I would like to hear your experience.

[Markapol]

Hi everyone,

My own emotions can be quite abstract sometimes, I have difficulties expressing myself, especially when I was younger I struggled a lot with the social aspect of life. I’m graduating within a few months with a very personal project (I study Animation). A picture book for children about autism.

A story titled Non-Identical, influenced/based on me and my non-identical, NT twin brother. In this story we follow 6-year old twin, Manuel and Arthur. The story is about loneliness, the isolating impact autism can have, friendship, the strong bond between the brothers that helps to overcome hurdles, he without could perhaps not or have more difficulties with, and about growth, because though I still struggle in some aspects, and doubt I will ever reach a social level that is considered ‘normal’, I’m still proud of the steps I've made over the years.

I’ve been working on it for a little over a month now, am still developing a definitive story, but noticed already that the experiences of others were of great influence on the direction of the story and its visuals. It makes me understand my project and myself better. It also helps me get out of my comfort zone and open up more about myself and show that in my work.

But my experience being on the autism spectrum is just one of many. Because I’ve difficulties expressing myself verbally, I started experimenting with making them visual, let the visuals speak.

For example, when I was younger, had a meltdown, my parents really tried to understand what’s going on, but the only thing I could answer was. “I don’t know what happened”. Now that I’m older, I still don’t really know what happens, but there are situations that do remind me of it, or feel like the same sensation, so I have some sort of tool to express those complex emotions.

So I’ve been asking people on the spectrum to describe this feeling, try to explain it. And then I would translate those into a visual (small illustration or animation). People in my surroundings, academy, people that shared their experience reacted very positive on the visual results.

(I’ve done a few so far, these were focused on Meltdowns)

So if you’re interested, I would like to hear about your experience, how you would describe/recall certain emotions, situations. It doesn’t have to be about the feeling of having an Meltdown like the example above, Could be anything, social difficulties, change, special interest, meltdown etc. It would be a great help! And when I finish a illustration or animation I can share them, show the progress if you would like!

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am happy to share . . . will put it into a conversation because I don't want to get repetitive here.

 

[Knower of nothing]

Very nice, I love animation. I'm not sure I can help for meltdowns specifically as that's all distant memory but I'll be keeping an eye out for your progress. Will the end result be narrated or voice acted or anything?

 

[Wolfnox]

I can try. I always called it the madness. A complete and total overwhelming of the mind by emotions and thoughts. An unstoppable surge that you ride and try to navigate. Like a ship in stormy seas.
Memories, thoughts, feelings like fear and pain are slammed threw. Echoing in your mind along with thoughts of condemnation for your weakness. Your fighting to hang on to sanity. Angry, sad, happy, afraid, ashamed, all at the same time. You can't hold it back long. Just endure.

You can also make yourself sick enduring. It puts intense strain on the body and mind. Muscle contractions, headaches, pressure on the heart. Difficulty catching your breath. Vision blurring.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

For a meltdownI liken it to running a Class IV drop in my whitewater canoe. Your focus contracts and the only thought is to hit the points you mapped out when you scouted the rapid, the noise of the water is all you hear and the adrenalin hits and your body is on full reflexive automatic. You move almost without thinking and time seems to slow because you are hyperaware. After you have finished sometimes I feel drained and it takes a while to unpack what just happened.

 

[SusanLR]

Anger, hurt, fear all rolled into one. Followed by going non-verbal and isolation for a day or two.
Resulting in depression and exhaustion.

 

[Markapol]

Very nice, I love animation. I'm not sure I can help for meltdowns specifically as that's all distant memory but I'll be keeping an eye out for your progress. Will the end result be narrated or voice acted or anything?

When I started out, I wanted to make a 3-min animation short. I had already contacted voice actors etc. But quickly realized that I had difficulty translating my emotions into a story that I wanted to tell. An actual animation became more of a burden due to time rather than something I was excited to work on. Then I decided to work on a more personal story and shift focus from an Animation Short to a Children's Picture book (Aiming for 32-48 pages).

When I was a lot younger, my brother also acted as a kind of mirror. I saw him do well in aspects that I really wanted to be good at, such as being social. In the book we both follow the brothers' story. When you open a book you have two pages, on one we follow Manuel, and the other Arthur. In this way we see two perspectives on the world, thoughts etc.

 

[Knower of nothing]

Ahh, I see. Well I'm excited all the same. Best of luck.