I wish I could fit in with video game culture

[Markness]

I play video games but I am not really part of the culture of them and when I see others making gaming their career or guys who game that have girlfriends or vice-versa (The YouTuber, Red Bard, comes to mind. I really envy her boyfriend since he plays Guilty Gear and has a cute girlfriend instead of getting derided as a “creep” or “loser” like a lot of women in the culture I live in call male gamers), it really makes me feel the pain of missing out.

Why am I unable to truly become part of the culture? Well, I honestly struggle at even the games I enjoy. It sometimes takes me a year or two to play just the main story of games like Disgaea or Final Fantasy and I get wrecked by the post game content or the harder side quests. I’ve never done a 100% play through on any of the ones I’ve played because the amount of things required to get that percent is daunting.

I can play fighting games on a casual level but I have lost more often than I have won at them. I also have never mastered every single mechanic in them, even the ones I enjoy. I don’t play online because the connection is always laggy and I’ve been kicked off after losing. I don’t want to go through that sort of humiliation.

I don’t play games like Overwatch, Fortnite, Mindcraft, Elder Scrolls, or Fallout because from what I’ve seen from those games, I would never be able to excel at them due to my job bleeding my life dry.

I don’t game on a PC or laptop but not because I don’t want to but because I cannot afford a good PC nor the extra stuff to enhance the gaming capabilities unless I gave up every other hobby I have (and I would still have to wait a long time to save enough money) and my laptop is a crappy outdated Dell that I didn’t know was crappy until long after I got it.

When it comes to the social aspect of video gaming, I always get the short end of the stick. Most of the people I work with don’t play them and the ones who do don’t include me because they aren’t interested in making new friends. When I go to video game stores, the shoppers will have a good time talking about games with others but will scowl are me when I try to interact, even if they like the same games I do.

I don’t fit in anywhere.

 

[Misery]

Oooooookay. A couple of things about this from someone experienced in almost all of it:

1. The social aspect of gaming... particularly on the AAA multiplayer side... aint what you seem to think it is. Dont believe videos on Youtube. That stuff is cherry-picked. Gamers are FREAKING TOXIC. Outright disgusting. Nasty, awful, terrible. Anyone that's been into that mess long enough knows it. The overally gaming community is freaking famous for it! Fighting games in particular, really.

2. You arent going to master fighting games with that approach. If you'd like to get better, you'll have to approach things differently. Get used to losing, because it *will* happen, over and over again. You dont get to start out as some sort of prodigy. It's going to take not just practice... but also learning from those losses. You cant Git Gud at fighters by getting depressed about losses instead of learning from them. Note, also, that you DONT need to spend insane amounts of time "training" to become skilled. I sure as bloody hell didnt, I dont have that kind of tolerance for tedium. Understand also, this is coming from someone that actually did achieve absolute mastery. I know how braggy that sounds, but it's the truth. And I know full well that it cant be done without true determination and a refusal to ever give up.

3. You dont need a giant mega-PC to play games. Seriously, you dont. Back in, say, the early 2000s, that idea was true. And even more true before then. But now? Things are different. A freaking toaster will run most things. Dont get me wrong... it wont run them with mega-crazy-hyper graphics. But... it doesnt need to. The point is the gameplay, not the visuals.

4. I say this every bloody time, but nobody ever listens: There ARE games beyond just the AAA crap. Try something NEW. Go dive into the indie landscape, and the games that exist as a sort of between-space. I used to play big-name games all the time. About 7 years ago, I got fed up with their nonsense, found a couple of very different games (Isaac and Spelunky) and dumped the big stuff for the dramatically better smaller stuff. When it comes to this hobby, it was by far the best decision I made. On top of that many of these games will run on *super* weak machines, if need be... yet they'll still be amazing experiences. Many also have large, very active communities that arent terrible (usually, there's always trolls and jerks in ANY group).

5. You mentioned the following games: Overwatch, Fortnite, Minecraft, Elder Scrolls, or Fallout. Overwatch and Fortnite are... honestly they're corporate creations (though Fortnite didnt start out as one). The point of them is not to give you amazing gameplay. The point is to suck you in so that you pay more and more for a game you already bought. And the community is full of snotballs. Elder Scrolls and Fallout, on the other hand, ARE good (well... not Fallout 76, avoid that one), and on top of that... they are mostly single-player experiences. Nobody is going to care if you're amazing at them or bad at them. But also... they really arent very hard, even I know that. They arent going to have some terrible learning curve. And Minecraft is, well... whatever the bloody hell you want it to be. Of all currently available games, it is THE most versatile. And I seriously mean that. Want it to be a wild adventure full of danger? It'll give you that. DONT want that? It wont give you that. Want to focus more on building than adventuring? You can make that choice. Want to turn it into freaking Pokemon? Yes, you can do even that. Best of all, you dont need a crazy powerful computer to play it. I mean, freaking look at it! OF COURSE it'll run on anything. Play the Java version, and learn all about what it can do. And how you can change it with mods to make it into anything you should want. Hell, there's even a big mod just focused on making it run extra smooth on weaker machines... just to make the experience even better. This is coming from someone who has been a huuuuuge fan of Minecraft since before freaking chickens were implemented (AKA, over 10 years).

6. When it comes to this hobby overall... stop comparing yourself to Youtubers. Stop thinking that just because you cant emulate some Youtuber's level of skill, that it means you are bad at X game. It doesnt. But really... you COULD reach that level of skill if you truly TRY and never give up.

7. Video game stores arent the best places to meet people. Among most gamers these days, they have a.... very bad reputation. Let's just put it that way. You want to meet other gamers, you go online.

8. For the love of all things kitten-shaped, drop the obsession with finding a girlfriend. I've said this many times before: that obsession will make it dramatically more difficult for you to ever find one, period. ...Also dont believe the stereotype that women all hate guys who play games. That's ridiculous.


Okay that's enough outta me, my phone just started screaming with scary alert sounds.

 

[Markness]

I am short on time to reply because I told my younger brother I was suicidal and he wants to talk to me but I want to address some quick points.

I honestly need something better than the laptop I have to play games on it. I tried to play an indie Steam game with it and it was extremely laggy.

I don’t know if Disgaea and Guilty Gear count as AAA games. I don’t play GTA and Call of Duty, which I’ve read fall under that umbrella.

I’ve failed to establish friendships with other gamers online despite my best attempts similar to what happens to me in the real world.

Part of the reason why I am suicidal is because I failed to get even a coffee date despite spending hours on dating apps while my younger cousins who I’ve known since they were babies are getting married and having children of their own. I don’t want to live any longer if I can’t have a girlfriend. I didn’t say all women hate guys who play games. I even mentioned Red Bard and her boyfriend. I just live in a culture where men are expected to give up “childish” things and some women like my mother think video games aren’t for adults. My stepfather also thinks video games are more dangerous than actual firearms.

 

[Misery]

First of all... calm down. There's no reason to be feeling bad about any of it. One way or another... this is all just video games. Even I know it's not really important. YOU are important... not the games.

I'll respond to the other stuff now though:

Starting with the important bit:

Look, I dont dive too much into the whole relationship thing, but there's one big, big thing I CAN tell you, one major piece of advice in it:

If you want one... you gotta drop the "I cant" attitude, and replace it with "I *will*". That low attitude is what's holding you back. It takes any chances you might have, and destroys it. You CAN get what you're after... but it's not going to happen as long as you keep telling yourself that it cant and it wont. And here's the thing: other people can spot this... NTs in particular. You want to meet someone? You cant go into it with a sad, woe-is-me attitude. Have more freaking confidence in yourself... you're worth it, wether you believe it right now or not. And just like I said with gaming... you cant dwell on losses. How can you ever improve, if you do that?

NOBODY gets an easy ride for this stuff. And those that SEEM to, typically end up depressed due to being in BAD relationships. This sort of thing cant be rushed, and it cant be won through desperation. Determination, confidence, a refusal to give up, and, well... just being a good person... that's what'll do it.

We here on the forum can help you with the attitude thing, with feeling better about yourself, that sort of thing. That's what this place is for, help and support. Seriously, the first step towards getting anywhere at all is to have more faith in yourself... and that really is something that this forum can help you with. All you have to do is talk about it.

With that out of the way, I'll address the gaming stuff:

I honestly need something better than the laptop I have to play games on it. I tried to play an indie Steam game with it and it was extremely laggy.

What game was it? Thing is, some games are a laggy mess even on the strongest PC. It doesnt matter how good the machine is if the game was programmed by a monkey, after all. Also, if you're playing Disgaea and Guilty Gear on anything at all... whatever machine that is, it can handle indies. Even if it's a console. As I stated in another thread, there arent nearly as many indies on consoles as on PC, but... there's still plenty. Lots and lots of stuff to pick from, and it's all inexpensive.

Hell, if you'd like some suggestions on games to try, I'd be happy to offer some, depending on what you're looking for. It's easy enough to check and see if a particular game is available on whatever console before suggesting it.

I don’t know if Disgaea and Guilty Gear count as AAA games. I don’t play GTA and Call of Duty, which I’ve read fall under that umbrella.

Disgaea definitely counts at this point, that's a BIG franchise. Fortunately though that particular developer hasnt gone to the dark side. GG, much as I hate to say it, is mostly dead... has been for a loooooong time. Which is actually going to make it even harder to get into, because almost everyone that still plays it will be experts, due to new players just... not taking interest. GG was mostly replaced by Blazblue many years ago. I'm talking like, early PS3 era. If you want to get into fighting games... try something else. There are all sorts of choices. That's another aspect of fighting games I didnt mention: being bad at one game doesnt mean you'll be bad at all of them. I cant at all do the "full 3D" types like Tekken or Soul Caliber myself, for instance... never could. Nobody's skill is universal across a given genre. You gotta try new things!

I’ve failed to establish friendships with other gamers online despite my best attempts similar to what happens to me in the real world.

I DID say the community is pretty nasty. Dont get discouraged even if you have 100 bad interactions with people. It's a "diamond in the rough" sort of thing, really.

Here's the thing: Where have you actually gone? That's a major aspect of it. Some sites (okay, a lot of sites) are just terrible places (Reddit, for instance), which means a terrible experience of trying to meet anyone at all. But others are not so bad. But let me say this: if even I... negative and unpleasant as I am... can meet other gamers, so can you. Like with fighting games though, you cant go giving up on it. That's simply how it works. Making friends... REAL friends... aint easy, no matter who you are or how great a person you might be.

...Besides... did it ever occur to you to look somewhere a bit more "close to home", so to speak? We DO have gamers on this very site, you know... not just myself, but plenty of others (despite the site still lacking a dedicated gaming section). Most of us here would be happy to chat with you or even be friends if it's what you actually want. And all of us here understand the whole autism thing, too. Granted we may not be the absolute best at the whole communication thing... but we'll at least be honest/real instead of "fake". If you get what I mean, I'm not sure how to phrase that.

I just live in a culture where men are expected to give up “childish” things and some women like my mother think video games aren’t for adults. My stepfather also thinks video games are more dangerous than actual firearms.

Come now... this is silly. I'll put it this way: the video game industry is worth billions upon billions of dollars... you think they make that money selling just to kids? Truly mature, definitely-not-for-kids games are a major thing and have been for a long time. I dont mean to be rude, but your mother and stepfather are both dead wrong. They dont like it for the same reason alot of older people dont like it: it's not something THEY grew up with, and so it is new and scary to them.

Time for a Simpsons quote: "I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isnt 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me".

When it comes to people that make blanket statements like "it's all for kids" or "OMG it's dangerous".... that's the REAL reason behind it, even if they dont want to ever admit it. Dont let people in your life control you... you arent some puppet to be commanded at someone else's will. If they dont like it, well... you know what, that's THEIR problem... not yours. Also seriously, the idea that everyone out there thinks it's childish really IS false. I'm not saying that just to make you feel better. I'm saying it because it's the truth.

But also, let me say something I've always genuinely believed: Being "mature" isnt about doing things that parts of society have given that label to. Being a real, truly mature adult means BEING YOURSELF and making your own decisions. If you wanted to, I dunno, sit there and play with dolls for 2 hours... dagnabit, you can do that. You're an adult: YOU get to decide, and to heck with what anyone else says.

And I tell you this: When it comes to relationships... someone who is actually WORTH IT wont judge you on the fact that you're a gamer. Anyone who does that isnt worth being with... period.

 

[Kalinychta]

What you’re doing with your life clearly isn’t working for you. You respond to all helpful posts with excuses. If you want your life to change, you need to make the effort to change it.

The type of video games you like may give you ideas as to a new hobby you could take up, one that will expose you to other people in the real world. You mentioned fight games. Start going to the gym and then join a karate class. Every minute you spend sitting in front of a TV screen is time that you could be using to truly discover yourself and make real changes.

I personally could never date a grown man who plays video games. The best thing you can do for yourself is throw your game consule out the window and start living your life for real. You’re not going to better yourself sitting on your butt and living vicariously through pixels on a screen. Make changes, Markness. The choices you’ve made and continue to make are not working for you.

 

[Misery]

What you’re doing with your life clearly isn’t working for you. You respond to all helpful posts with excuses. If you want your life to change, you need to make the effort to change it.

The type of video games you like may give you ideas as to a new hobby you could take up, one that will expose you to other people in the real world. You mentioned fight games. Start going to the gym and then join a karate class. Every minute you spend sitting in front of a TV screen is time that you could be using to truly discover yourself and make real changes.

I personally could never date a grown man who plays video games. The best thing you can do for yourself is throw your game consule out the window and start living your life for real. You’re not going to better yourself sitting on your butt and living vicariously through pixels on a screen. Make changes, Markness. The choices you’ve made and continue to make are not working for you.

See, that's the thing I was warning him about:

Why in the world would you judge someone based on a hobby they happen to have? You mention getting another hobby, but.... what would be the difference? If the guy was into sports, let me guess: it'd be different.... right? Despite that sports for most people involves just staring at a screen while someone ELSE plays a game, never taking part... yet this seems to be the "logic" that some people put out. This isnt about gaming being childish (and indeed it is not). It's about it being something that you, personally, do not understand. Despite a zillion others who DO understand.

I'm going to give that Simpsons quote again, but notice there's a bit now added to it:

"I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isnt 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you."

That last bit wasnt relevant before, so I left it out. Now it is. I'll leave you to figure out why.

Also, this "not the real world, get out and do X instead" nonsense.

There's 2 points against that:

1. There's a pandemic. I can tell you right now that "go to the gym" is a very bad bit of advice to give to anyone at all right now... dont do it, Markness. Stay safe instead.

2. I myself have had a whole lot of experiences over the last 10 years. Travelling by myself, for instance. Meeting new people (who just so happen to be real). Experiencing new places, new things, and even leading to MORE hobbies that led to more things! Getting OUT THERE. Improving myself, gaining new talents! And those few friends I've had since forever, well... ALL of it is because of my gaming hobby. Without it, I'd have had none of this... no experiences, no travel, none of the whole "improving as a person"... among other things it's given me, that I'd rather not go into here (but that are all positive). Like ANY hobby... it can take you places. It can gain you new talents and knowledge. It can do many things... like any hobby. You just have to not go totally overboard with it (also like any hobby).

Note also that when I say "meet new people" I mean in person, specifically. To think that it cant lead to real meetings or real social experiences is ridiculous. But also, to think that online meetings arent "real" in this day and age is ALSO ridiculous. OF COURSE they are real. The other people that play games, including those you meet online, are... surprise... real people. They are not robots.

Yet, according to that logic of yours... I've apparently never done anything at all, or met anyone, or gone anywhere, or learned anything, because a life devoid of anything interesting is what gaming leads to... right? Absurd.

Honestly I get so freaking tired of these nonsensical blanket statements, which is exactly what it is. Simply because you personally cannot understand something doesnt make it bad, or useless. And it sure as bloody hell doesnt make it childish. And it aint just gaming I'm talking about here. I've spent so, so much time watching people get bashed for their hobbies, their interests, their unique quirks, whatever, and it always goes just... like... this: "go out there and do X thing that I actually understand and approve of instead of being yourself and doing what you enjoy doing, and if you dont it's terrible and bad and the wrong decision".


@Markness My advice to you in the previous posts still stands. No matter what others may say to you... it's best to BE YOURSELF and make your own decisions. THAT, and that alone, is real maturity. Have confidence in yourself regardless of what others say.


Anyway. That's enough out of me this time. I'm clearly getting more than a little irritated and that aint going to lead anywhere good, so I'm out.

Markness, if you ever need someone to talk to, vent at, or even just want someone to listen to you a bit... feel free to message me. I genuinely do hope you feel better soon. You're a good person who deserves good things.

 

[Kalinychta]

See, that's the thing I was warning him about:

Why in the world would you judge someone based on a hobby they happen to have? You mention getting another hobby, but.... what would be the difference? If the guy was into sports, let me guess: it'd be different.... right? Despite that sports for most people involves just staring at a screen while someone ELSE plays a game, never taking part... yet this seems to be the "logic" that some people put out. This isnt about gaming being childish (and indeed it is not). It's about it being something that you, personally, do not understand. Despite a zillion others who DO understand.

I'm going to give that Simpsons quote again, but notice there's a bit now added to it:

"I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isnt 'it', and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you."

That last bit wasnt relevant before, so I left it out. Now it is. I'll leave you to figure out why.

Also, this "not the real world, get out and do X instead" nonsense.

There's 2 points against that:

1. There's a pandemic. I can tell you right now that "go to the gym" is a very bad bit of advice to give to anyone at all right now... dont do it, Markness. Stay safe instead.

2. I myself have had a whole lot of experiences over the last 10 years. Travelling by myself, for instance. Meeting new people (who just so happen to be real). Experiencing new places, new things, and even leading to MORE hobbies that led to more things! Getting OUT THERE. Improving myself, gaining new talents! And those few friends I've had since forever, well... ALL of it is because of my gaming hobby. Without it, I'd have had none of this... no experiences, no travel, none of the whole "improving as a person"... among other things it's given me, that I'd rather not go into here (but that are all positive). Like ANY hobby... it can take you places. It can gain you new talents and knowledge. It can do many things... like any hobby. You just have to not go totally overboard with it (also like any hobby).

Note also that when I say "meet new people" I mean in person, specifically. To think that it cant lead to real meetings or real social experiences is ridiculous. But also, to think that online meetings arent "real" in this day and age is ALSO ridiculous. OF COURSE they are real. The other people that play games, including those you meet online, are... surprise... real people. They are not robots.

Yet, according to that logic of yours... I've apparently never done anything at all, or met anyone, or gone anywhere, or learned anything, because a life devoid of anything interesting is what gaming leads to... right? Absurd.

Honestly I get so freaking tired of these nonsensical blanket statements, which is exactly what it is. Simply because you personally cannot understand something doesnt make it bad, or useless. And it sure as bloody hell doesnt make it childish. And it aint just gaming I'm talking about here. I've spent so, so much time watching people get bashed for their hobbies, their interests, their unique quirks, whatever, and it always goes just... like... this: "go out there and do X thing that I actually understand and approve of instead of being yourself and doing what you enjoy doing, and if you dont it's terrible and bad and the wrong decision".


@Markness My advice to you in the previous posts still stands. No matter what others may say to you... it's best to BE YOURSELF and make your own decisions. THAT, and that alone, is real maturity. Have confidence in yourself regardless of what others say.


Anyway. That's enough out of me this time. I'm clearly getting more than a little irritated and that aint going to lead anywhere good, so I'm out.

Markness, if you ever need someone to talk to, vent at, or even just want someone to listen to you a bit... feel free to message me. I genuinely do hope you feel better soon. You're a good person who deserves good things.

Well, the guy is deeply depressed and lonely, so whatever you and I think about video games in general, they clearly aren’t making him happy (rather the opposite, in fact). I also think it is important for him to be receptive to the comments and advice of others: it doesn’t sound like he knows who he is, so your “be yourself” advice may not be very helpful right now, and I can’t imagine that he’s going to find any answers via a first-person shooter cartoon game.

I read an essay in The Dublin Review not long ago by a guy who described his addiction to video games, and I found it very disturbing. I encourage Markness to try out new hobbies. If he doesn’t want to go to the gym because of the “pandemic,” perhaps taking up jogging or simply walking for now would be a good idea. Writing, reading, drawing, learning a new language, etc.—anything that might shake him out of the funk he’s in and sets him on the road to change.

 

[Thinx]

Depression really affects our perception of things, and that's probably what you are also up against here. But as you say, lots of people don't get into games at all, I am one such, and I m sure i would not get good scores on them, although they do sound really fun and interesting.

As they are a hobby, it's fine to just tootle along with games and enjoy them. To be honest, I wouldn't think those girls are thrilled about their guy being absorbed in games all the time, it's just a front, really they'd probably enjoy a bit more quality time with him. Try getting out for a walk or run if you feel yourself brooding on this.

 

[Misery]

Well, the guy is deeply depressed and lonely, so whatever you and I think about video games in general, they clearly aren’t making him happy (rather the opposite, in fact). I also think it is important for him to be receptive to the comments and advice of others: it doesn’t sound like he knows who he is, so your “be yourself” advice may not be very helpful right now, and I can’t imagine that he’s going to find any answers via a first-person shooter cartoon game.

I read an essay in The Dublin Review not long ago by a guy who described his addiction to video games, and I found it very disturbing. I encourage Markness to try out new hobbies. If he doesn’t want to go to the gym because of the “pandemic,” perhaps taking up jogging or simply walking for now would be a good idea. Writing, reading, drawing, learning a new language, etc.—anything that might shake him out of the funk he’s in and sets him on the road to change.

Just as a very quick note:

Not a good idea to take too much away from "addiction" stories. Those are quite rare. In all my years, I've never once met anyone actually addicted to those. But also, it can happen with any hobby (or things that arent hobbies). You think video game addiction is bad? Try someone who has stuffed their entire house full of drones/quad-copters and RC vehicles of all sorts. Even worse if that person also has pets. That's a recipe for tragedy. It's also a recipe for your house burning down.

Based on everything Markness has said (in this thread and others), he's not anywhere near addiction. Heck, I can pretty much guarantee I do way more gaming than him, but I aint near it either. So no real worries about that.

Also, yes, I do agree on the new hobby bit, but.... ehhhhh... I'll be honest here, he's gotten that advice more than a few times in his various forum topics. Usually from me. It doesnt seem to have gone anywhere. Is why I didnt bring it up, I already pounded that particular horse corpse into a fine smear.

To be fair though, finding a new hobby IS quite difficult.

 

[Markness]

Well, the guy is deeply depressed and lonely, so whatever you and I think about video games in general, they clearly aren’t making him happy (rather the opposite, in fact). I also think it is important for him to be receptive to the comments and advice of others: it doesn’t sound like he knows who he is, so your “be yourself” advice may not be very helpful right now, and I can’t imagine that he’s going to find any answers via a first-person shooter cartoon game.

I read an essay in The Dublin Review not long ago by a guy who described his addiction to video games, and I found it very disturbing. I encourage Markness to try out new hobbies. If he doesn’t want to go to the gym because of the “pandemic,” perhaps taking up jogging or simply walking for now would be a good idea. Writing, reading, drawing, learning a new language, etc.—anything that might shake him out of the funk he’s in and sets him on the road to change.

First of all, I don’t play FPS games. They aren’t my cup of tea.

Secondly, I am far from being addicted. I don’t play the games I own every day and have actually gone for months without touching a video game controller throughout my life. This was especially true when Texas got locked down and I became depressed to the point I developed anhedonia. Misery indeed games more than I do.

Lastly, I actually do read and I have been drawing on and off this year. I try to write stories but I keep getting writer’s block or I write myself into a corner.

I will have to reply to other posts later. I need to meditate right now.

 

[WildCat]

Yeah, and the more you keep up with the envy and believing that others have it easy and well because that's the false impression you're getting from them, the more you'll keep digging yourself into a hole. This might explain why others scowl at you as you put it if you're giving off the corresponding body language. Clearly it's not doing you any good and hasn't done you any good for some time now.

I wouldn't be posting here on this thread if I hadn't been in a depressive rut before looping over the same themes as you are, but if your approach doesn't change you will keep getting the same results. You have a therapist for a reason. Listen to what they're telling you and go from there.

 

[Markness]

First of all... calm down. There's no reason to be feeling bad about any of it. One way or another... this is all just video games. Even I know it's not really important. YOU are important... not the games.

Are you referring to when I said I was feeling suicidal? If so, it wasn’t about gaming that made me feel that way. I received a low exam grade and work has been stressful (I try to post while I am at work when my co-workers can’t see me but I can’t do it for long). In fact, being at work takes me back to when I found out I had Aspergers and I was wondering why I didn’t have a girlfriend.

What game was it? Thing is, some games are a laggy mess even on the strongest PC. It doesnt matter how good the machine is if the game was programmed by a monkey, after all. Also, if you're playing Disgaea and Guilty Gear on anything at all... whatever machine that is, it can handle indies. Even if it's a console. As I stated in another thread, there arent nearly as many indies on consoles as on PC, but... there's still plenty. Lots and lots of stuff to pick from, and it's all inexpensive.

Hell, if you'd like some suggestions on games to try, I'd be happy to offer some, depending on what you're looking for. It's easy enough to check and see if a particular game is available on whatever console before suggesting it.

It was Breeders of the Nephelym.

I play Disgaea and Guilty Gear on PS2-PS4. I also thought Guilty Gear had made a big comeback with Xrd and Strive is generating a lot of hype. BlazBlue seems to have fallen to the wayside these days.

I am short on time again so I will still have to reply to the other things you said and other posts later.

 

[Misery]

Are you referring to when I said I was feeling suicidal? If so, it wasn’t about gaming that made me feel that way. I received a low exam grade and work has been stressful (I try to post while I am at work when my co-workers can’t see me but I can’t do it for long). In fact, being at work takes me back to when I found out I had Aspergers and I was wondering why I didn’t have a girlfriend.



It was Breeders of the Nephelym.

I play Disgaea and Guilty Gear on PS2-PS4. I also thought Guilty Gear had made a big comeback with Xrd and Strive is generating a lot of hype. BlazBlue seems to have fallen to the wayside these days.

I am short on time again so I will still have to reply to the other things you said and other posts later.

Honestly it's hard to tell what specifically someone is getting particularly agitated over someitmes.

In text especially.

That being said, mostly what it seemed like to me was social issues (not meeting people / fitting in) that just happened to focus on the gaming community. Particularly since I've seen that fully happen to people before.


As for that indie game you mentioned, I went and looked it up.

Ye gods, of course that one is not going to work right. Heck, I use my stupid busted laptop for gaming when I'm travelling, it'll run most things (though not very well) but there's no way in heck it'd run... that.

There's also no way that game is built very well either. Just... trust me on that one.

If you got that to run AT ALL, then your machine is right around where I figured it'd be. It'll still run alot of things just fine.


As for Guilty Gear... yeah, that's what everyone thought when Xrd was coming out too. And each release that has come out since. But it all fell apart very fast each time. Arcsys as a whole just hasnt been doing all that good in terms of popularity these days, until DBZ. They used to be on top of the pyramid, and then Street Fighter 4 came along, AND the Guilty Gear license (which was their big one at the time) had legal problems, locking the series into a very, VERY long limbo. Soon MvC3 followed from Capcom, and Arc was pretty much done. Considering my "attachment" to the Guilty Gear series, I did not like that fact, to put it mildly, but a fact it remained.

Blazblue took over around the PS3 era, but it would never achieve the sky-high success that GG had before its collapse. These days Arc seems to be all over the place. I'd say, right now, their main fighter... and maybe one you might want to look into trying... is Dragon Ball Fighterz. That's the Big One for them now, and will likely remain so in the future. But it's never going to hit the heights they had before.

Note though that their fighting games have always been notoriously difficult to get into. Hell, you should have seen how the old Guilty Gear games were. I always say they were the most difficult things in the genre to learn, period. Recently Arc has been trying to make their games much easier to get into, but in the process of doing things they've also kinda made the mechanics of their games a bit... messy?

Part of why I suggest trying Street Fighter or something along those lines, it'd be less... intimidating and confusing. Not to mention the player base is MUCH larger, so the matchmaking online wont be as bad.... more players means more chance of getting an even matchup instead of being stuck against some total expert.

Or maybe try a "full 3D" fighter like Tekken and seeing if that floats your boat a bit better.

 

[Markness]

Honestly it's hard to tell what specifically someone is getting particularly agitated over someitmes.

In text especially.

That being said, mostly what it seemed like to me was social issues (not meeting people / fitting in) that just happened to focus on the gaming community. Particularly since I've seen that fully happen to people before.

I'll admit that does factor in how I feel down when I see younger people and people my age socializing when it comes to gaming but it's not limited to just that. It can also be when I see people socializing at comic book shops (Admittedly, I'm a novice compared to the long time fans of Marvel and DC but I have read a good amount of X-Books (X-Men and related titles) as well as Avengers and Fantastic Four and when it comes to DC, I like Justice League and Teen Titans), the few anime stores I know about, and pop culture conventions. I largely feel like these things should be my niches instead of football and cars which is what a lot of men in the culture I live in rave about while deriding what I like as "geeky", "nerdy", "neckbeardy" (I shave my facial hair every day), or what have you.

As for that indie game you mentioned, I went and looked it up.

Ye gods, of course that one is not going to work right. Heck, I use my stupid busted laptop for gaming when I'm travelling, it'll run most things (though not very well) but there's no way in heck it'd run... that.

There's also no way that game is built very well either. Just... trust me on that one.

If you got that to run AT ALL, then your machine is right around where I figured it'd be. It'll still run alot of things just fine.

Partly why I downloaded the game in the first place was because my friends who game (Not just video games but stuff like DnD as well) all have Steam and I felt some peer pressure to fit in.

I'd say, right now, their main fighter... and maybe one you might want to look into trying... is Dragon Ball Fighterz. That's the Big One for them now, and will likely remain so in the future. But it's never going to hit the heights they had before.

I actually own that one. I've even played it at one of the arcades in Austin (Arcade UFO, which is the only Japanese styled arcade in Texas, according to themselves) but I didn't do so well at it. I actually did better playing Xrd and Revelator. I actually have to take back somewhat what I said earlier about losing more than winning. Against players who are similarly skilled to myself, I tend to do well and even win against but those who are arcade regulars will hand me my butt.

Note though that their fighting games have always been notoriously difficult to get into. Hell, you should have seen how the old Guilty Gear games were. I always say they were the most difficult things in the genre to learn, period. Recently Arc has been trying to make their games much easier to get into, but in the process of doing things they've also kinda made the mechanics of their games a bit... messy?

X is the earliest one I played and I didn't even play it until 2008 because I didn't know about the franchise until I broke out of the peer pressure I was subjected to. Fighting games (with the exception of Mortal Kombat) were not "cool" at either the private or public school I attended. It was all about Half-Life, Halo, GTA, Call of Duty, Gears of War, Unreal, Resistance, sports games, and occasionally WoW. I used to play FPS games in hopes of fitting in but I learned the hard way that doing stuff like that doesn't always translate to social success.

Part of why I suggest trying Street Fighter or something along those lines, it'd be less... intimidating and confusing. Not to mention the player base is MUCH larger, so the matchmaking online wont be as bad.... more players means more chance of getting an even matchup instead of being stuck against some total expert.

Or maybe try a "full 3D" fighter like Tekken and seeing if that floats your boat a bit better.

I have played Street Fighter and have won some matches at both Arcade UFO and a barcade (Bit Bar) that's about 30 or so minutes away from me. I actually used to take Xrd Revelator with me there because they had a PS4 set up for people who wanted to bring games and I actually got people interested for a while but Mortal Kombat rose back to the surface and took back the spotlight. People would get DLC for it but refused to do so for Street Fighter and even Dragon Ball Fighterz.

I used to play Tekken back in my care free early teens by myself on PS2 as well as Soul Calibur but I lost interest in both franchises. It was actually 2D fighters, especially SNK ones, that changed my tastes. I play the new Samurai Shodown but besides a friend, I've yet to challenge anyone on it.

Here's the thing: Where have you actually gone? That's a major aspect of it. Some sites (okay, a lot of sites) are just terrible places (Reddit, for instance), which means a terrible experience of trying to meet anyone at all. But others are not so bad. But let me say this: if even I... negative and unpleasant as I am... can meet other gamers, so can you. Like with fighting games though, you cant go giving up on it. That's simply how it works. Making friends... REAL friends... aint easy, no matter who you are or how great a person you might be.

Arcade UFO and the Bit Bar.

I personally could never date a grown man who plays video games. The best thing you can do for yourself is throw your game consule out the window and start living your life for real. You’re not going to better yourself sitting on your butt and living vicariously through pixels on a screen. Make changes, Markness. The choices you’ve made and continue to make are not working for you.

Ok, I don't "sit on my butt all day". If anything, I'm on my feet most of the time during the day because I have a job that requires constant standing, I take walks, I visit friends when I can, and I buy my own groceries.

 

[Misery]

I'll admit that does factor in how I feel down when I see younger people and people my age socializing when it comes to gaming but it's not limited to just that. It can also be when I see people socializing at comic book shops (Admittedly, I'm a novice compared to the long time fans of Marvel and DC but I have read a good amount of X-Books (X-Men and related titles) as well as Avengers and Fantastic Four and when it comes to DC, I like Justice League and Teen Titans), the few anime stores I know about, and pop culture conventions. I largely feel like these things should be my niches instead of football and cars which is what a lot of men in the culture I live in rave about while deriding what I like as "geeky", "nerdy", "neckbeardy" (I shave my facial hair every day), or what have you.

Ahhhh.... THAT sort of thing.

You know, I've gotten this alot from people. But here's the thing.... what's wrong with being geeky? I know dipwads like those dont want to believe it, but "geeks" are often the ones running things. Whole freaking world runs on computers now, how do those dolts think THAT happened? Honestly usually someone that says something like that is some guy who is feeling insecure and has to try to prove his masculinity for some baffling reason. Or someone who is simply so old-fashioned that they cant comprehend that there might be different ways of doing things now. Thus, berating others for not liking MANLY/"normal" things like sports. I've a couple of family members that used to do this, it's embarassing to watch, eh? Just makes them look old and out of touch.

That being said, you keep mentioning "the culture I live in", but I dont really understand that. What do you mean by it? Is it the area that you live in, that sort of thing?

Also when it comes to socializing at places like comic stores, doing it just randomly with other shoppers usually isnt the best way. I'd strongly suggest getting involved in some sort of event. Uhhh... for instance I used to do like, you know, tournaments for things like M:TG, that kinda thing. That's a good way to meet people. Random shoppers though (doing whatever) typically dont like being approached by someone they dont know. If you see them in a group, chances are they already know each other and met up, rather than being there to meet new people. So, yeah, they dont like being approached too much. That's something you learn through working retail *shudder*. That's part of why conventions DO work for meeting people: everyone expects it. Same with events like tournaments or whatever. Places like that tend to hold some... see if there's something that sounds enjoyable. Well... once it's safe to do so, that is.

I actually own that one. I've even played it at one of the arcades in Austin (Arcade UFO, which is the only Japanese styled arcade in Texas, according to themselves) but I didn't do so well at it. I actually did better playing Xrd and Revelator. I actually have to take back somewhat what I said earlier about losing more than winning. Against players who are similarly skilled to myself, I tend to do well and even win against but those who are arcade regulars will hand me my butt.

That last bit, well... yeah, that's how it goes. It's why the genre is so hard to get into, because there's this massive skill gap. For someone who has already done the Git Gud thing, defeating a newer player doesnt even require effort. If you decide you'd like to compete with them at that level, play it at home, go online, do matches there. You'll get stomped alot like anyone does learning these, but it gives you plenty of time to learn and gain skill without having to specifically be at the arcade to do it. That's the best advice I can give.

X is the earliest one I played and I didn't even play it until 2008 because I didn't know about the franchise until I broke out of the peer pressure I was subjected to. Fighting games (with the exception of Mortal Kombat) were not "cool" at either the private or public school I attended. It was all about Half-Life, Halo, GTA, Call of Duty, Gears of War, Unreal, Resistance, sports games, and occasionally WoW. I used to play FPS games in hopes of fitting in but I learned the hard way that doing stuff like that doesn't always translate to social success.

Haha, school is just like that, aint it? Ridiculous. I remember having to put up with that sort of nonsense. Hated it... was so glad when it was done. As for Guilty Gear, usually when I talk about it the one I'm referring to is X2 and it's many, MANY revisions. That's the one that I typically count as the hardest of the genre. Fighting games have a nasty learning curve but with that one it was more like a learning vertical cliff covered in spikes. Much as I enjoyed it I do think Arc did the right thing in toning their games way the heck down. GG was... too much, back then. Loved the heck outta it but I wont pretend it didnt have that problem.

Did you actually enjoy those games you mentioned, or the FPS stuffs? What sorts of games do you enjoy playing? In your own free time, I mean, not with others. Got any particular favorites?

I have played Street Fighter and have won some matches at both Arcade UFO and a barcade (Bit Bar) that's about 30 or so minutes away from me. I actually used to take Xrd Revelator with me there because they had a PS4 set up for people who wanted to bring games and I actually got people interested for a while but Mortal Kombat rose back to the surface and took back the spotlight. People would get DLC for it but refused to do so for Street Fighter and even Dragon Ball Fighterz.

I used to play Tekken back in my care free early teens by myself on PS2 as well as Soul Calibur but I lost interest in both franchises. It was actually 2D fighters, especially SNK ones, that changed my tastes. I play the new Samurai Shodown but besides a friend, I've yet to challenge anyone on it.

Oh yeah, Mortal Kombat got a huge resurgence in recent years. I'm not sure how they managed that, but they did. I was always a big fan but I dont play it these days. As for DLC, ehhhhh.... people have different views on it. Though for Street Fighter, alot of people are refusing it in recent times due to Capcom's greedy actions.

SNKs games were always good. I was kinda surprised to see Samurai Shodown get a reboot like it did.

And yeah I dont really get much into Tekken or SC either. I dunno. Never clicked.

Arcade UFO and the Bit Bar.

Ahhhh... see for some reason I thought you were talking about INTERNET sites. Like forums. Hmm. Er... when you're meeting people at those... is this while doing the fighting games? Cause I can tell you right now, that's... got inherent problems to it. When I said the fighting game community was the absolute worst, I wasnt joking or exaggerating. Remember how I also said, conventions are a great place to meet people? I've sure met plenty when I'm at them. But there's always been one exception: the part of the convention's game room that focuses on fighting games. If you're going to meet absolute jerkwads, bullies, and overall mean people... that's where you'll find them. Seriously, that community is THAT bad, that they can even take a freaking convention and make things suck. If you want to make friends, who are into games, and all that.... well, that group sure aint where I'd suggest starting, to put it very mildly. I'm not saying there arent ANY friendly fighter fans, but there's such an absurd amount of jerks that, well.... it's honestly the reason why I dont play them anymore these days (despite that I used to play them *obsessively*). Too many run-ins with jerks and bullies and eventually, they sucked all the fun out of it. Video games are supposed to be fun, they're not supposed to be a dumb verbal shoving match. Bah.

I'd still suggest roaming the Net though, to see if you can find communities on there that arent awful. Or talking on here to those who are interested.

 

[Metalhead]

As much as I want to overtake smrnov on the Xbox gamerscore throne, accepting that will never happen leaves me feeling much more content with where I am at in the gaming community. The gaming community is overflowing with manchildren, anyways. I love gaming, but the community has lost sight of the fact that games are meant to be played for fun and recreation a long time ago.

Don't take gaming too seriously, you'll enjoy it a lot more.

 

[Slyfox]

Well, the guy is deeply depressed and lonely, so whatever you and I think about video games in general, they clearly aren’t making him happy (rather the opposite, in fact). I also think it is important for him to be receptive to the comments and advice of others: it doesn’t sound like he knows who he is, so your “be yourself” advice may not be very helpful right now, and I can’t imagine that he’s going to find any answers via a first-person shooter cartoon game.

I read an essay in The Dublin Review not long ago by a guy who described his addiction to video games, and I found it very disturbing. I encourage Markness to try out new hobbies. If he doesn’t want to go to the gym because of the “pandemic,” perhaps taking up jogging or simply walking for now would be a good idea. Writing, reading, drawing, learning a new language, etc.—anything that might shake him out of the funk he’s in and sets him on the road to change.

Iim deeply depressed and super lonely, but video games are the only good thing I have in life now. theres nothing I could do to fix my lonelyness. Until society dramaticly changes to not hate poor disabled men Im going be alone. That won't happen in my lifetime. so until I can't take it anymore im going spend all my money on video games and get what little enjoyment out of this hell as I can. If video games bring him some enjoyment in a otherwise bleak life he shouldn't stop.

as for question I always thought playing games was video game culture. though yes there isn't many females in it. the ones ive seen on dating sites who say they play video games all play sims, nintendo, or world of warcraft, so even though we both play video games we don't actually have anything in common to talk about. While i've heard of some few cases of people meeting on videogames and then getting into a relationship, I wouldn't expect it to happen. most women I've met on videogames I play are constantly asked out, a lot of them won't even voice chat with guys. I wouldn't expect to make in person friends either. that's another rare occurrence. Ive made some online friends from video games. We'll never meet in person and it seems unlikely they last forever, but its only friends I have now.

 

[Markness]

Ahhhh.... THAT sort of thing.

You know, I've gotten this alot from people. But here's the thing.... what's wrong with being geeky? I know dipwads like those dont want to believe it, but "geeks" are often the ones running things. Whole freaking world runs on computers now, how do those dolts think THAT happened? Honestly usually someone that says something like that is some guy who is feeling insecure and has to try to prove his masculinity for some baffling reason. Or someone who is simply so old-fashioned that they cant comprehend that there might be different ways of doing things now. Thus, berating others for not liking MANLY/"normal" things like sports. I've a couple of family members that used to do this, it's embarassing to watch, eh? Just makes them look old and out of touch.

That being said, you keep mentioning "the culture I live in", but I dont really understand that. What do you mean by it? Is it the area that you live in, that sort of thing?

I actually used to be afraid of being seen as a “geek” or “nerd” in school despite how I loved dinosaurs, mythology, and unconventional rock music. I no longer worry about that, especially after I graduated and was away from that sort of peer pressure.

Allow me to elucidate the best I can. I live in the Killeen-Temple-Fort Hood metropolitan area that takes up a good chunk of Central Texas: Killeen–Temple–Fort Hood metropolitan area - Wikipedia

I specifically live in Temple and due to being close to a military installation like Fort Hood, there is a lot of patriotism (not necessarily a bad thing in itself) among folks and it’s sometimes taken to extreme levels. It’s common to see cars with bumper stickers that say things like “Try to take my gun, I’ll shoot your ****in’ ass!” or “Kill ‘em all, let God sort ‘em out...” and so on.

Men are also expected to do dangerous stunts like speeding their vehicles on the roads, streets, and neighborhoods (especially if someone else is going faster than them and they feel like their “masculinity” is getting challenged or they just want to be aggressive). Homophobic slurs are also common during fights and this gets handed down through the generations.

Obviously, not everyone here does that. It’s just that I keep encountering rough faces in my day to day living.

Also when it comes to socializing at places like comic stores, doing it just randomly with other shoppers usually isnt the best way. I'd strongly suggest getting involved in some sort of event. Uhhh... for instance I used to do like, you know, tournaments for things like M:TG, that kinda thing. That's a good way to meet people. Random shoppers though (doing whatever) typically dont like being approached by someone they dont know. If you see them in a group, chances are they already know each other and met up, rather than being there to meet new people. So, yeah, they dont like being approached too much. That's something you learn through working retail *shudder*. That's part of why conventions DO work for meeting people: everyone expects it. Same with events like tournaments or whatever. Places like that tend to hold some... see if there's something that sounds enjoyable. Well... once it's safe to do so, that is.

I am friends with the owner and the only other worker at the comic book store and that’s largely because not only are they there all day most of the time but the foot traffic is slow so they often spend time taking it easy around the store so I can talk to them. I also met Jason David Frank when he did an in store appearance (heavily regulated, though, due to COVID restrictions and all that) to support comic shops. The place has done events before but aside from JDF and one other Power Ranger (I wasn’t familiar with him) appearing at the store, COVID restrictions have prevented events like toy/comic showcasing and collecting, Funko Pop swaps, and video game tournaments.

Did you actually enjoy those games you mentioned, or the FPS stuffs? What sorts of games do you enjoy playing? In your own free time, I mean, not with others. Got any particular favorites?

Sure, I did out of the ones in the list I actually did play. Halo 2 I got hooked on and my younger brother and I had friends in the neighborhood our father lived in (our parents split two years before that) so we had constant matches. I only played Half-Life 1 and 2, only played the first Resistance, and only played Unreal Tournament 3. As far as other FPS games, I dug Doom, Quake, and Prey. However, I lost passion for the genre when Doom and Quake dropped off the scene, the original Prey sequel never came out, BlackSite: Area 51 made me feel nauseous (literally, not figuratively), and Crysis destroyed (Again, literally and not figuratively) my old PC. In fact, those two games along with the ticket for Skyline I would happily unbuy if it was possible. I could’ve started my comic book and manga collections earlier instead.

I spent a whole summer (2013) playing and beating both X’s and Zero’s scenarios in Mega Man X4. That was a good time since I couldn’t even beat a single Maverick or Repliforce boss as a kid and I made up for lost time. It was also fulfilling to finally get through the main story of Final Fantasy VIII 17 years after I last played it (2000) as well as finally give FF IX a chance after not doing so back in 2000 as well. My younger brother who is a big survival horror fan encouraged me to play Parasite Eve (another one I didn’t give a chance) and I actually beat it as well as it’s sequel.

I like Final Fantasy, Disgaea, Mega Man X, Resident Evil, and Parasite Eve. I’ve played through Demon’s Souls and have yet to beat Dark Souls. I’ve only played and still haven’t finished one Tales game but I am open to playing more. I’ve played through a handful of Armored Core games. I had fun finally finishing Brave Fencer Musashi and Wild 9.

Er... when you're meeting people at those... is this while doing the fighting games?

But there's always been one exception: the part of the convention's game room that focuses on fighting games. If you're going to meet absolute jerkwads, bullies, and overall mean people... that's where you'll find them. Seriously, that community is THAT bad, that they can even take a freaking convention and make things suck. If you want to make friends, who are into games, and all that.... well, that group sure aint where I'd suggest starting, to put it very mildly. I'm not saying there arent ANY friendly fighter fans, but there's such an absurd amount of jerks that, well.... it's honestly the reason why I dont play them anymore these days (despite that I used to play them *obsessively*). Too many run-ins with jerks and bullies and eventually, they sucked all the fun out of it. Video games are supposed to be fun, they're not supposed to be a dumb verbal shoving match. Bah.

Not always. I’ve gotten to talk shop with others during down time and I even got to see some people regularly but I don’t see them anymore now. I kick myself for not keeping contact with them.

I’ve actually hadn’t had that problem at the handful of conventions I’ve been to. I even got to play the MHA fighting game with a cute girl who was cosplaying a gender swapped Kirishima but I stupidly didn’t ask to exchange contact info with her.

 

[Kalinychta]

Iim deeply depressed and super lonely, but video games are the only good thing I have in life now. theres nothing I could do to fix my lonelyness. Until society dramaticly changes to not hate poor disabled men Im going be alone. That won't happen in my lifetime. so until I can't take it anymore im going spend all my money on video games and get what little enjoyment out of this hell as I can. If video games bring him some enjoyment in a otherwise bleak life he shouldn't stop.

as for question I always thought playing games was video game culture. though yes there isn't many females in it. the ones ive seen on dating sites who say they play video games all play sims, nintendo, or world of warcraft, so even though we both play video games we don't actually have anything in common to talk about. While i've heard of some few cases of people meeting on videogames and then getting into a relationship, I wouldn't expect it to happen. most women I've met on videogames I play are constantly asked out, a lot of them won't even voice chat with guys. I wouldn't expect to make in person friends either. that's another rare occurrence. Ive made some online friends from video games. We'll never meet in person and it seems unlikely they last forever, but its only friends I have now.

I'm really sorry to hear that. Being autistic is so difficult in this world. Really, your post is a good general point: so many of us have to make do with "lesser" forms of social interaction.

 

[Markness]

I'm really sorry to hear that. Being autistic is so difficult in this world. Really, your post is a good general point: so many of us have to make do with "lesser" forms of social interaction.

Most of the socialization I see around me revolves around drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, watching football, blasting country or rap music, showing off guns, and watching violent movies or TV shows like South Park or Family Guy. This is largely why I feel socially isolated. I was actually derided for having artistic interests because they were seen as either “weird”, “ain’t gonna get you anywhere”, or even “gay”. My father even discouraged me from wanting to make playing the guitar my life and I wish I could’ve but I struggled with it to the point I go long periods of not playing. I still pick it up from time to time but I can’t play at the level I wish I could to save my life.