Illiteral ~ just for a laugh

[Kayla55]

What crazy thing did you say or do that wasn't meant literally. It's just to laugh about it...

About a year ago my Mom went to stay at old age home, she complemented the cook on the food. He said great she must find out what everyone thinks of food and let him know.
So she interviewed I mean everyone, wrote the complaints down and put it in the complaints box!!
You did what? No wonder they upset with you. You know

Me, well I was asked once if I burnt my dolls, I replied no, but I did give Barbie a haircut. No one really tried to make conversation again. (I suppose my reply made no sense)

 

[Tom]

What crazy thing did you say or do that wasn't meant literally. It's just to laugh about it...

About a year ago my Mom went to stay at old age home, she complemented the cook on the food. He said great she must find out what everyone thinks of food and let him know.
So she interviewed I mean everyone, wrote the complaints down and put it in the complaints box!!
You did what? No wonder they upset with you. You know

Me, well I was asked once if I burnt my dolls, I replied no, but I did give Barbie a haircut. No one really tried to make conversation again. (I suppose my reply made no sense)

I think your reply made sense. But asking someone if they 'burnt their dolls' has me scratching my head.

 

[Human Avatar]

My mother asked me to pay attention.

I always replied how much does it cost ?

 

[autism-and-autotune]

What crazy thing did you say or do that wasn't meant literally. It's just to laugh about it...

About a year ago my Mom went to stay at old age home, she complemented the cook on the food. He said great she must find out what everyone thinks of food and let him know.
So she interviewed I mean everyone, wrote the complaints down and put it in the complaints box!!
You did what? No wonder they upset with you. You know

Me, well I was asked once if I burnt my dolls, I replied no, but I did give Barbie a haircut. No one really tried to make conversation again. (I suppose my reply made no sense)

MY mother once told me to 'use some elbow grease' on those stains on the stove one day while we were cleaning the kitchen. I was...seven or eight? Younger than ten. Frantically I looked inside each cabinet, crying and lamenting of the lack of existence of a miracle chemical-cleaner called 'elbow grease.'

 

[Lactobuzzillus]

The other day my YouTube was serving up romantic advice videos. I saw a video titled “How to draw a man near” and it took me a good few seconds to realize it wasn’t about using foreshortening in your artwork.

 

[Slightly]

People ask me if the glass is half empty or half full.
I say both.

 

[Progster]

When people say "What's up?" my reply is "The sky."

 

[Lactobuzzillus]

When people say "What's up?" my reply is "The sky."

Yep. Either that or “gas prices” lol

 

[Kayla55]

It's strange when corrected son's consonant deletion....the speech essay was by someone who had ol Irish teacher who's accent helped her language.
My aunt Pat was one of these, she would talk as in me muuum said put laundry there and push it out later. Being more humble I suppose I spent more time there than learning to say moron with stuff upper lip. Many have asked about my accent, can't place this as Australian!! Whilst I suppose I speak Irish minus the accent, very confused mummble jummble.
But my son absolutely doesn't switch off so he's used to me speech, he actually only sometimes points out how illiteral my statement was.

My statement:
Put cold fusion (on ice ) for now ....
It's mental dyslexia, no not ice, it's not cold, either...well ice for now!!

 

[Kayla55]

I haven't gone out much in last 16 years so I think my masking is rusty. I remember having this problem and it became speech exercise: describe in you own words what is happening.
It's a lot of work....

Carrie Clark - final consonant deletion
Bee beak beam
Cow couch count
Boat bow bone

Just to sound out identify sound is different, but it works!!

 

[Lactobuzzillus]

Came across this on r/aspiememes just now

 

[Slightly]

When people say "What's up?" my reply is "The sky."

Some years ago a girl asked me 'what's up' at a social thing. I turned my head up and looked at the sky to see what was up. When I looked back at her, she slapped the you know what out of me before I had the chance to say 'sky and a couple birds'. I stared at her for a moment and then walked away. Was never quite sure what she found offensive.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Came across this on r/aspiememes just now

View attachment 98577

nailed it us to a T.

 

[Progster]

Some years ago a girl asked me 'what's up' at a social thing. I turned my head up and looked at the sky to see what was up. When I looked back at her, she slapped the you know what out of me before I had the chance to say 'sky and a couple birds'. I stared at her for a moment and then walked away. Was never quite sure what she found offensive.

She's obviously got no sense of humour.

 

[WiffingWaffles]

My mother asked me to pay attention.

I always replied how much does it cost ?

"Boi if you dont get-"

 

[WiffingWaffles]

nailed it us to a T.

LOL.

 

[WiffingWaffles]

Some years ago a girl asked me 'what's up' at a social thing. I turned my head up and looked at the sky to see what was up. When I looked back at her, she slapped the you know what out of me before I had the chance to say 'sky and a couple birds'. I stared at her for a moment and then walked away. Was never quite sure what she found offensive.

Could've played it off like you're a comedian.