely going to keep going to meetings.

 

[Suzanne]

Wow, Kris, sounds amazing and would love to experience that myself.

 

[kris]

Wow, Kris, sounds amazing and would love to experience that myself.

You could always start one, Suzanne

 

[grommet]

My first time going to an aspie meeting with MeetUp was amazing. Being around my own people changed how I felt about myself. I was very nervous. I brought an extra shirt and changed halfway through the meeting. I continued going on and off for a few years. It made a very big difference for me.

 

[EdR]

Good for you kris.

I have been actively looking for a group nearby (Reading, PA) but have been unsuccessful. The only groups that I have been able to find are for youths.

 

[kris]

My first time going to an aspie meeting with MeetUp was amazing. Being around my own people changed how I felt about myself. I was very nervous. I brought an extra shirt and changed halfway through the meeting. I continued going on and off for a few years. It made a very big difference for me.

I was very nervous, too! I wore 2 undershirts haha. My heart was pounding the whole way there and I almost just ordered coffee and left without saying hi.. glad I didn't, though. I caught myself nervously stimming quite a bit, but I think I was starting to relax by the end of the meeting. I have been around other suspected aspies before, but it's such a sensitive subject.. you never know if someone doesn't want to be outed or maybe isn't aware.. it was nice to have it all out in the open and be able to talk.

 

[kris]

Good for you kris.

I have been actively looking for a group nearby (Reading, PA) but have been unsuccessful. The only groups that I have been able to find are for youths.

Sounds like it's time for you to start a group, too Perhaps your wife could help you?

It was really casual.. just coffee and a coffee shop.. I think the group leader had some structured topics to talk about, but conversation was mostly organic and we got off topic a lot. None of us were making eye contact.. I think we must have looked like a slightly shady lot to onlookers haha.

 

[Peace]

Great story. I wish there was something like that by me. I live in a very remote area and we don't even have that many people.

 

[kris]

Great story. I wish there was something like that by me. I live in a very remote area and we don't even have that many people.

I grew up in a very remote part of Montana.. I know what that's like. I really do enjoy the city now.. I like being able to walk places like groceries and the dog park. I have a surprisingly quiet corner loft with lots of natural light.. I love my place.

 

[Suzanne]

I was very nervous, too! I wore 2 undershirts haha. My heart was pounding the whole way there and I almost just ordered coffee and left without saying hi.. glad I didn't, though. I caught myself nervously stimming quite a bit, but I think I was starting to relax by the end of the meeting. I have been around other suspected aspies before, but it's such a sensitive subject.. you never know if someone doesn't want to be outed or maybe isn't aware.. it was nice to have it all out in the open and be able to talk.

At least you were able to order a coffee lol; not even that would I be able to do but yes, typically for me, starting to relax by the END of the meeting!!!

 

[Suzanne]

You could always start one, Suzanne

If only! First sadly I am not a leader and even when I find myself being a leader, feels way too surreal and one needs "subjects" lol and living in France, too hard for me!

 

[EdR]

Sounds like it's time for you to start a group, too Perhaps your wife could help you?

That is a possibility, but I cannot even think of a way to find other adults who would be interested. My therapist is a part of a group with about 25 others and I am the sole adult with HFA.

Any suggestions?

 

[kris]

That is a possibility, but I cannot even think of a way to find other adults who would be interested. My therapist is a part of a group with about 25 others and I am the sole adult with HFA.

Any suggestions?

That's a tough one.. I found my group be searching this meetup site..
Find your people - Meetup

I live in Los Angeles, though, so lots of people here... and it does depend on people searching the site looking for your group. But it honestly couldn't hurt to put up a page and see if anyone joins. You may need to expand the group to your nearest large city.

This is the group for SoCal.. in case you wanted to see an example page.
LA Adults with High-Functioning Autism/Asperger's etc. (Los Angeles, CA)- Meetup

I use meetup quite a lot because I have been making an effort to be more social and couldn't think of things to do that didn't involve going to bars (and I don't have friends that invite me out).. I've done some drawing groups and met a really great running group in my area. It's pretty low pressure and I've found that people have generally been welcoming to new members.. once I get over the initial anxiety of meeting new people, I do ok. I like that the groups are focused on some sort of common interest rather than just a party type of thing.

 

[Judge]

At least you were able to order a coffee lol; not even that would I be able to do but yes, typically for me, starting to relax by the END of the meeting!!!

I often wonder how we would all do meeting each other in person. I'm assuming the operative word at least at the beginning would be "awkward". But yes, at some point I would figure to become relaxed as well.

 

[kris]

I often wonder how we would all do meeting each other in person. I'm assuming the operative word at least at the beginning would be "awkward". But yes, at some point I would figure to become relaxed as well.

It was interesting.. it was one of the more awkward meetups I've been to for sure.. we all looked awkward and shifty.. looking down into our laps and me stimming awkwardly. All of us at very different places on the spectrum, too. It felt more awkward to me than meeting NT's but conversation was way easier. Go figure

 

[EdR]

That's a tough one.. I found my group be searching this meetup site..
Find your people - Meetup

I live in Los Angeles, though, so lots of people here... and it does depend on people searching the site looking for your group. But it honestly couldn't hurt to put up a page and see if anyone joins. You may need to expand the group to your nearest large city.

This is the group for SoCal.. in case you wanted to see an example page.
LA Adults with High-Functioning Autism/Asperger's etc. (Los Angeles, CA)- Meetup

I use meetup quite a lot because I have been making an effort to be more social and couldn't think of things to do that didn't involve going to bars (and I don't have friends that invite me out).. I've done some drawing groups and met a really great running group in my area. It's pretty low pressure and I've found that people have generally been welcoming to new members.. once I get over the initial anxiety of meeting new people, I do ok. I like that the groups are focused on some sort of common interest rather than just a party type of thing.

Thank you kris. I will see what I can do on Meetup.

 

[grapesicles]

I would love to do that! My county NHS centre told me last year they were organising some kind of support group at the time and I asked to be contacted about it but never heard back.

Searched on Meetup.com and unfortunately there's nothing near me, though seems a lot of people near me are extremely keen on naturism..

 

[ChrisC1983]

i just checked meetup.com in my area.. there isn't anything going on right now but i did notice it had a way to send a notification when something does pop up with certain keywords (like "aspergers") so i clicked all that stuff........ who knows. i can be pretty sure i wont go to the 1st one.. maybe not even the 10th.. but a part of me will want to. and i know if i put enough focus into it i can logic myself into going
thank god for logic. i wish i knew others to challenge me as much as i challenge myself but atleast i can outlogic myself eventually

 

[grommet]

It was interesting.. it was one of the more awkward meetups I've been to for sure.. we all looked awkward and shifty.. looking down into our laps and me stimming awkwardly. All of us at very different places on the spectrum, too. It felt more awkward to me than meeting NT's but conversation was way easier. Go figure

Your experience and mine were so similar. I was so incredibly nervous for the first part and then I too started to relax. And the way you describe the room, yes, that is how it was at my meetings. Everybody was different and people were stimming - it was great To be among my people and we could for the first time really be ourselves and no one judged or even stared. That meant so much to me.

 

[Progster]

That sounds like a great experience - I'm glad it went well

Great story. I wish there was something like that by me. I live in a very remote area and we don't even have that many people.

Same here - I don't know anyone in my area with AS - if there are any others, they are well and truly in the closet. Unfortunately, autism and other similar conditions are still considered taboo here and nobody even talks about them. I'd like to meet others with AS in my area, but I don't know how I'd do it.